6 week old - conflicting advice on moses basket

[renegadesoundwave]

Hope someone can help as I'm going nuts!
DD is six weeks old and BF on demand. We have a moses basket in our room which I bring down to the living room for naps during the day.
Generally DD is reasonably awake during the day - catnaps for 10 minutes or so if out for a walk in the pram and snoozes between about 9:30 and 11 on and off.

The trouble is that she hates going back in her basket after her night feed (about 3am). She'll sleep fine on my knee and doze off if I walk her around the room, but it can take about 3 hours to get her settled in her basket.
HV says I should leave her to 'cry down' in the basket so she learns to have her own space and that 'I'll learn to sleep through her crying' . DH favours taking her in with us after her night feed in that we might be able to doze and won't disturb the neighbours as DD will cry less. Friends with DCs reckon co-sleeping will be a very hard habit to break and we're making a rod for our own backs if we get her into the habit of getting in with us in the middle of the night at this stage. I'm past knowing what my instincts are on this other than by the time/ if I get her settled in the moses basket I'm ready to kill DH, the neighbours, the HV and all authors of parenting manuals.

I know DD is very small but just wondered if anyone had had similar experiences? Does this sound like an issue with the feeding or the routine?

Sorry for the long post but I'm at my wit's end!

Both mine, especially dd1, hated the moses basket. They both slept in with us for most of the first few months. They both learnt to sleep on their own. You are not making a rod for your own back. Do whatever you need to to get as much sleep as you need. I sent dh to the spare room as I was more comfortable co-sleeping without him there. I wouldn't let my dc's cry themselves to sleep at 6 weeks, it is far too early IMO.

Have you tried swaddling? It worked wonders for us.

Good luck.

Oh and I think your HV has lost it if she thinks you will sleep through your 6 week old's crying. Your babies cry is very finely tuned to not only wake you but make sure it blots out all other thoughts, decisions and rationale until you deal with it. It's called evolution.

We had exactly the same with our DD at around 6 weeks. She just wouldn't settle back in the basket after night feeds. We basically just muddled through with her sleeping either on my chest, with me propped up by pillows or in a sleeping bag next to me in bed. Not great sleep but better than the alternative. I was terrified about getting into bad habits and like you doubting my instincts. For us, it got a bit better at around 10 weeks and then so much better when we moved her into her own room (still in Moses basket but placed in the cot) at 12 weeks. She's now 14 weeks and it has been ok for the past couple of weeks (touching wood, keeping everything crossed, not wanting to jinx it).

So, longwinded way of saying it doesn't seem to have created "bad habits" for us.

IMVHO (and ltd experience as DD is our first) do what you need to in the early months to get through the nights without worrying about the future as OP says. Don't even think about rods or backs!! Hate that expression.

Also I found "baby bliss" by harvey karp a great book. Focuses on how to sooth babies in first three months - doesn't involve leaving them to cry!

All the best

just to add, my DD is 6 weeks too, and we have the same issues after her last night feed (4ish) and to be honest she ends up with me in bed- but for us this is huge progress as from 0-4 weeks she wouldnt settle in the basket AT ALL, so I'm happy she spends most the night in there.... we swaddle too, it definitely helps keep her asleep longer.

similarly she is terrible for napping in the day, if I put her in the basket she will last 10 mins tops, but happily snooze for 2 hours on me

To be honest, I feel sure it will improve with time and keep telling myself she is still a very little baby who is learning/changing all the time.

Good luck! x

We have the exact same problem with our dd! She is 5 weeks old today and this last week she has just refused to settle in the Moses basket at all. She'll happily sleep on us but as soon as we try to delicately put her down she is wide awake! I was really worried about creating bad habits by having her in with us but I'm so tired I now think a couple of hours sleep is better than me being up all night trying to settle her! It's reassuring to see that I'm not alone!
Just one question about swaddling-is it ok to swaddle them when the weather gets warmer or will babies overheat?