3+ week old baby will not settle to sleep

[clearlycrystal74]

I am at my wits end and getting really worried... My daughter (first child) is just over three weeks old and will not fall asleep on her own, ever. Even though she must be tired she screams the house down when put down in her moses basket and this can go on for hours with myself or my husband making repeated trips to try to comfort her (picking up and rocking, putting soother back in, stroking/shusshing, etc.). Is this normal?? We are really starting to suffer from lack of sleep! Additionally I am getting really worried (make that terrified!) about how I am going to manage when husband leaves in a few days to work abroad as it just is not feasible to live with a baby constantly attached to me (I do need to shower, eat, do laundry, etc.) in addition to the seemingly neverending battle to get her to sleep. She will not be put down anywhere without screaming and won't stop until she is picked up again. Has anyone else had anything similar and if so how did you manage? I am getting desparate!

ruddynorah... We're bottle feeding. And when she wakes up at night we feed her. And then commence the sleeping battle. By the time we get her to sleep it's almost time for the next feed Believe me, when she wakes up for her feed you know about it and she wants her food immediately - there is no middle ground in that area!

I'm really worried about co-sleeping. She does settle quite well laying tummy down on my chest in the night time which would mean that we could both get some sleep but I am so scared of her rolling off and suffocating etc.

Well, vacuum cleaner only works while its running

I agree with everything everyone else has said both of mine were exactly the same it is perfectly normal.

The poster (sorry cannot remember who it was) that said when you stop trying to find ways to get her to sleep and accept this as normal it actually becomes instantly easier rather than putting so much pressure on yourself and her to go to sleep.
Not only will your perspective change but you will feel less stressed and mithered and hopefully she wil too.

Oh and you should have seen some of the scrobatics I did while trying to put my 2 down at that age dangling over the end of my bed into cots and moses basket trying to gradually let go of a finally sleeping baby without them actually noticing I was letting go and trying to sneakily slide my arms out from under them just to get time to go to the toilet.

Same here Ineedacleaner... And then that sinking feeling when the eyes go popping wide open.

Oh I remember it well but honestly it does pass so quickly and then they start doing cute things like smile and giggle and honestly you wonder what all the stress was about.
It can't be that bad i'm waiting on the arrival anytime now (hopefully please soon) arrival of my 3rd.

Crystal my DS spent most of his first 3 months sleeping like that on me at night. I used to sleep sitting up! Then I used to try and put him down every now and then and finally he got used to it.

I found that he got overtired very easily so had to catch him before he got too wired. otherwise we'd pay for it at night where he couldn't sleep for hours. It took a couple of weeks and he fell into a routine at about 8 weeks (although it changes all the time!!)

Oh - and if you can manage to get any clothes on (both you and the baby) then a quick walk round the block in the pram? Amazing what a bit of fresh air can do.

And don't worry; you're doing fine and the baby loves you so much if s/he just wants to lie on you the whole time!

Thanks AD , likewise.

crystal I did the same as Igglybuff - propped myself up with pillows and let DD sleep on my chest as it was the only way she would sleep for the first few weeks. I had her in the wrap sling so I didn't have to worry about her slipping off me. Very lightly, I might add and it's not entirely recommended, but it worked for us. Also meant I could get up and go to the loo without disturbing her too much (!)

Hey my DD was exactly the same at 3 weeks and still the same at 14 weeks. Some little ones need the closeness more than others...did you haave a difficult birth? I cant put dd down to sleep at all, she sleeps on me for all day time naps, i BF her led down at night (we co-sleep) and she will not fall asleep in car without lots of crying and a white noise cd. Pushchairs are out of the question....she screams, so she goes everywhere in a sling. I was like you for first 3 weeks, then I found the confidence to think she will be ok in bouncer when i shower and dress, she now sees that as part of our morninbg routine. Things r easier now, dont be hard on yourself, make the most of trying to rest too xx

My views on looking after little babies? When in doubt, feed them. At this age they are looking either for food or comfort - and feeding tehm covers both bases. It doens't matter if you feed her to sleep - you won't be doing it for ever - and the chances are she is hungry anyway - she's got a minute stomach and a lot of growing to do!

My DD was the same at that age and my saviour was putting DD in her pram to nap - strategically timed for when I was putting the washing machine on - it did wonders for keeping her to sleep, esp the loud spin-cycle

For bedtime, I invested in a while noise machine - much better than a CD IMO and there are different sounds and you can either leave it on, or there is a timer to switch itself off in 15, 30 and 60 min intervals... She settled into a (bedtime)routine at 8 weeks and I leave the 'rain' setting on once I have settled her down for the night and it keeps going until she is in a deep sleep. I still use this now at 14 weeks and will continue to do so until she no longer needs it.

It really does get easier as they get older