How much help is a dummy when trying to drop night feeds?

[mistletoekisses]

Hi - DS2 has had a dummy from a few weeks old to help settle him. He is nearly 5 months old and I decided on Thurs to do cold turkey and take it away. Has worked well and is settling himself after only a small amount of crying.

However, unlike DS1, I have not been able to drop the night feeds and he is still bfeeding 2 times a night. Once he is onto solids and weaned from me, I was planning on doing the gradual reducing of milk in a bottle at night to get him used to taking less milk in the night (with the view that he totally stops). However someone I met today has made me question whether I have done the right thing.

Her experience is that dropping the night feeds (once they have become feed to sleep) is far harder than getting rid of a dummy. And that a dummy is essential in getting them to drop night feeds. If the overwhelming experience on here agrees with her, then I have no problem reintroducing the dummy. But am loathe to do so when we have already done 4 hardish days and 4 nights with no dummy.

Any advice welcomed.

I have no experience of this, but DS1 had a dummy and was still having at least 1 night feed till he was around 9mo. I would say at 5mo your DS is waking to feed because he needs to, rather than simply for comfort. I would think if it was a comfort issue he would be waking far more frequently iykwim?

What were your reasons for giving up the dummy at this stage? I am debating whether to do the same with DS2 (14wks) as I would rather he learn to settle without it. I guess if you are lucky enough to be able to get him to self soothe then he won't rely on feeding to get him to sleep just as he wont rely on a dummy.

Hi Chunkamatic - thanks for replying.

My reasons for withdrawing the dummy were simply because of the sleep issues they caused with DS1. We ended up going to him so many times during the night simply to put the dummy back in his mouth, it became rather counter productive. We did cold turkey at 10 months and wasnt easy.

DS2 is a very different personality and I get the feeling that if we wait until 10 months it would be much harder. But I equally dont want to fall into the feeding to sleep trap. The lady I saw today just made me question my wisdom.

DS1 didnt drop nightfeeds of his own volition, took my persevering in settling him without milk (but with the aid of a dummy). It is knowing what the best thing is. He settled tonight within minutes without a dummy, so he is definitely starting to self soothe.

I think if you plan to gradually reduce the amount of milk you give then you might not need to rely on a dummy as a substitute though.

Lets say you reduce the amount of milk and are confident he is not hungry, of he is still waking you could try offering water. The theory being that when they realise there is no milk on offer they stop bothering to wake up.

If you re-introduce the dummy there is nothing to say that he might stop waking for milk but, as you say happened with your DS1, waking to have the dummy put back in?

It would make sense that replacing a feed with a dummy for comfort would be quite easy, but there are other ways to comfort your DS. They might take a bit more effort than using a dummy, or they might not. If he is already doing Ok without it I would be tempted to take the gamble and do without it full stop.

Can I ask, you say you've gone cold turkey with it - how do you settle him instead? Do you do any shush-pat etc? My LO goes mental if it falls out and we dont replace it, have tried giving him 5mins or so to settle himself but its just a total meltdown!

No experience other than of reading sleep books, which say that 1 or 2 night feeds is entirely normal until 9 months (although many say most/all babies should be able to go through from 6 months. So it could be quite a while before it becomes an issue.

I'd be interested too in how you settled your DS without the dummy. My 5 m.o. doesn't use one at night, but I need it to get him drowsy for naps as I can't take the crying involved in rocking him to sleep without a dummy. I persevered for about a week, but the crying got worse and worse rather than better. (But I see you said your DS settled fairly quickly without a dummy, so perhaps he's just further on the road to 'self-settling' than my DS is.)

Hi - Re. the settling without a dummy, I have a comforter toy that I have given him from quite young and place next to him in his cot. Along side this I am doing the shush/ pat and pick up/ put down technique from the BW. The first day I did it, he cried for about 10 mins full on. Wasn't great, but I didnt leave him alone and persevered. My view being that I was with him and he knew that. Eventually he just fell asleep when I did the final pick up.

I am also finding that putting him onto his side to sleep is a great help. I put a rolled up blanket under his tummy. He rolls onto his back but not his front.

I am going to continue without the dummy. He woke 4 times last night. Twice he settled v quickly with one pick up/ put down (had wind), others he needed feeding and went straight to sleep after. It has been hard, but he has adapted v quickly. Re the night feeds, will do what i am planning to do and do a gradual reduction once i am confident he can go longer.