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Sleep

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Original poster

Sigh, am going to have to put 18week old DD in her own room aren't I?

20 replies

Thandeka · 14/06/2010 08:04

Last night went something like this:

12pm
DD: Wiggle wriggle wah wah
Me: Wake up- ah ha time for a feed (bit early but we are in 4month sleep regression territory), oh hang on no she's not quite awake yet- will give her 10mins
(10mins later)
DD: Wriggle wriggle wah wah
Me: Right now its time- oh hang on no still asleep! Right well am defo leaving her asleep as she needs to lengthen the gap and get back to 5hourly night feeds instead of the two we have been having recently.

12.30am:
DD:Wriggle wriggle wah wah
Me: Getting fed up now- nope STILL asleep

1am:
DD: Wah wah wah
Me: (exasperated) You are crying wolf now

2.30am
DD: Wah then Silence
Me: Boobs full after a week of feeds at 8,10, 12,2 so have to go pump her feed- get 5oz.

3am: Try and dreamfeed her the 5oz so she won't wake up wanting food after I just get back to sleep.

3.30am- madam wide awake - tummy full, try breastfeeding her back to sleep (fairly empty boobs but it may work for the comfort)

4am- its not working

4.30am DD and me in tears (I have been awake for 4.5hours now). Wake DH up from spare room and make him swap places so I can get some sleep and not be woken when he gets up at 6am.

5am can still hear DD crying through wall (and earplugs) put pillow over my head.

6.45am- get up and check DD- she isn't there! DH has moved her into living room in bouncer- she is fast asleep and still is as I write this!

Gah! Am soo fed up. I do wear earplugs to have her sleep next to me but I can still hear her and last night was ridiculous. I think we both would have got a lot more sleep if she wasn't in with me. Yes it would be a complete pain to get out of bed and probably have to breastfeed her sitting up instead of just rolling her onto the boob as we do now but I really can't take anymore false alarms!
I really wanted to keep her in with me for the full 6months at least and I do love having her in with me, but the lack of sleep is affecting how well I can care for her in the day- I am just so grumpy and too knackered to take her out and do stuff (despite knowing it would prob make her sleep better!)

What to do!?

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Original poster

Thandeka · 14/06/2010 08:05

oops by bouncer I mean Amby's nest!

OP posts:

Intergalactic · 14/06/2010 08:13

Why not try feeding her as soon as she stirs, and she might settle down without waking up? Maybe by leaving her to wake fully it's taking longer for her to settle back down too? I always fed mine when he stirred - I didn't get loads of sleep but we got there eventually, and think I'm taking the same route with DC2.

Also, I wouldn't bother expressing just because your boobs are full - just wear a sleep bra and breast pads to stop leaks.

Original poster

Thandeka · 14/06/2010 08:20

Yeah that's what I had been doing but that had led to three or four night feeds and me waking up after she had been on the boob for 3 hours (!) and putting her back in her cot only for her to wake up and start screaming because she was deprived of the warmth and human dummy. So I supect I had been putting her on the boob when she didn't really need it.

I can't sleep at all with full boobs, I don't wear a bra most of the time as find them too uncomfortable but thankfully I don't leak that often. Once DD shows any sort of pattern in her sleep I wouldn't express - in the hope that my boobs would adjust to not being full at that time if DD was asleep- but at the min 2.30am is often feed time for her so I decided to express the feed off, maybe next time I will just express off enough to be comfortable and to get back to sleep.

OP posts:

LoveBeing34 · 14/06/2010 08:31

Tbh it was about this time that my dd went into her own room, I know that us against advice. She would wake when we went to bed and if either if us needed to go to the lou, plus dh has to get up for work very early. To be fair though she wasn't any further away from me as her bedroom was next to us and her cot on the wall that our bed was, so she was sleeping next to my head, just that there was a wall between. Idid even gave the monitor on as well. She then slept through the night within weeks. I had a chair in there to feed, and found it easier not to nod off when feeding.

Bucharest · 14/06/2010 08:37

Might she be having a growth spurt?

I wouldn't put a baby in their own room at that age.

Intergalactic · 14/06/2010 08:42

Hmmm - I am of the school of thought that if baby wants warmth and human dummy then go with it - which resulted in DS1 moving out of our room for good a week after DS2 was born (we got him a big bed so that we can lie with him in his room to settle him). So probably my advice isn't going to work for you.

GetThePartyStarted · 14/06/2010 09:10

I have no idea, but if you find a solution, please let me know! My DS is doing the whole sleep regression/growth spurt (19 weeks too) and it is an absolute nightmare. The thing is, his feeds are always so quick I'm not certain if he is having a full feed or just using me as a dummy, so I don't want to remove feeds.
He's dropping centiles for weight while leaping them for height, so I worry about him being underfed.

I just can't face getting up 5+ times a night to trek to his room, feed him and them settle him so he is still in with me, but I'm worried he's getting too used to sleeping next to the boob (bedside cot).

I'm clinging onto the hope that in two short months he will magically go back to sleeping through/one feed.

somethinganything · 14/06/2010 09:34

You're going to be horrified but I moved DD2 into her own room at about 9 weeks. I know that's not the advice but she is such a noisy sleeper and I just couldn't sleep even when she did. If you make sure your monitor is on sensitive mode you'll hear everything anyway ? I always go in the minute I hear her so it doesn't mean I'm meeting her needs any less as far as I can see it. It does mean that I've fallen asleep in the rocking chair in her room on many a night but on the whole it works a lot better for us. But you need to do whatever feels comfortable for you so if you're feeling unsure about it maybe wait a while. Good luck

InmaculadaConcepcion · 14/06/2010 09:47

Intergalactic and GetThePartyStarted sounds like our DCs are of the same mould... I have the same hope, GTPS, but suspect it will be in vain...

Thandeka, you could always get a breathing monitor as well if you're worried about that aspect of your LO not being in the same room... I've got a Respisense tummy monitor (even though she's right beside me...over-anxious mum!!) and I've been pretty pleased with it.

tinks27 · 14/06/2010 10:09

put mine in her own room at 9 weeks too..she was fine. IMO - each to their own of course - but 18 weeks is old enough.
When we did it,i had the monitor glued to my ear for a few weeks.!! .but got a lot more sleep.And suddenly it was 1 feed a night.. not numerous...as before when she made a bit of noise and i would slap her on the boob thinking she must be hungry.

CakeandRoses · 14/06/2010 10:19

Not sure you'll get any more sleep if she's in her own room TBH, you'll just have to get out of bed to go into her when she does wake up.

We kept DS in our bedroom with us until he was seven months and there was zero difference in the amount of sleep we got before and after he moved into his own room.

stressheaderic · 14/06/2010 10:22

Put DD in own room at 13 weeks (3 weeks ago). We've all slept better ever since. She moves around a lot in the night and so do we, no use us all disturbing each other.

She's slept through for 12 hours straight since 10 weeks so I'm dreading the 4 month growth spurt/sleep regression!

tinks27 · 14/06/2010 10:31

stressheaderic - we didn't have one and it carried on as normal..so keep your fingers and toes crossed and you may be ok

Original poster

Thandeka · 14/06/2010 10:38

I always meet her needs with warmth/boob when she wants it. Issue was last night I was kept awake for 3hours when she didn't want it!

She has a habit at the minute of crying out in her sleep which instantly wakes me up as I am very tuned into her.

I know the guidelines say 6months but the SIDS risk drops massively at 4months.

The room she would be going into is very close to our room- with both doors open it would be about 5steps to her cot so about the same as if she was in same room and obviously I wouldn't wear earplugs if she was in another room (also the room is much darker (doesn't get the morning sun) so we may be able to get more sleep if the light doesnt wake her up.

Hmmm we have cranial osteopathy today so will see if that affects her sleep at all and keep her where she is for time being- but if she keeps waking me up but being asleep herself she has to go! If she keeps waking me up but is awake herself and needs me then obviously she can stay!

OP posts:

Igglybuff · 14/06/2010 12:21

Silly question but if she's in her own room and you have the monitor on, will you sleep any better?

I used to cosleep and when DS woke loads, I'd hardly wake as just stick a boob in. Once I put him in his cot in our room (about 4 months) I slept worse as I had to wake up more to feed.

Then he started going longer stretches - and I'd lie there as you did waiting for him to wake. So I started sleeping in the next room leaving him alone. However as I was so used to him waking all the time, my body took time to adjust to sleeping longer stretches it made no difference.

In fact I find I sleep better now I'm in the room with him as I'm used to his noises now and know which ones mean he's going to wake. Also I'm used to sleeping for longer than 2 hours at a time!

I guess i'm suggesting you give it a couple more nights and you might adjust and get used to it again?

HoopsAndBaby · 14/06/2010 22:36

Another one here who has put DS in his own room and he's 10 weeks, he is a really noisy sleeper and we both sleep better now I have a monitor so I can hear him when he wakes but he has been sleeping through for about 3 weeks now.........

I know the guidelines say 6 months but if SIDS is going to happen then there is nothing you can do to stop it, I don't smoke, he has a dummy and he has been breastfed since day 1 so have kept to the guidelines in that respect.

CakeandRoses · 14/06/2010 23:26

I think the 6 months thing is because SIDs actually less likely to happen if they're with you than by themselves rather than the fact you'd be able to stop it, iyswim? Maybe because they don't sleep so deeply when they can hear you moving around/Dh snoring etc.

I'm not judging those who move their babies before then, by the way.

CarGirl · 14/06/2010 23:29

If you decide to go down the seperate monitor route then you have the monitor the other way around so she can hear you IYSWIM.

I couldn't sleep sharing a room, every squeak and I was wide awake whilst they were sleeping!

Original poster

Thandeka · 15/06/2010 08:24

Well she has had a reprieve as last night instead of sleeping right next to her I slept nearer to DH's side of the bed with my earplugs in. (DH is in spare rm on week nights). meant i could hear her when she woke (4am not bad!) but not get woken by her rustling on the waterproof matress- so we shall see how it goes......

We don't really have a room to put her in til we move anyway...

hmmm

OP posts:

LifeOfKate · 15/06/2010 21:22

I was determined to share with DS until he was 6 months, due to SIDS risk, but was absolutely desperate by about 18/19 weeks, so I moved back into my own room (had been co-sleeping in double bed in spare room up til that point so as not to disturb very light sleeper DH, who is working).
It worked almost instantly, he went from waking every hour (and waking me every hour) to waking once or twice a night, and the occasional sleep through. I have a monitor so I can hear him when he needs me. I am a much nicer person with all the extra sleep I'm getting! Sometimes it's just a choice between 2 unattractive options. Thankfully the own room option worked for us.

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