routine- is it just too early?

[kentishtown]

Hi, i'd love some advice on this: DD is just over 4 weeks old. 'm trying to get her into a vague routine, not strict GF like, but in a general sense so that I know whether i'm coming or going with her. the problem is come bedtime (7-8ish, after bath and feed)she often simply will not go to sleep. she's not particularly distressed, just wide awake, and will cry if left alone.
Is she just too young for a routine? or is the routine i'm trying to impose wrong in some way?
7 ish, wake, feed
8-9ish awake
10-11ish nap time till 12

12ish i wake her fo a feed (she's often fast asleep)

1pm i put her in the buggy and go out: she falls asleep

4pm -4.30 wake for feed
then i keep her awake till dad gets home 6ish

6-7ish bath
7 feed then try to put her down
7 till ? fail miserably to get her down!

if we succeed i then feed her at around midnight and then again at 3-4 am

suggestions/thoughts welcome!

I'd say it's much too early. The first three or so months are really just about getting used to the world. Small babies are instinctual creatures - you can't really find a routine with someone who doesn't quite have "behaviour" yet. They only start making associations from around 4 months.

I found a pattern emerging with DS1 around 4 months and then shaped it into something firmer. So, I noticed he'd nap around 9, then 12, then 3 and I just made sure we were home and ready for them when I saw him getting tired around these times. It worked well, and he is a creature of habit at 2.

DS2 is 4 months now and there is much less of a pattern, but that's partly because I don't have the same freedom to structure my world around a baby anymore. It just means a bit more effort I think.

At that age, I'd just go with the awake time thing - I think it's about an hour of awake time that they can handle before becoming overtired, which gradually becomes longer. Follow her cues - see when she gets that glassy eyed, middle distance stare, hands together at her chest. That usually means ready for a nap. Crying is already too late.

Totally agree with EmmyVonN, but just had a thought. My little one is 6 months now and has only just settled into a really good daytime nap routine, but she has always been vry good at her bedtime routine from about 4 weeks. What worked for us was bringing her bedtime forward to 6.00/6.30pm. If we waited until 7.00pm she was already overtired and upset and found it very difficult to settle. It does mean that her Daddy doesn't always get to see her at bedtime, but we felt it was worth it rather than her getting so overtired/crying and upset. Her daddy has a cuddle after her 10.00pm feed instead.
Might be worth a try it really worked for us and bedtimes are nice and calm. Hope this helps!

I think that's too early. And you might find it easier to allow her to find her own pattern for feeding and eating rather than waking her up all the time.

I agree it's a little bit early. Our lo used to cluster feed in the evenings- at say 6.30pm, 8.30pm and 10pm.

By around 7-8 weeks she had dropped the middle feed and started to go down no problem at 7pm until her dreamfeed at 10. I remember the first night we actually ate dinner without any interruptions- amazing!

I think it's worth trying to put your baby down after each feed, in the dark and in bed, because one day she'll just go down and stay down, and I think it's never too early to instil a sense of night and day. But if she won't go down, don't sweat it! Not worth getting stressed over at this point.

thanks a lot for all the above, very helpful

Have you had a look at the Babywhisperer? She would recommend a routine of Eating, Sleeping, Activity, and You!

Yes! bought it the day after i posted. things are going a lot better now I am following (more or less) the baby whisperer routine. also very helpful in realising a lot of the time she was just getting overtired.

I started a "sort of" routine at around 5 weeks when my 2nd son went into his own room....because he grew out of his moses basket and was a loud sleeper!! Some people might say its too soon, but it was right for us. For a couple of weeks, after bathtime, my husband would sort our eldest son out while I would take our 2nd son in to his darkened room, give him his bottle and stay with him until he'd gone to sleep. Each night he would cry...a lot...but I figured at least it was just in one room. If he'd been downstairs, crying for a while, everyone would be disturbed. I would sit next to his cot, comforting him, patting his back. After a couple of weeks of staying in his room for around 2 hours each night, he would settle, until it got to the point that he'd just have his milk, and go straight to sleep. He would then usually be settled for around 8pm, waking in the night once or twice for a feed, but in between we were all nice and calm and relaxed! Worth a try.