4 month sleep regression - help please

[ANTMaddict]

DD is 19 weeks and has never been a good sleeper day or night, but the last 2 weeks or so have been terrible and I just don't know what to do. She goes to bed around 7pm, and last night woke at 9:30, 12:30, 3 and 4:30 and then was awake until falling asleep at her 7am feed. This now seems typical rather than a bad night. I can't remember the last time she slept for 3 hours, nevermind more than that. I put her down drowsy but awake and she goes to sleep on her own, but can not settle herself during the night - nothing but breastfeeding will settle her. Most of the time she does seem hungry - she'll feed for 15 minutes or so then usually go back to sleep.

I'm so tired I can't think straight and close to tears most of the time. DD is also increasingly grizzly through the day as she's so tired. Is this the 4 month sleep regression? Will it pass on its own, or should I be trying something to help her sleep longer at night? Am I making it worse by always feeding her when she wakes during the night? Obviously don't want to do controlled crying when she's so young but should I be trying to wean her off some of the night feeds? And if so, how on earth do you do this? Please tell me it gets better ....

If it's the 4 month sleep regression it will pass. I'm dashing off out now so can't give more details, but I'll pop back later and give some links, as there's quite a bit of info out there on the web about it that I've already had a look at.

have you looked at babywhisperer? books and online forum. lots of helpful tips for ways to settle other than BF'ing to sleep, without horrid CC/CIO techniques. shush pat or some other way of calming her using your voice cld work. at 4mths she should be able to go 3h btw feeds at least (my DD now 6.5m didn't sleep thru til solids) but that amt of wakings wld not necessarily always be hunger, so only answer with a feed if it IS hunger IYKWIM? is it teething? or poss OT? how much day time sleep does she get? my DD will have more nightwaings the less daytime sleep she's had.

It will get better, in time. We went through the same thing, exactly as you describe (DS now 9 months). We survived by having DS in bed with me, so I could feed him back to sleep every time, as nothing else worked. DH slept in the spare room and therefore got a decent night's sleep. DH also took DS for an hour or two every morning, allowing me to get a couple more hours sleep. Is that possible for you? The really intense night waking went on for about 3 weeks, or so. Do you feed lying down? Can you have an afternoon nap together? We often had an hour or 1.5h nap/feed together, meaning I wasn't so tired in the evening. HTH

4 month sleep regression / developmental spurt:

here

here

here

and

here.

Angeldog - super interesting links, thanks for posting - DS is 16wks old and been early waking for last few week - could well be an expanation, fascinating stuff, cheers xx

I think we're just emerging from it here, so it's been on my mind a bit!

Angeldog - many thanks for these links. They all ring so true. Very reassuring that others experience the same - how come I never meet any in real life?!

We had a much better night last night - down easily at 6:45, woke at 10:30 and 2:30 and needed feeding to settle, then awake for the day from 5:50. Strange, as I could barely get her to nap at all during the day. It's a vicious circle - she's too frazzled to sleep during the day after a bad night, and then massively overtired again by bedtime. I managed to get her to take a few ounces of formula before bed for the first time so maybe that helped. Fingers crossed we are through the worst - for now at least.

I know I will still have to tackle night feeds at some point. Annanalexa I have looked a bit at the Baby Whisperer Pick Up / Put Down stuff and I have given it a very short, half heaterd attempt but DD seemed to get more and more worked up. I haven't had the staying power to follow through.

Hi!

Just to offer some encouragement... we had exactly the same except perhaps even worse at 4 months. DS is now 6 months and goes to bed at 7.30, dream feed at 10.30, quick feed at 4am and up at 6. Not perfect, but totally fine by me. It does get better, honest. I never thought it would but it's gone by so fast. Hang in there! Oh, and PU/PD about the most stressy and sleep depriving thing ever for my DS. Doesn't work for everyone!

thank you so much for this - it has been enlightening as my son has been waking every hour or two every night for the past five weeks and it really helps that I now understand what it is. In summary (for future people reading this): "At around three or four months, babies can experience what is known as the four-month sleep transition or regression, which is the first major sleep transition. At four months your baby starts going through a developmental spurt that leaves him or her unable to sleep through the night. So even he has been sleeping for five or more hours in a row, that may go down to one, two or three hours in a row at night. At three or four months old your baby is now sleeping more like an adult so will briefly wake 45-50 minutes after he has been asleep, hence the frequent wakings. Once the baby goes through the developmental spurt, the sleep regression will be over. At around six months or so, if your baby has not developed his own better sleeping habits after pulling through the transition period, you can choose a sleep-training technique that best suits your family's needs and implement these strategies then."

hey OP. We're going through 4 month sleep regression at 4.5 months and if it makes you feel any better the worst night you describe is similar to our best other than the very rare better patch,waking every 1.5 hour to feed right now. There're a few of us on the sleep derivation support thead going through this,join us for a moan! We will all get over it!!

I feel much better for reading this! (although no less tired) Thank you :)

Sleep regressions can be a bitch, but I reckon feeding to sleep during a regression can also create longer-term sleep associations. Have got quite a few friends who have gone through it and interestingly, the FF babies seem to get through it more quickly than the BF ones, possibly because the bottle babies aren't being offered feeds every time they wake (you just don't as it's so much faff to go downstairs and prepare a bottle every time, plus you have a better idea of how much they've taken at the previous feed).

I know you do whatever you have to do to get through it and for some, feeding to sleep is a choice, not a solution to a problem, but I've found it interesting seeing other people experience it in different ways. Good luck everyone!