Are all SW meetings like this or should I find a new one?

[PinkParsnips]

Joined SW last night and just found the meeting really disappointing!!!

I swapped from WW purely because the meeting times didnt suit me but I found their groups really helpful and motivational, usually a little talk about a weekly topic eg going on holiday with tips etc. and asking if anyone wanted to mention big losses etc. It was great.

Last night, ok it was a big group - about 30 stayed for the meeting, but all that happened was that she went round EACH AND EVERY person in alphabetical order announcing their weight loss, everyone had to clap and then listen to what target they wanted to set for next week - it was so boring!

I came away (at 9.15 when it was due to finish at 8.30!) feeling really flat, bored and unmotivated.

Do all the SW meetings take the same format or should I give it another week and then look for another? Dreading having to sit through that each week, which isn't a great start!!

Am looking forward to getting started with the plan though so it isn't all bad!!

Yes, they do all take the same format. However, I've been to meetings with different consultants and it does make a difference who your consultant is I think. I mostly found meetings very boring and therefore never stayed, which also meant I went off plan after a while. My current consultant is brilliant, very funny and engaging and I can only assume this attracts a certain type of member as they are mostly fab too and I did find my current meeting boring at all.

I did try weight watchers for a while and didn't keep it up as I didn't like the plan, but also as I didn't like the meeting format. I lost 6lb one week but didn't feel able to say anything, although I wanted to shout it from the roof tops as it felt a bit like showing off, whereas at SW someone else does the mentioning for you, which suits me better. I also like the 'awards' at SW and although I wouldn't have thought it at the start, I do find these things motivating.

I found 'my' group on the 3rd try. I always thought the image therapy was nonsense as it was just as you described. The group I enjoyed was a good mix of people and had a buzzy atmosphere. Whilst the format (going around everyone) was the same, my consultant was able to elaborate on successes/struggles to include the whole group. Definitely try another group or two, or three!

Yeah I do see what you mean midori about bragging, it's probably a bit to do with my personality actually as I'm quite shy and I think I enjoyed the fact at WW you could speak if you wanted to but if not it was ok and tbh I was there just for giving/receiving tips really. I guess if I want to stick with SW I'll have to get my head around this new way!

I just found it really boring listening to what 30+ people's targets were - I don't really see how that helps me personally IYSWIM and it took so much time!

Anyway I'll give this group a few more weeks to settle in after the new year maybe, I'm sure the group will get smaller - she did mention the word 'fun' at the new member induction part so it must be going to happen soon!! haha. If not I'll maybe keep looking for 'my' group as you say Isaw

I went to my second Slimming World last night and I've found the same as you OP. I used to do WW as well and their plan isn't as good but their meetings are so much better. I was incredibly bored by the listing of everyone's weight losses and this is the second time it's happened. My friend said she wasn't going to carry on if every meeting was going to be like that.

The group is so big that it was taking forever because she has to ask your name and then look you up on the iPad rather than just asking you what you lost, and you couldn't really hear what people were saying. The leader totally lost the attention of the meeting because of it and people were just chatting amongst themselves.

It just seems to go against the entire philosophy of privacy that they had at WW. It makes me think of Little Britain the way that everyone is either congratulated or shamed in front of everyone. She got to one woman and looked her up and then said "oh you didn't lose anything this week" and she said "no I didn't... sorry". She shouldn't be put in a position where she feels she has to apologise to the whole group for not having lost any weight that week.

She then just furthered it with "do you know why you didn't lose?" etc. That's the exact conversation you would have with your leader at the scales in WW. It's not a conversation to have in front of everyone. My friend and I left before she got round to us because it was after the finish time of 8:30pm and we'd already been there an hour and a quarter.

I feel sad because the plan is really good and I like the regiment of going and weighing to keep me on track but the 2 meetings so far are dire.

The two I tried were like that and it really put me off. They were far too long too. To make it worse at one of mine the leader had her eyes down on her iPad noting stuff down so didn't even make eye contact or look like she was listening! And she started by announcing the biggest loser of the week etc and talking to them, then repeated herself asking them the same questions when she got to them whilst going through everyone! Can see it might work in a small group but it really wasn't for me and I simply didn't have time when I wasn't getting anything out of it. Ww meetings much better imo.

Monstrous, that sounds like it is a problem with the consultant really. I think how they deal with discussing losses etc makes a huge difference. Ours is always very light hearted and even though or class is huge (so much so the consultant is having to add an extra class as there are about 180 members over two classes now, although they don't always stay for image therapy obviously) the consultant knows how to get through everyone quickly and keep it entertaining. There is absolutely no shaming involved and it is always made very clear that the journey to weight loss isn't a straightforward one, there will be ups and downs and there is absolutely no shame in a gain. If someone has lost then the loss is read out, if someone has gained or maintained they are asked if they are ok with that. Becaus did the dynamics of our group people are often happy to volunteer how much they have gained and the reasons why it that they don't understand it etc. if someone wasn't happy with being spoken to in a group like that then they could ask the consultant to pass them by and not mention them, but no one does this that nice noticed.

My consultant isn't good either. Its the sw format though.
No inspiration at all. I'd like not to go but don't stick to plan myself.
We need to start a thread to insprie or confess on.

Is the "going round reading out people's losses" = Image Therapy? Last night, I was assuming that my friend and I missed the proper Image Therapy part of the meeting because the "how are you doing" bit was going on so long. Do they do anything pre-planned like at WW? Each meeting would have a theme such as barbecues, buffets, slow cooking, exercising, eating out, dealing with parties etc. and you'd get a little handout about it every week.

I don't think the leader was intentionally shaming the woman who said she hadn't lost weight - it's just the very nature of that process puts focus on the individual in front of everyone. If you've asked to be skipped over, it's gonna be obvious to everyone too if everyone else gets asked and then someone pipes up "you've missed Monstrous" etc.

I was thinking about messaging the leader to ask if she could do the Image Therapy first and then do the individual weight losses last so that people who don't have any problems they want to discuss could nip off home.

Getting individual contact with the main leader at WW was when you weighed. I noticed the main leader at SW so far hasn't done any weighing and one of the helpers has been doing it.

Sorry to compare to WW so much but I did it for years and was a helper at one point! I do find the reading out losses bit so irritating I'm close to quitting the meeting bit and might just turn up and weigh if nothing more interesting happens soon.

Years ago when I joined SW, those who had lost weight got a round of applause, those who had gained got pig snorting noises! I stopped going to the meetings and did it successfully on my own.

at snorting pig noises. Horrifying!

Monstrous, 'image therapy' is the whole meeting I think. I'm not sure if it is up to consultants to decide what to talk about each time tbh. Ours usually does something topical, so in summers to might be about BBQ food or what to do if you go on holiday if you want to protect your loss etc. our consultant also talks about branded products each week and any good find she or members have found that are syn free or any 'scandals' that are surprisingly high in syns. we also have recipes on the table each week to take away on a printed sheet and a raffle which is usually to win the ingredients to make one of the recipes. There is also a facebook page/group where people post recipes, photos, ideas etc and also post for support if they are having a bad week or they post if something's old happens due to their weight loss and before and after pics etc. the consultant also gives us a little 'silly' gift at Christmas.

We have a lot of members in the class and I'm not sure if anyone would either noticed or say if someone was missed out when the losses etc are discussed. It IS hard not to compare when you have been to another group for a long time and I felt the same way when I went to WW. However, I thnk a lot was probably also due to the fact that the consultant herself was mind numbingly boring with no charisma at all and also that she didn't seem to care less about the members. She never text anyone, even on the first week (not sure if this is WW policy) and not even when I left, whereas my SW consultant texts at various times and its always personalised. Nothing stalkerish and I know some people wouldn't like it, but I do. Even when I was struggling last year and wanted to give WW a go I discussed it with my SW consultant and she was happy for me to do what I needed to do. I do like the SW plan, but ultimately, I like my consultant and it is her (and then ogre up members) that keep me going, even during bad weeks.

Thanks for your help midori. I don't really know what to do. I might message the leader and say I'd prefer not to be part of the reading out thing. It makes me uncomfortable, but it also makes me uncomfortable just listening to it and hearing other people and how well they've done. It just makes you feel crap and a failure if you've not done so well. I need inspiring with fresh ideas and fun stuff rather than shaming. There's only so much I can listen to of things like "And how did you find it this week?" "it was okay. I've been using a lot of quark this week and jacket potatoes for lunch." x 40. If the leader is ill, we could probably get away with a recording of her saying "You lost.....pounds" and "And how did you find it this week?" and just play it back to each person.

I suppose everyone's different. I love hearing about how well everyone else is doing, I find it inspiring. There's a chap at my group who joined the day I did who is now 6 1/2 stone lighter and the change in him, not just how he looks but in his confidence , is amazing. He got his 5 stone award after 6 months and I almost got up and did a little dance on his behalf. I suppose that w do go off topic a lot during the weight loss chat and that means getting to know other members and so I do view them as 'friends' of sorts.

Our consultant does a talk about something, like how to eat out, then if there is time she does the one by one thing.

It's fab and really helpful. The first group I went to was not so good and far to focused on syns for processed foods.

The snorting noise thing is shocking!

I suppose like Midori says it depends on what works for you, the individual updates do motivate some and not others. Must say it didn't work for me last night, my mum and I were bored. I wanted the meetings to be more about people sharing recipes or ideas where I would go home inspired and think oh I'll cook that, or I will look for that "no syn" product etc.
Maybe as time goes on and you get to know other members it'll be more interesting to hear their losses - but as Monstrous says, at WW (also sorry to compare!) your target etc was private with the consultant - if someone (x 30!) says they are going to lose 2lb this week it doesn't really send me away inspired me to think oh well I will lose 2lb too.

Some of your own meetings do sound better though with the topics and the individual chat at the end, I'm hoping as time goes on and there's less new members etc to deal with it might be more like that. I used to really look forward to my WW meetings but I'm not looking forward to the next SW one at all, I came away from my first WW meeting buzzing and raring to go where as today I just feel meh, and like the meetings are going to be a chore rather than something to look forward to.

I went to my first SW meeting last Friday and thought exactly the same as you! When I used to go to WW the leader would spend about 5-10 minutes giving out any awards, mentioning a couple of people who had had an exceptional loss and then ask if anyone else wanted to share their loss or gain or how their week had gone. I couldn't believe when she went round every single member to announce their loss!
If all the meetings are the same then I'm going to have to start ducking out after weigh in as there's no way my 13 month old can behave herself for that long!

Pink, it an be chaotic with lots of new members, so maybe give it a few weeks and the if it doesn't work for you consider a different consultant? I've had five different consultants over the years and this is the only one I've loved and the only group I've enjoyed staying to. One of the others was ok, the rest were completely grim, two of them decidedly Margery Daws.

Ha yes I can agree with the Margery Daws thing, don't get me wrong the consultant was lovely but there was a bit of "oh Mary you've put on 2lb are you happy with that?" and Mary was happy because she'd been out lots over xmas etc and the consultant said to the group "oh she's happy with a gain haha well someone has to be" and it just all felt a bit wrong.

But yes hopefully it will get better!

Just been to margery Dawes group. I think I talked more than her in respect of what got eaten etc. Her hand terminal got stuck so couldn't do the who lost nothing talk. Also she has no concept of the SP plan what so ever!!
Here's to another week. X

I know what you mean, it does make it drag. I like the talk afterwards, but not going around everyone.
I pay 3mths in advance but just go for weigh-in once every 4 weeks or so, because I can't stand the individual progress bit.

One group I went to, had a brilliant leader she had a table of Christmas buffet food and got everyone to think about how many syns were in each product. Then revealed how many actually were in there and talked about healthy alternatives.

I have joined another group but the centre table is just a waste of space, I wish they would talk about healthy low syn savoury snacks of have some type of topic each weak.

I much prefer the style of Slimming World to WW. At the WW meetings I attended the individual conversations taking place at the scales meant that weigh in took the first hour of the hour and 30 mins of the session and the rest of us just left to amuse ourselves. The queue for weigh in was horrendous and people came later and later so made the issue worse.

I also found the 'talks' really patronising - I can remember one where I had waited about 50 mins for the talk and then we were told how many calories we could use up doing various types of activities (exercise/housework) I spent the whole talk thinking in the 50 mins I waited for this I could have done some exercise!

Slimming World style when done well makes you think throughout the week - is it worth having to admit to this on xxxday!

This is from experience of a number of WW and SW classes over the years!

I know do Rosemary Conley (or a class run in the same style after they went into administration last year) which does a weigh in - shares weight losses, quick chat and then does a 45 min exercise session!

Our previous leader was great. We moved house & the new one is more Marjorie Dawes. She's got her favourites & concentrates on them all session. DH & I just weigh & go now. I'm at target so only go once every 4 weeks. As soon as I get my diamond member award (12 months at goal) I'm quitting altogether as it shows I can cope 'alone'.

I think it's definitely worth trying a few different groups. Apart from the actual 'sharing' bit it's a brilliant way to meet people in a similar situation. Our group talk is a bit boring but the help hints and fun we have make up for it ?

I thought the same and expected a short talk giving advice on recipes etc .

The first week I lost 2lb and felt great. The second I didn't loose anything, and didn't fancy the 'what are you going to do to improve the situation' talk, so snuck out like a naughty schoolgirl. I'll try it for a couple more weeks and see if things improve, as I don't need to pay just for a weigh-in each week.