19month old suddenly can't sleep!

[manna]

I posted last week about this, but as the weeek has continued (and the problem) I have analysed the situation a bit better, but would love some advice as I am very, very weary....

Following Gf, my ds has slept 7 - 7 since 10 weeks, gone off fine at lunchtimes etc. In other words, was practically a model sleeper, with a few minor hiccups. Two weeks ago he started doing some 'terrible two' type stuff, mini tantrums, exerting his will etc., but was basically manageable and I just thought it was the next stage, as it were. Then we left him for 1 night with Granny - again, fine, no problem. The next day he got given 'where the wild things are' - a book I love, but a bit scary, maybe. He seemed to love it and we read it a lot for 2 days. Two days after he got back from Grannies (I've asked her and she says nothing unusual happened there) he screamed his head off when I put him down, but settled in 15mins. He woke up screaming at 4.30am covered in cold vomit, so he'd obviously cried himself sick when I put him down & I hadn't realised (shame!!). The next 2 nights, he started crying and looking scared as soon as stories were over (obviously the scary book has gone to the back of the cupboard!), and vomited almost before he reached his bed.(He's not ill, though). Since then I've settled him ok with lots of cuddles and 'mummies here', but have stayed in the room until he's asleep. Now he's waking at 4 / 5ish and screaming until I go and not letting me leave the room. I have no problem in leaving him to cry if needs be, but he seems really scared and very different to normal. Someone said that this could be nighttime seperation anxiety, and that commonly it's brought on by a big developmental leap, which sure enough he went through the week before with his 'terrible two's' thing. I.e. they spend all day separating from you and stretching their wings, and then at night get freaked out and need you close.

I should add that in the day, apart from a bit of willfullness, he's his usual lovely self and I've spent all week spending a lot of time with him to try and make him feel secure.

I have looked back over all the sleep posting's and found several people with kids that went through the same thing at a similar age. Is this common? How can I help him through it asap? If I leave him to cry will he vomit again? Does the thing about the developmental leap ring any bells with anyone?

I would really appreciate any advice as I'm very, very tired, and worried that this may ruin our holiday in two weeks time.

Sorry to hear that your little boy is having such a hard time. I know that GF is adamant about babies sleeping in the dark, if your baby does sleep in pitch darkness have you thought about introducing just a little bit of light so when he comes into his light sleep he can be reassured by the environment around him - Richard Ferber believes that babies should not sleep in pitch dark rooms for this very reason. HTH.

I had been thinking of that, horse, but I don't know if that makes a nonsense of all the blackout blind stuff. He's always fallen asleep in the dark, and been fine. I worry that when he comes into a light sleep (4 / 5ish) he'll look around him and decide it's time to wake up. Does anyone have any experience of night lights after blackout blinds? I'm not sure if he's afraid of the dark, or afraid of being left alone. He's a good communicator, and can say things like 'dark', 'light on / off', open / shut door' etc, so I'd have thought if he was frightened of the dark he would have said something. Instead it's just 'mummy, mummy' and when I respond 'mummy's here' he eventually drops off muttering 'mummy's 'ere, mummy's ere..!' Cute but not cute enough to put up with endless interrupted nights, I'm afraid.

Both mine were perfectly happy in the dark as babies, but began not to like it at about the age you are talking about - a year and a half or so, about the time they were really becoming able to communicate etc. I think they move into a different stage, their imagination starts to work etc and they can get anxious if they wake in the night and it is pitch black. I think if you make sure there is a light on somewhere sufficient so that he can see where he is when he wakes in the morning (but so he'll still know that it is nighttime) it may help a bit. Especially if you tell him that you are going to do it - ie tell him that if he wakes in the night he will be able to see that he is in his lovely room with all his lovely toys and he should just snuggle down and go back to sleep. Even if he doesn't manage to settle himself for the first few nights it may lessen the terrors and make it easier to settle him down in the long run.

You never know what it is that he is thinking of to scare himself - for my daughter it was the childcatcher from chitty chitty, but it took me ages to work this out!
good luck

I too am a little confused about the blackout issue Manna. I am a believer in blackouts and have used them since starting CLBB. In our last flat I was able to blackout the window successfully because it was small but since moving (almost a year ago now) and having patio doors instead of windows in every room it has been impossible to stop all the light coming into dd's bedroom even with a blackout blind, blackout curtains and a pelmet. Also when going away on holiday or for weekends it is impossible to do complete blackout. In my opinion this does not hinder dd's sleep because the foundation for good sleep has been laid. I know that there can be hicoughs when the evenings and mornings get lighter but I think that by allowing a little bit of light in a babies room will not have a long term damaging effect of sleep. When they are being potty trained we will have to leave a night light on. Princesspeahead had a good suggestion about explaining it to him, it may take a few nights for him to settle back but it is worth a try.

just to say that we've seem to be over it. The night before last he settled himself twice, and once with me just opening the door, saying mummies here, and closing the door again. Last night - not a peep!! and it was my birthday - hurrah

Hopefully that's the end of this blip - thanks for the advice.

Great news Manna - my 21 month old has just done the same thing. It only lasted a few nights and we then gave him a night light and it seems to have done the trick. Like yours - he appears to have gone through it !!