6 1/2 year old driving me potty

[hanreeoak]

My 6 year old still does not sleep, she takes ages to settle at night (going to bed at 8 then awake till 10/11) and keeps her brother and sister awake, and then will wake in the night and early in the morning.

She has always been a terrible sleeper, her siblings 4 and 18 months both sleep well. So I have not got a clue where I went wrong, she has bad eczema which does not help and takes medication for this, it used to make her sleepy but now has no effect.

I can not cope much longer with such little sleep its getting me depressed and making me crabby, any ideas would be gratefully received.

Haha, maybe you can't take credit for the other ones being "good" sleepers either!

I dunno what to say, my 6yo also doesn't sleep until 10pm, does she have blackout curtains? Do you try to tire her out (physically) most days?

I have a 5 yr old v similar. Stress over going to bed, wakes around 2am and then starts day at 5.30. Things had improved but now regressed completely. Wits end doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. I have always been the most calm laid back person and coped well for the first 3 years but I am thoroughly ashamed of the way I act towards DS in the night sometimes - can be aggressive and just overcome with rage.

How do you deal with it at the time Hanreeoak ? V interested as so few people seem to experience this.

Sometimes I am just in a daze, put up with her coming up and down the stairs all evening, and just generally humor through the night. Other times I am horrible (I'm just so tired) if I get crabby and cross she cries and then this wakes up her brother and sister which means them to settle too.

I'm quite laid back too but being so tired turns me in to a b sometimes I snap at my husband (good job he just ignores me), it ends up being a viscous circle, no sleep - exhausted - can't be bothered to tidy/cook - get depressed due to state of house - feel guilty about feeding them crap - which then makes her sleep worse.

It does get me so down. As its hard to function with no kip. Don't feel ashamed just walk away when you feel yourself out of control, I go into the bathroom and clean my teeth that seems to work for me. My husband is no help at night and I feel bad about asking him to help as I don't work and he does.

I know what you mean about leaving the house/feeding them crap when you're too tired to do anything else. I was SAHM but went back to work part time as I was getting depressed...strangely work helps me to cope as I don't have the option of not doing anything on those days and can therefore feel productive.

DS just woke up crying and screaming about half an hour ago, I went up, he had no requests, no issues, although he uses a panicky voice and scared cry to get me up there, he was completely calm when I went in - its just a habit now (we went away in the easter hols and the change in routine meant he slept all night every night). The worst wake up in the 2am one as then I'm in a really deep sleep and he is at his most demanding and shouts the house down when I refuse to stay in his room indefinately. He has the option of coming to sleep on a spare mattress in our room but refuses to do that too - when he's really belligerent I make him sleep on that as he hates it but it sends the message that we need our rest and if he needs company then he has to come to us. He does then though cry for about an hour that he wants to go back to his own room - its just so bloody relentless!

We do reward charts and if he really wants something (like a trip to the beach) he will sleep but this only works periodically and is so infuriating because it makes it harder to be sympathetic.

It makes me cross because I want to be the kind of parent who goes up in the night, gives them a reassuring cuddle when they need it. I can do this with DS2 but with DS1 any niceness turns into a rod for my own back.

Sorry I have really gone on but there are so few people to talk to about sleep problems in older children. Most people in RL just say...have you tried black out blinds or a night light as if in 5 years we haven't thought of such things, or 'I wouldn't put up with that' which is the worst because my behaviour at night sometimes makes me worried exactly what I would need to do to not put up with it. I have smacked and I have held his little face in both hands and shouted so loudly within an inch of his face out of sheer exhaustion. Ours is a house filled with such love during the day that this makes me feel thoroughly sick with shame. At the moment it is my behaviour I need to tackle more than his.

I can understand exactly how you are feeling, I have been told by friends that I should just leave her to scream. I can't. She has eczema and will just rip at herself or make herself sick, sometimes its like she changes into another person screaming etc. Its so not nice.

Our house is pretty relaxed and happy during the day and my kids are really well behaved (I think anyway) but as soon as its bedtime it all changes. We have never brought her into our room, a few years ago I used to sleep on her floor (mad I know!!!) and reward charts are the same for us too she gets bored with them. Last night she did sleep but it took her ages to settle, I worry the most about her school work as her teacher has said that she is exhausted.

I took her to the docs a while ago as she would not get changed at gym and was being a real pain and I got really cross, it was so not me but the lack of sleep drove me to be a cow. The doc was great and gave us some antihistamine for her eczema which should make her drowsy, that did work for a while but I really don't like the idea of her taking meds to help her sleep.

I have a whole library of 'how to get your child to sleep' books. We are moving soon and hopefully can borrow enough cash to build another room onto the house so then she will have her own room, I don't know if that will help, but at least her sister will get some peace.

Can you get a break at all and let someone else sort him out? My parents have been really good and had her for the occasional night - she is really bad when she comes home tho, but at least I have had some sleep and can cope with her.

Go on as much as you like, I don't think people can understand just how exhausting it is not to get sleep. you can't function and its make you feel so ill. It is nice to chat to someone who is experiencing the same problem as me, if I talk to people they either think I am exaggerating or lying. It might help to put your feelings down, it has me.

Here's to a good night tonight