Struggling...

[emwithme]

So I'm 14 weeks in and 12.5 lbs down ANOTHER gain this week (only half a pound but still fucking upwards)

I cannot motivate myself properly to do this - even though I look at photos and see a fucking giant munter in them (was Best Friend's hen weekend a couple of weeks ago - gained two pounds - and there was not a single photo of me that I didn't want to rip off facebook and throw out of the window) and I know I can't carry on at this weight.

I can't do more exercise (I am disabled - but not disabled enough to get PIP, according to the letter from the DWP yesterday), am struggling with just doing day-to-day stuff so where I would previously have gone to the gym and beasted myself for a couple of hours to kick-start things, I can't.

I can't spend hours cooking (I'm lucky if I can manage to make a meal without fucking falling over in the kitchen or dropping the knife and cutting myself) so I can't make all the nice things I made five years ago when I did SW and lost five stone.

I just want to chop my fucking head off (at least that way I'd get my stone certificate)

So we're 8 weeks on from this point, and I got my 1 1/2 stone award today - 22 lbs in 25 weeks - with a loss every week for the past six.

Best friend got married, day was wonderful I think, I was passed out drunk , I've carried on with the happy tablets and they seem to be working (I'm at about 90% which is excellent), I am sleeping from when I go to bed at night until when my alarm goes off in the morning (and then a little more!) for the first time in probably ten years, we now have kittens who can be furry little asshats but give excellent snuggles.

I am feeling far more positive about this now, and I hope to make my Club 10 weight by Christmas.

Well done! I have yet to make 1.5 stones off and I've been at it since March...

Congratulations that's great news and great weight loss - what a great Christmas present to yourself

em that's sounding wonderfully positive. Go get that club 10, it's yours for the taking :)

I only went and fucking did it, with a pound to spare! Group was moved to today (rather than us have to go on Christmas Eve) and, as of this morning, I am 1 stone 10 lbs lighter than when I started in June. I got my Club 10 (after a little gain last week - but I had my brother's funeral, a stinking cold, and two Christmas meals out) and am so bloody chuffed with myself.

Happy tablets are definitely working. Kittens are wonderful (I have one lying across my boobs right now, the other is at my feet), DH is a pain in the bum - but he's my pain in the bum, so no change there!

I'm not planning on going mad this week, although I have treated myself to some lovely squishy tiger bread and real butter today.

Onwards and downwards. 4lbs to my next stone, which I hope to have by the end of January, and 6 lbs to my "wedding" weight.

Well done, glad you are no longer struggling! You must be pleased with yourself. I have lost today and feel so much better than in October. Merry Christmas 🎅

Merry Christmas to you too!

I really am so pleased - I cannot believe how much better I feel (both in terms of how big I am, and my mental health). I sorted out a load of clothes last night and I fit into my jeans from three years ago (but they've gone in the bin because they're torn to shreds) as well as a load of bras that I never thought would fit again. There's a giant bag for the charity shop too.

I have still got my "fat" trackie bottoms from before I lost weight last time. I need two hands to hold them up. They're not quite "fit down one leg" but very nearly.

I am 4 stone 1 lb lighter than my heaviest ever weight, and 13 lbs heavier than my lightest ever (well, not ever, but I don't think 6lbs 8oz is achievable!) I am hoping to maintain this week - we have more cheese than you can shake a stick at but I am aiming to "eat like a thin person" - by which I mean:

Eat when I'm hungry
Eat slowly with purpose
Stop when I'm full