Feeding an 8m old in the night - is it OK?

[fabulosa]

I was talking to an HV yesterday about DS (8m) sleeping 'pattern' (hah!). He goes down at 8 then usually sleeps until between 4 and 6 am. When he wakes up then I give him a bottle, which he usually has 5 or 6 oz of, then he generally goes back to sleep until about half 7. She looked concerned and warned me that I had to be very careful taking this approach as he will start waking habitually at this time to be fed and it will stop him sleeping through the night properly. I'm now feeling worried as I thought he would just grow out of it, probably once he's eating more solids. I also thought that as he's been teething and it's so hot, it's not surprising that he wakes and feeding him is the quickest way to get him to go back down.

So, now I'm feeling very anxious about this: that I'm Making A Rod For My Own Back and getting him into Bad Habits. Is the HV right or is it OK to keep doing this and he'll grow out of it? Or should I do something about this? Please don't suggest CC - I'm already exhausted and really can't cope with anything that will keep me up any more! Feeling very unconfident at the moment .

This sounds very like how my 10m DD was at about 8m. She was still waking at about 4am for a feed, (bf), I would feed her, she'd go back to sleep til about 6.30-7am. She grew out of it and dropped the feed by herself between about 8m and 9m. I think your HV is worrying you unnecessarily tbh and I doubt your DS is unusual in this. I would give him a bit longer, he might surprise you, like my DD did.

Are you happy with the status quo?

Then leave it as it is

it's you (or your dp if you have one) who has to cope with it, not your hv

fwiw at thus age my dd and ds both had an overnight feed

dd dropped it just before her first birthday
ds dropped it around 9 months

the time they wake up for the day I found unrelated, and also something that changed over time

do what you want and be confident that you are making the best choice for your family

if you want to stop feeding during your sleep time, why not do a dream feed at 10 ish? i do this with ds2 and he sleeps through until 7ish.
also did this with ds1 and when we stopped the dream feed, at about 10 months iirc, he slept through. never had to do cc during the night with him.

agree with other posters that if you are happy, ignore hv.

ds gave up his night feed around 8 months but I had been gently encouraging him to give it up by gradually decreasing the amount offered by an ounce every week/fortnight. I started reducing it from 6 months and we were down to 3oz when he stopped waking for it.

Thanks everyone, that's so reassuring to hear that it's normal for babies to be waking for a feed in the night at this age. I've been told (again, by an HV) that they 'shouldn't' wake in the night through hunger after 6m - yet another thing to be worried about! As he's 8m now he could be nearing the end of the waking in the night anyway. I hope so as I'm back at work in a month's time and would really like it sorted by then. If it's not, well, I can feel a bit more confident that he'll sort it out himself and it doesn't have to be the CC route (HV's round here seem very keen on that method!).

Having said that, Seona1973, that's a good idea about very gradually dropping the amount of milk offered and sounds much easier and more gentle that the whole crying for ages thing! I'll see how he is when I go back to work and if it's getting unmanageable then I'll perhaps give it a go.

Most of the sleep books say that babies ought to be physiologically capable of sleeping through from 6 months, but also say that many babies do still need 1 or 2 night feeds up to 9 months or a year.

Trouble is, the babies haven't read the books about what they're supposed to do!

Our HVs seem keen on CC too - or rather just 'put them down and leave them to cry' (uncontrolled crying??)