HELP! 6 mo wakes every 2 hrs but can self settle on initial sleep

[lynniep]

I dont really know how do deal with this but I think cc is the way with him ( I did GW with his brother but he had completely different sleep issues and was a very different child) So I wonder if anyone has any comments on our particular situation?!

Basically, DS2 is not a great sleeper - never has been. He only naps for half hour sessions (although thats very recently improved - sometimes he does an hour) He naps fairly quickly in the car and the buggy, but I can also put him down for a nap in his cot 3 times a day - if he's knackered he goes without a problem - if he's not so tired he will cry and grumble and grizzle and roll about and drop off after about 15 minutes (I go in and out of the room to pat him and put his dummy in which I guess is cc already)

His nighttime routine is the real issue though - it goes like this :

Bed - 7pm or a bit before. As with for napping, if he's dog tired he'll roll over and go to sleep, otherwise he'll settle himself with a little help (I might go in once or twice to roll him on his side where he's happier, or put his dummy in)

Wake - 10pm ish. I let him grizzle for a few minutes just in case he can go back to sleep himself, but if he starts to sound like he's going into meltdown I intervene. Usually will go back to sleep with a quick shush and pat. Dont have to get him out of this cot. I may give him a feed if I think he's hungry or if he's settled I leave it to the next wake.

Wake - 12ish. Again, I let him grizzle for a couple of minutes on the off chance he'll nod off again. He has done once or twice. If I think he's hungry (and didnt have a feed at 10) I'll either bf or give him 3-4oz formula. OR I will give him a cuddle for 5 minutes and he will drop back off. He wont settle for just a pat and a dummy at this point. When I put him down he will toss and turn and grizzle but usually will go back to sleep. Sometimes he wakes up after I think he's gone to sleep and I have to go back in and cuddle him again or meltdown occurs.

Wake - 2ish. Generally needs a cuddle back to sleep at this point as he gets VERY loud and upset if I leave him. He finds it quite hard to get back to sleep even with a cuddle although I can see he's trying because he tries to burrow his head into the mattress or his bunny and is v. frustrated.

Wake - 4ish. I give up and bring him into bed with me and bf back to sleep and he usually conks out till about 6.30 with maybe one wake when I move him to my other side.

So whilst he's relatively easy to get back to sleep, and will go back in his cot (unless it gets to about 4 when he wont settle back in his cot) I'm up far too often in the night and I can't cope any more. He's also waking our 3 year old who is consequently v. grumpy and tired the next day. So I need to be stricter. Or something.

He moved into his own room the other day, which I thought might help (it didnt) so I think I may take this long weekend to do some cc. But I'm not sure how it works. If I think he does actually need a feed around midnight, does that cancel out the attempts where you let him cry? Hes 6 and a half months btw, and he is on solids now, although not a vast amount.

Thanks for any comments in advance. Sorry for the essay.

Hi this is a tricky age cos you feel like by now they aught to sleep better but then it seems to be worse than ever! My DCs fed very 3hours through the night at this age. They are so hungry and can't deal with a lot of solids yet. For mine it got better between 8-9mths when they managed to eat a bit more. I'd wait till then to get strict with night time sleep/feedimg.
I would offer him milk every time he wakes.
Maybe not what you wnated to hear.

Agree with bumbums. I'd wait until he's eating properly. The only thing I'd suggest is walking/ cuddling etc to get him to go 3-4 hours between night feeds rather than 2.

I could have written this post - we are even up at similar times! Sorry no advise; just you not alone

6mo seems to be a classic age for this sort of sleep regression, just been through it myself with dd2

she's 8mo and has vastly improved over the past two or three weeks

i don't have the constitution for controlled crying - this is what we did:

week 1 - when she cried i picked her up as if to feed her but shoved a dummy in instead. if she still cried i would feed her but at least 3/4 of the time she would just go back to sleep

week 2 - when she woke pop dummy in and pat - feed if still upset

week 3 - just stick dummy in

she went from feeding every couple of hours to going most of the night with just a couple of dummy reinsertions within those three weeks

who knows, perhaps she would have outgrown the frequent waking at this point anyway as she started eating more at this stage and was possibly less hungry at night - but i think we broke the frequent feeding at night habit this way with very little distress for all concerned

good luck, its recent enough for me to bring back sick feelings of exactly how knackered i was so i empathise completely

blimey really feel for you, I wouldn't be able to cope either. If it was me this is what I would do;
keep bedtime routine as it is and bed at 7pm, feed when he wakes at 10pm and check nappy is okay, then if (when!) he wakes again, leave for 5 mins (if you have a clock check it is a full 5 mins as can often feel much longer!), if he doesn't stop pop in and reassure, offer drink of water and dummy and the leave for another 5 mins -repeat as often as it takes for him to go back to sleep, try and avoid putting any lights on, talking or getting him out of bed. Repeat same routine if he wakes again, at 4am I would check his nappy as sometimes if that feels wet it might be enough to stop him settling.
Also is he teething? Some teething powder might help if so.
That is pretty much how I did it with my dd at that age and (touch wood) she soon stopped waking and remains to this day (she is now 4!) a 12 hours a night girl!!!
Good luck xXx

I decided to do controlled crying at 8mths and mgically it wasn't needed. She cried for less than a minute the first waking and less on second then slept through!

thanks for your comments and suggestions. Its so knackering when you've got a three year old to look after as well and you barely get to sleep before you're being woken up again.

I think I might wait until he is eating a bit more. I just cant wait too long as I'll be starting work again in a few months and I can barely think straight. But it does seem like cc is meant for babies who don't need a feed at all during the night and I think he still does. And whilst I dont want him to comfort suck to sleep, I only really bf him at night as he gets formula in the day and I dont want to give that up yet.

Just seen last couple of comments - cheers girliefriend for mentioning the nappy - I hadnt thought of that - he usually just stays in his nappy all night (he never does a poo overnight) so could well be a problem. Also mentioning teething - yes it could be that too.

I never turn lights on or talk to him and I dont look him in the eye cos he thinks its playtime but I do pick him up on the later wakings so I might try to avoid that too unless of course I think he needs a fee (if I use a bottle he stays in his cot, but obviously a bf requires a pickup as well!)

Is there a reason you have stopped breast feeding in the day? I only ask as it might be that if he enjoys being breast fed this would be reason for him to wake iyswim?! Not suggesting you stop at all but if he was getting some breast feeds in the day it might balence it out a bit! Good luck hope you get some kip tonight! xXx

I am in similar situation to you (including the 3 yr old), but with more wakings, and I have already (just) returned to work. I have every sympathy. I was under LOTS of pressure from H Visitor and GP to leave to cry. Then I found out DD has had repeated UTIs due to a kidney problem (dr lost test results so waited far too long to find this out - yes, the same dr that told me to leave her to cry). Am now v glad I ignored their advice! am not suggesting your baby has the same problem, and I don't really believe there's any solution - sounds as if you've done everything you reasonably can, and unfortunately is one of those very very hard things you just have to cope with. Somehow! Will be thinking of you tonight in the wee small hours!

I think his daytime sleep could be the cause. If he's not getting some decent sleep in the day it can make him overtired and restless through the night.

What time is his last nap? At his age he could really benefit from 2hours or more after lunch, to see him through to a 7pm bedtime.

Crikey. You must be shattered! I used this method for night waking and it worked for us:

return and check

Not easy in the middle of the night but it did work after about 3 nights. x

thanks again for the comments.
gl - it was his decision to stop bf during the day. he started rejecting it. he will take it now and again but not often

lmi- yes I agree theres an issue with his lack of daytime sleep, but I've never been able to do anything about it, and after a few months I gave up trying. He does (in the past month ) occassinoaly sleep longer of his own accord, so I'm hoping he starts to make this a habit

return and check - I kind of do that, but I have to admit I give in quite often and cuddle him to sleep - because I can't bear the thought of him waking his brother and having two screaming children! I know I need to bite the bullet at some point!!

I preferred the PUPD method when sleep training mine (baby whisperer) But have been known to go in every 5 minutes and settle and leave again with my second child, as PUPD didn't work so well with him. But it took 3 days of total consistency to sleep train them both. I've known friends who've had their mother or a friend to stay when sleep training for moral support and back up

I'd consider sleep training for daytime naps at this stage possibly. Both my DCs were on 2 naps a day at 6 months, 10.30am and 3pm. They had to be awake by 7am so the rest of the day didn't go to pot as well.

My two slept worse at night if they didn't get a good nap in the day at 6 months tbh.

I have a 2.9 yr old and 16 month old and they share a room. I feel your pain Lynnie. When my son was 6 months he still had a 10 or 11pm ish feed, which I dream fed to him but I started to try once he was eating 3 meals a day to give bonjela first if he woke after 11pm and see if he'd settled again. As he was teething and I thought "you're eating well in the day, perhaps you're waking as your teeth hurt and not because you're hungry". The first time I gave him bonjela and left again, he shouted for a moment and actually went back to sleep for 3 hours! And that was it really, I decided from that point on after his dream feed, if he woke again to offer bonjela and see if he'd go back to sleep and often it worked. I'm not saying this will work for yours, but it is always worth a try? I'd feed him if he woke at 5am ish or later of course, but refused to feed in the middle of the night anymore.

I've read somewhere that at 9 months their brain patterns change and most children's night sleep improves at that point. Think it was in this book. Certainly by 9 months both of mine had improved massively.

So it won't be long now and things will get better.