Cry or cuddle..how do you settle your young babies??

[steph1512]

I have 2dds my first is 4 2mo and my second is just2.

I also have ds 12weeks.

He isnt the best at settling bless him not unusual for this age i know. Think i was prob spoilt with my first two as they both setlled from and early age and had a 7ish bedtime by 3mth ish!

I would like to start to impliment some kind of routine for my ds at bedtime soon. But if i put him straight down after his evening feed im pretty sure he would just scream!

Maybe i should stay with him and go with it for a few nights??

Or should i carry on with his current night time routine. Which is down with me in the evening with cuddling rocking sleeping in sling etc until i go to bed! I would like a little me time in the eveing.

So wondered how you choose to settle your little ones in the evening. is 12wk too young to leave to cry a little..obviously still staying close by and reassuring

Prepare for an onslaught of strong opinions. Personally I think 12 weeks is way too young for any crying. You'll get plenty of me time in a few months but he needs you just now.

cuddle cuddle cuddle. end of.

definatelt not crying. i think indeed you may have been spoilt with good settlers - my ds was the worst sleeper in the world and i am still cuddling to sleep at 26 months!

yes, 12 weeks is too young to let him cry.

I am expecting some strong opinions but thats why i love/ couldnt live without mumsnet

I dont mean control crying or anything just maybe putting him in his basket upstairs and staying with him until he settles.

Think i def was lucky with my dds esp dd2 as she found her fingers at an early age so was always happy to sleep alone.

kalo aww bless your ds ..you must have strong arms lol..my ds already seems to give me arm ache with the rocking

we co sleep now . he has had his own double bed since 12 months because i just needed to lie down eventually.

Cuddle. I can't listen to babies crying, I find it gut wrenching.

I lie with DS2 on the bed, he likes to be in touching distance to know I am there, and its a lot easier on the arms than rocking. Sometimes he grabs my hand and fingers to hold onto as he goes to sleep.

cuddle. and cosleep.

Depends on the type of crying. If it's a bit of fussing or "tension release" crying, some babies need to do a little of that before they settle.

But if the crying quickly gets louder or more energetic, then that's the last thing you want - it'll make him harder to settle (as well as being generally upsetting)

No harm in trying to put a routine in place, it doesn't have to involve crying. Will he settle with a dummy, for example? After the feed, maybe cuddle and rock a little longer until he seems relaxed enough to be put down? You could always pick him up again if he starts to cry. But if you keep trying, he may get the idea eventually.

On the other hand, if he really won't, just do what it takes to get him to sleep and give you peace of mind, even if you have to have him with you all evening. After all, TTSP!
(This Too Shall Pass)

Cuddle, cuddle, cuddle. In the grand scheme of things, cuddling a baby for a few months is not a big deal. Find other ways to get me time - your baby needs you in the evenings at the moment. It won't be forever.

I agree with IC ([grin}) worth seeing if he will go down, you never know, but I couldn't leave a baby to cry. My dd3 is fed to sleep on my knee in the evening after the other 2 have gone to bed. I used to just go to bed with her when I wanted to go to sleep.

I know what you mean about wanting own space, but dd is now 5 months and I'm just starting to be able to put her down around 8.30 till 10ish which I'm really excited about!!! They are small for such a short time, in a weird sort of way I'm making the most of it!

!

I tried this when my DD was about 8/9 weeks old. I was keeping her up with me in the evening, downstairs watching Tv and feeding cuddling. She became quite fussy in the evenings which I thought was just evening fussiness that is mentioned a lot. What she was actually trying to tell me was that she needed to go to bed!

I implemented a routine (bath, feed, cuddle in darkened bedroom), but if you haven't always got time to do the full routine, I sometimes just give her a face/hand wash and a clean nappy, that seems to do the trick. I put her in her moses basket awake but very drowsy, she does the last bit herself. She sometimes fusses and whinges, but if she ever escalates to full-on crying I pick her up, if not just pat/shush seems to do the trick. From day one of me doing this, she has been sleeping at least 6 hours straight, so she is obviously happier, and so am I .

You have to just do what's right for your LO I suppose, but I would highly recommend a 'bedtime routine' as it gives them the signal that it is bedtime.

Cuddles for us, 15mth and still cuddling, not rocking just hold him til asleep, Love it its the only time i get cuddles!