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Sleep

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Why is sleep so often used as the yardstick of "good" parenting?

29 replies

cantthinkofagoodname · 01/07/2010 10:11

As the first time mother of a lovely DD with horrendous sleep issues, I've encountered so many times smug or judgemental attitudes from others. Case in point - yesterday I was driving a neighbour home. She was sitting in the back next to 14wk old DD. DD was having a meltdown through overtiredness.

Neighbour: Oh she's having a right tantrum, isn't she?
Me: she's very tired.
Neighbour: No she can't be otherwise she'd go to sleep. She's doing it for attention.
Me:she won't sleep unless she's in the sling.
Neighbour: She's playing you. She just wants you to pick her up.
5 mins later, arriving home and putting DD into sling. DD immediately stops crying.
Neighbour triumphantly: See! I told you it was for attention!

The same neighbour has also put on a child's voice when I put DD into the sling and said £don't tie me up mum!" She has also told me I should use a pram so DD can look around. Never mind that a) looking around is one of the ways DD fights sleep, and b) she can see perfectly werll in the sling.

Also yesterday I went to a child's birthday party on our street. I was quizzed repeatedly by some of the other mothers about why I was so often walking around with DD in a sling, the implication being that I'm some sort of nutter. Znother mother on our street is convinced its because I'm screwing up with the bfing and not feeding DD enough (she's leaping up the centiles!)

My partner has been quizzed about why she's not attending a late night party of a colleague. She explained that it was because she goes to bed early to compensate for the night wakings. The colleasgue said "Is she STILL not sleeping through?, you want to get her on formula!"

I jusr needed to vent as its bad enough being severely sleep deprived without feeling people (with perfect babies) are judging you too.

Has anyone else had smug / snide comments?

OP posts:
pagwatch · 04/07/2010 12:50

Pag goes to sew
Ignore. Smile sweetly. Do your own thing.
into a sampler

ReasonableDoubt · 04/07/2010 12:52

lol!

babyboyjoy · 05/07/2010 07:11

You poor thing, why do other Mothers do that!? I would just take a deep breathe and wait...my baby slept 10 and a half hours for a long time but then it all changed, so there'a a good chance it will for this particular person and her baby too. Just make sure you're there and ready when she has only had 2 hours sleep due to her baby waking at silly o clock during the hungry stage, sympathise with her while inwardly, smuggly smiling.x.

babyboyjoy · 05/07/2010 07:16

Sorry, it's early and I've had little sleep! so I just realised maybe your neighbour doesn't have a baby right now, but anyway, you get my point. I hate anyone comparing babies, when they are so young like yours, you just do what you can to make them as contented as possible, Mother's instinct is a wonderful thing, I'm sure It will all come good in time.x.

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