Just how mean is this?

[Daffodilly]

DD is 3.5 and usually good at going down at bedtime until last 6-8 weeks. Increasingly calling us back in and/or getting out of bed and coming downstairs. Don't believe anything is "wrong" just wants the extra attention.

We've tried silent return, reasoning, bribes, threats, etc.

DH suggested a new plan last night. We explained that after she goes to bed she needs her rest and it is Mum & Dad's time. So when she came downstairs we just ignored her. She alternated crying for attention and then calming down and reasonably asking for random things wee/drink/cuddle. We carried on as if she wasn't there. She eventually (20 mins or so) got bored and took herslf to bed. Spoke to her about it today and she didn't seem too worried about our ignoring her (no obvious psycological damage so far). She confirmed that she understood it was our time, she'd had her bedtime and had taken herself back to bed.

However, this eve we repeated same pattern. Possibly she returned herself back to bed slightly sooner.

It is AGONY for me to ignore her crying and pleas for attention. On the other hand I want my evenings back! So how bad do you think this is as a plan????

If it's working, which it sounds like it is, then it's fine. It's just ignoring behaviour you don't want. I do it with my 4 year old when he whinges. I just say I can't hear him when he speaks in that voice.

Thanks bibbyhippy. I feel like being back at school doing that whole "silent treatment" thing and fretting about what she'll tell her therapist in 30 yrs time!

What time does she go to bed? My DD is 3.2 and goes up at 7pm. I am finding that some days she stalls like your DD or lays in bed singing for ages so I am wondering if I should keep her up for a bit longer?

Has this co-incided with a change in sleeping pattern during the day?

As far as a plan goes, I'd also do anything that worked but would be the same about sitting there ignoring her.....I'm always the first to give in here!!

She goes up about 7 - 7.30PM. Claims she isn't tired/can't sleep. But I don't buy it based on her behaviour - plus she is then sleeping 12 hours from whenever she finally goes to bed. Doesn't seem related to day time sleeps particularly (rarely has one nowadays).