Mum not waking up when babies cry a night

[DartmouthDelia]

Over the last few nights I have not woken up when my babies have been crying - my partner has to give me a shove. Then when I do try and feed them I fall asleep. I have had twins and they are now 7 weeks old - and both wake in the night for a feed/warmth/cuddle at different times.

I am getting more and more worried as night time approaches that I will not wake up if they are in distress. Has anyone else been through this?

Hi Delia, I went through this when my DS was about that age. I remember feeling obscurely guilty that DH always heard him before I did, as though my motherly instincts weren't working properly. Bollocks. I was just completely knackered beyond knackered. And you have two! You have my sympathy and admiration.

My only advice would be to try to get some sleep wherever possible - not easy I know. Could you express some milk before you go to bed so your DP can do some of the night feeds? Also make it as easy as possible for yourself to get up to them in the night. I didn't feel comfortable co-sleeping but pushed the cot up next to the bed so I didn't have to get out of bed to pick them up.

My sister has twins and she woke one up when the other woke up and fed them both, they got into this routine so she didn't need to be up with them at different times. Not sure how easy this is though as I don't have first hand experience.

Don't worry about it.

In our house it was a family joke that my Mum never woke up when any of us were ill. It was always my Dad. He was just a lighter sleeper.

You are probably just so tired from the first weeks, give yourself time.

Oh, and congratulations on the birth of your twins. Are they boys or girls?

You could have a low iron count. Worth having it checked with GP.

I'm on my second DS now and had the same worries when I had my first. Over time I have realised that I wake when mine cry and really need me - if they are crying quietly in their sleep i sleep through even if they are in bed with me.

DH wakes at every wimper and ends up waking them and me.

Thanks for all of your messages - and sympathies! I took your advice and went straight to bed for a nap, and am now taking my iron supplement - ( I have been so tired I had forgotten to take it for the last few weeks).

I'll try not to feel so bad about sleeping through the racket. I guess the good side of it is is that the boys don't seem to wake each other even tho' they are side by side in the cot and the crier is really awake and feeds quickly when he eventually gets the goods.....

Oh my word. Not waking up?! You're just exhausted. Sleep as much as you can and I think biscuitsandbandages has a point there... whimpers etc don't need to be responded to at night time. But obviously crying does.

My DH kicks me if the LOs are crying at night. They are much older mind you (1 and 4) so no reason why he can't go and see what's wrong!

Don't worry about it - you're exhausted. Can your DP bring them to you when they need feeding? And do some of the cuddling himself to ease the tiredness?

Congratulations

Hi DartmouthDelia. I had this problem too and it terrified me - especially the falling asleep while feeding part. Don't beat yourself up - you need time to adjust and recover your strength. Make sure your DH stays awake while you're feeding so you don't have to be so worried.

Congratulations! You are doing a sterling job and don't forget it! Can remember being so tired I fell asleep with DD in my arms when DD was that age. I still fall asleep feeding in bed with her now, it is the hormones that enable you to produce milk, they have a relaxant effect. Add to that the fact that you are feeding two little'uns it is no wonder you are exhausted. There is nothing wrong with DP waking up and bringing them to you then putting them back down if you have fallen asleep feeding them and they are finished. My DH often does this because DD likes to kick him in her sleep (doesn't kick me though!)

I think you'd wake up if they were crying because they were distressed / ill as opposed to a grizzle.

That's what my mum always said to me anyway when I was saying I think I'd slept through some crying.

If your DH can elbow you he can bring them to you.

You're shattered. Don't worry, if they really need you they will make sure you can hear them.
And sleep, sleep, sleep whenever you can.

And congratulations!

Oh I feel for you, it's so tiring! You are doing brilliantly to manage with two. I have one 8 week little boy and I have recently slept through his crying too. I think I've reached exhaustion/ melt-down point as I also fall asleep while feeding him. I now take him into his nursery to feed him in a chair resting on a widgy feeding cushion because I was worried about falling asleep and suffocating him in bed!

The compromise I have reached with DH is that he does the night feeds on Friday and Saturday nights as he doesn't have work the next day. Could you try this? Express or formula, either is fine to give you a few hours of precious sleep. And a couple of nights in the week if he is still up, he does the last feed and I turn in an hour or so earlier, every little helps.

I have a 7 week old too and i sleep through her crying sometimes. Its hard when you are so tired (and i only have one)
You can see from this thread that you are by no means alone
A few weeks ago i was already sleeping and my dp brought dd into the bedroom, woke me up and told me she was hungry. I told him to go away, rolled over and went back to sleep . Didn't even remember it when he finally got me up 10 min later.

Hi Iam a new twin month to 8 week olds and this has just started happening to me often I have hit the internet to find out if others have this problem as I feel a complete failure when this happens good to know I’m not alone and reading all the comments x