why oh why won't she just sleep?

[cantthinkofagoodname]

I have a 13 week old DD. She was always a poor sleeper - refused to sleep in moses basket / crib / sidecar cot from about 3 weeks old so we now cosleep on a double mattress on the floor of what will be her room. Poor DP joins us on a lilo!

She was waking up a lot, screaming and having green poo. I gave up dairy (she's bf) and everything settled down. No more green poo and for 2 magic nights ahe slept for 5 hours before waking for the first feed!

We thought we'd found the answer. Not so. Still no more green poo, but for the last three weeks, sleep has got progressively worse and last night went like this:

7:00 bath, massage, clean clothes, nappy.
7:30 bf to sleep (she won't settle any other way, and refuses dummy) whilst dp reads story.
8:15 asleep in my arms. (refuses nipple lying down) I hold her in the manner of a live bomb.
8:30 when sure she's properly asleep, I gently put her down next to me. A bit of arm flailing, but she settles.
8:40 wakes up SCREAMING and frantically looking for my nipple, inconsolable except for more BF
9:10 asleep
9:30 attempt to put down again. Same thing happens.
10:00 finally asleep on mattress next to me.
12:30 wakes up. SCREAMS for 4 hours.
4:00 By now tearful and desperate, I put her in sling and walk streets
5:00 sleeping baby transferred from sling to mattress. Gratefully I lie next to her and sleep
7:30 baby wakes grinning and happy to start new day. I sob into my pillow.

She seems to be teething (sucking hand, red gums, drooling, chewing on my nipples!) and we've been giving her calpol and teething gel before bed in case she's in pain. We also took her for her first session of cranial osteopathy on Weds and the osteopath said she might be unsettled for a couple of days following it.

She won't sleep at all in the day unless she's in the sling being walked about and patted hard on back (will just scream in pushchair) or, rarely, if we put the hoover on she might nod off in her carseat (but will wake as soon as hoover is turned off). Whenever she's awake for more than about half an hour in the day she screams. She won't sleep in the car.

I'm knackered, what with having so little sleep and being forced to tramp the streets with a 16lb baby strapped to me all bloody day.

Can somebody please help before I sell her on ebay?

Both my DD hated sleeping when put down during the day - got an automatic swing chair for a fiver on Ebay. It takes up a bit of space but worth it - they both sleep after about 5 mins rocking & never yell in it even when awake. "The Device" as DH likes to call it allows me & now elder daughter to eat linch in peace.

Also maybe you have a night owl & you're trying to put her to bed too early - after all she's quite young for remembering / learning a routine - all she cares about atm is boob & hugs. DD1 used to sit on my lap on the sofa whilsrtwe watched tv & feed a lot til 11:30pm / midnight - would then sleep for 2 x 4 hour periods with a quick feed in the middle til she was almost a year. Now at almost 4 she still stays up for supper with us then goes to bed at 9pm & sleeps through til 8-ish. DD2 (who;s 10 weeks) doesn't fall asleep properly til about 10pm, then wakes every 4 hours for feed & regains alertness at about 8am too. No point in ruining your evenibg til she's old enough to learn a routine - but that's just my opinion.

Would definately recommend a swing chair though. Good luck

A white noise CD (hoover sound) played quite loudly and close by will more than likely work. DD3 used to be a poor sleeper too. I remembered how DD2 used to fall asleep with the hoover on, so I purchased one of these CDs. It worked straight away. The only downside is that if used constantly your DD will get to the age of three and still demand you put her cd on before she goes to sleep

thanks for the suggestions. I'll look out for a chair on ebay. The problem is we've spent £££ already on this issue (£200 sidecar crib she won't sleep in, cranial osteopathy, slumber bear that made her cry harder etc)and haven't got a lot of cash left.

We've got a hoover noise cd and have tried playing it at varying volumes all night, but she won't settle to it at all - only the actual dyson will do!

This may sound a bit mad but it worked for us. Try putting her down when she is sleepy but not asleep (when she gets a sort of glazed expression). My lo often falls asleep while breastfeeding before bed too. When I put her down asleep, she sometimes wakes up and cries. When I gently wake her before putting her down (I know how insane this sounds...), or if she hasn't fallen asleep in the first place, I put her in awake and she drifts off in a few minutes and never cries. I stay in the room for a minute sorting out her stuff and maybe this helps. If she does cry we don't get her out, just sit with a hand on her tummy and shush. Up to 50 shushes seems to do the trick by recent counts!

Others on here swear by Pick Up Put Down (Baby Whisperer I think) but I've not tried it.

Don't spend too much on a swing chair thingy - or see if you can borrow one first. I borrowed one for DS and thought it was The Answer when he liked it at first. But he wasn't keen on it for long.

This may not be much consolation but I found your description of the night very funny, having been there myself I guess. It really is dire I know.

He's 2 now and it feels like a distant memory even though he doesn't sleep particularly well now.

At the time, I think I just hung on in there. I pushed the dummy quite hard through desperation and 'convinced' him he loved it in the end. That helped. He also was happier all round when he started eating solids - the happiness mostly occurred actually at meal times, but still it was something.

Zombified

I tried what you suggested last night - as soon as she pulled off my boob asleep I laid her down. She immediately woke up and started crying, so I put my arm round her and my hand on her tummy. She fussed for about 20 mins in a pissed off sort of way, but then fell asleep!! She didn't get hysterical or start screaming, just little fussy cries. I tried it to settle her after every night feed and by the end of the night she was settling much faster. Also she didn't do the whole waking up sporadically thing,frantically looking for my nipple - instead she seemed to wake and fuss until I laid my hand back on her tummy, which is more convenient for me!

Is this a developmental thing? Planets aligned correctly last night? or is the cranial osteopathy actually working? Who knows, and quite frankly who cares!

Hurrah!! Really pleased for you!

I think Zombified gave you good advice there. With both of mine the secret was let them settle themselves with help form me and they soon got he hang of it. Be wary of too much white noise as I read this article which said it can be harmful. Keep trying to let her settle herself and I'm sure her sleep will improve! x

Good advice from Zombified.

When my DD, 4 mo, wakes up in the night, often a hand on her chest, quite firmly, will send her back off after only a short while.