How do/did you find the time to start?

[lolasandy]

Just that really. I am not starting from scratch as such.

I had a craft business/Etsy shop which I started about 5 years ago and did really well alongside my full time job (pre kids) spending evenings and weekends on it. Then I continued on May leave and was making probably 50% of my usual full time salary just working during baby naps and evenings (or what I had of evenings with a baby).

I had to return to work for 6 months to not have to pay mat pay back, then we had covid and I was furloughed, I carried on with the business and during 4ish months of furlough I managed to earn about as much as my usual job.

Then I fell pregnant (unexpected but great as I was told I was infertile after #1 but always wanted 2). I had a really difficult pregnancy and made the decision to park the business as it was too much working full time also, and I didn't want to quit work as I needed the maternity security. Then on mat leave we ended up relocating to a new family home which became a very drawn out process (and all business materials packed up for 6months+) and before I knew it I was back at work.

Now I've been back in full time work for 6/7 months, second DC is 18 months. I hate my job. Want to get back into the business. I have all the materials and equipment but just can't find the energy in an evening. For probably 3 months now I've said 'right tomorrow evening I'm going to start' but then I'm shattered!

I work extended hours over 4 days, 2 days off I have both preschool DC and the other day is our only family day. DH works long hours too (longer than me) and there's always so much to do (food to make, dog walk, house work, an abandoned garden...!) I can't keep up with the house never mind anything else.

I just can't get started as I know how much I'll have to do to get to where I was again. And we can't afford w drop on earnings so I need to get to my full time salary before I could think about leaving work. But that would take so much work around a full time job! I'm not work shy, but I think I'm just overwhelmed. Do I just need to get stuck in???
Any tips or experience? I don't want to hate what I do forever.

Honestly I would park it for now and concentrate on just working and bringing up your children. You experienced the great rise of online sales during COVID, it is not easy to make money in crafts now, and I speak from 12 years of experience in the industry, having had to let staff go recently because the money isn't there. You will not be able to get to the point where you are matching your salary without real hard graft, and with two little ones and a full time job, you will be on your knees.

Two of you working long hours isn't viable either. In my household it was me working silly hours for a long time and DH with the regular 9-5. I've cut back on my hours now (largely because my business has been beyond quiet over the last two years) but now DH is self employed it has enabled him to work longer hours.

Thanks @DelilahBucket I keep thinking that but I really hate my job and I am someone who takes that feeling on quite deeply and really struggle feeling trapped.

I am in another mind about whether to move jobs and make a couple of applications for things I have seen in the same field that are slightly more senior and with different types of organisations, but I feel like that's just prolonging a career in a general area I have no passion for.

Or whether to make a big job change but ultimately options are limited when you can't take a pay cut.

The grass is not greener being self employed, especially in your situation. Two preschoolers, a busy husband and a need for guaranteed income, none of those suit working for yourself. Self employment isn't for you right now. You would still need to pay for childcare, you wouldn't be able to just take a day off when one of the kids is sick, or get paid time off for a holiday. You wouldn't just need to match your full time income, if you ever want time off, you'd need to beat it.
I have found myself longing to go back to being an employee more and more this year, and I really do love my job, but it's just getting harder and harder to earn, and for once I'd like to not be sat on my laptop at 9:30pm replying to a customer who is complaining about a zip because I haven't had time to deal with her all day and if I don't respond within 24 hours I get a black mark on my account 😔.

Hi @DelilahBucket yes I can totally see that and those are all the reasons I have stayed in full time work and continue to do so. I think I am feeling it is impossible to get to full time salary whilst working full time and it probably is.

Eldest DC starts school in September so I am hoping that will take the pressure off maybe start slow and do it for the enjoyment. I would like to think by the time both DC are at school and we are nearly £1k a month better off than now, maybe then will be my time to really grow it but I want to have the foundations ready.

I appreciate how hard it is being self employed and have been there with the awkward customers and being at the mercy of reviews (though never as my sole income, granted) however there is something so soul destroying about hating your job! Maybe I need to find something I hate less in the short term!

It depends what the business is I suppose. Last year I spent 10k on a franchise for something I love and it's nearly paid for now. I expected to break even by year three but it looks like being at 18 months. I dropped to two days paye in May and that's about the right balance for me.

There's nothing quite like being at the mercy of your customers, and the sites you sell on (Amazon put a reserve on every sellers account a couple of days ago and as a handmade seller they are now holding on to my cash for up to five weeks after dispatch!) and everything else you juggle, while it being your only income with the bills to pay at the end of the month. You don't have one boss, you have thousands of people you are answerable to. Honestly, you've barely even scratched the surface, and it's 50 times harder now than it was pre COVID. My turnover has halved from lock down and I have 50% more lines plus I wholesale now. There's something very soul destroying about not having enough money to pay your mortgage. I've been at breaking point several times over the last year.

I would agree that you are best looking for something else, but a change in career is most likely going to result in a drop in income for at least the short term. When I transitioned between employed and self employed, I ended up working part time as employed, then about 70 hours a week self employed, then dropped the part time job and worked seven days a week to get the business full up and running. It was a good five years before I could step back a bit and enjoy the fruits of my labour.

The craft is clearly something you really enjoy doing, otherwise you wouldn't have turned it into a business in the first place.

Might I suggest that you rediscover what it was you love about it, and just create a few thing for fun? That way, you are not putting yourself under any pressure at all, and can just pick it up and put it down whenever you feel like it.

Another bonus would be that you will also gradually build up some stock in advance of starting again properly.

The replies are interesting as I would have said the total opposite!

Im a single parent to 4 children and was tired as fuck but I just pushed through.

5 years later , I’m in a good position as I work when I want , I have staff and a decent income. I can afford to give my children what they want.

so I am happy that I worked on it when I didn’t want to. I never wasted time when I was starting up. I got rid of all distractions / social media- I had one goal in mind and that was to leave work.

I personally would say go for it! There’s pockets of time everywhere - accept you will be tired but think of the long game!

@Merapi yes that's what I think I need to do, because I need to rediscover a new range anyway as my old designs would need a refresh etc anyway. I really need to just get tinkering, but probably in my mind theres so much pressure on it!

I think there's a fear of picking things back up again because I feel like I failed. I have all this equipment and materials taking up half a room in the house and I feel guilty at the money spent on them. I know deep down they have paid for themselves many times over when I was making money and I didn't feel, I was given the wonderful gift of another baby and we moved sort of due to that and needing more space, family closer etc.

I feel a bit trapped now though as the new mortgage is at our limits (thankfully fixed just before all the big rises in interest) but everything else of course costs more and there's no leeway. There's light at the end of the tunnel in the long term as our childcare is sky high and will only go down, but I just really struggle with the trapped feeling. I know lots of people have to live like this and just get on with it. But I get very affected by how I'm spending my time (ie hating job)

Probably doesn't help that non work days are fairly unenjoyable at the moment too as both dc are at awkward ages (4 and 18m) not really hey compatible in terms of playing or doing the same thing, toddler a handful and 4yo having a resurgence of jealously all the time. But hey, maybe another reason to do something therapeutic in an evening rather than staring at screens looking at other peoples hobby businesses longingly!

@Sunnydeposit thanks I needed to hear that. Sometimes I think I'm so tired and run down anyway, life is a blur, a bit more tired can't be that much worse (I'm sure the reality is a lot more tired!)

I find my job really stressful and struggle switch off, I'm not a clock in clock out person so I'm not even getting the benefit of working for someone else and not thinking about work 247 because that's just not me.

Totally true about pockets of time. I feel like I have no time but after the kids are in bed I make tea, sort washing, get the nursery bags ready for the next day then sit down and either watch tv or tiptap on apps/internet 8-11pm! My screen time scares me and I switched my screen time control on last week as a test and showed myself I have 3 hours every evening. I suppose the difference is once things are up and running it becomes a must do!

Can peel it back a bit and just frame it as something like "I will do one evening a week when kids are in bed and a goal of £x in savings by the new year?"

Be specific with which evening. Try to get a feel for how it all goes and how much interest it generates then reassess at the start of 2024.

@Sunnydeposit did you start while you were working full time and how did you make the switch/ manage the point where both things were taking up the most time possible before you could switch from employed to self employed? Or did you have to take a leap before the income built?

Yes, I was full time- I was using every break at work to answer emails for my company - I would then leave , pick all the kids up- evening time, work until midnight/ 1 and start the day again.

I actually took a loan of 15k out and then quit, in hindsight I didn’t need it but I was also a little bit scared! So that was a little reassurance for me- and when I had so many more hours to work- it made me more money, so I paid the loan off and haven’t looked back.

There was a point where I didn’t have much time for the kids and I had to say to myself that it wasn’t fair on them, and I felt I was slacking a bit in my job.

I would definitely say stop the scrolling - it’s designed for us to waste our time! Look at the bigger picture , keep building up your hours , week 1, spend 1 hour or your business, week 2, another hour, you could even increase by just 10 mins each week if 1 hour was too much of a jump.

but i would advise to start!