Calling all experienced mums... To dream feed or let sleeping babies lie?

[JillJill32]

Sleep/Eat pattern of my 11 week old is something like this...

Wake 7ish, Feed
Short Nap 8.30 ish to 10ish, Feed
Long Nap 11.30 till 2 or 2.30, Feed

And then this is where the chaos sets in..
Usually (doesn't always happen and she's a grumpy thing if she doesn't nap properly) Short nap around 4 or 5

Bed around about 6.30-7.30

Last few nights (4) she has mercifully not woken naturally about 10 and slept until 1 or 2 am wanting a feed, then woken around 4/5 for a feed.

2 Questions to all you mums...

1. if i try and introduce a dream feed might this backfire and just get her waking once more often than currently, or might she sleep longer in the proper night?

2. If i try and reduce the amount she sleeps and lunch tie and wake her after 1.5 hours might this backfire and make her even more grumpy or might it make her afternoon more predictable and night longer?

Bottom line, do i risk changing her natural rhythms or go with the current flow and hope she eventually sleeps longer at night naturally?

ps breastfeeding with bottle at bedtime

it sounds lovely to me, only one night waking at 11 weeks is fab!

so i would stick with it, she will eventually drop the night feed by herself

I introduced a nightfeed on the guidance of my HV about 5 weeks ago. Big mistake, DS wakes more frequently now, doesn't drink much at the dreamfeed but if I don't do it he wakes out of habit and won't settle til I shove a boob in his mouth. More hassle than it's worth in my opinion!!!

I always left my son until he woke up naturally, usually anytime between midnight and 3am, he goes to sleep at 7pm.

I really believed it was best to leave him.

However (and this is a big however) he is now over 6 months old eating tons of solids but still waking for a feed during the middle of the night. He does sleep 12 hours sporadically.

Everyone tells me to dream feed him at 10:30pm, I tried this when he was around 3 months and he was more unsettled.

Should I try a dream feed? I have begun to water down his night feeds, he rarely takes all his bottle and then gets put off his breakfast.

I am reluctant to introduce a dream feed now in case I set a precedent which is hard to break. However, his sleeping seems to be getting worse with age and six months of getting up at night is beginning to get rather tiresome!

So it seems I have the same dilemma, just 6 months on!

It is a difficult one to answer because it really does depend upon the child. None of my 3 ever really got on with the dream feed. It was v hard to wake them up at that time. When I did manage to wake them they fussed and didn't bf properly and then they would only wake up about 1 hr later than they would have done anyway (e.g. say at 2am rather than 1am so it made no difference to my night whatsoever). All of them slept through quite quickly luckily, the time of the night wake just extended further and further towards the early hours until they slept through. On the other hand I know lots of people for whom the dream feed has been fantastic, meaning they have had a full nights sleep from about 6 weeks.

I would suggest you try it for about 4 or 5 nights running and see what happens. If it doesn't help, then drop it again. But if you don't try you won't know.

My belief is that most babies naturally have one longer sleep period during a 24 hr period. For my 3 that always fell from 7pm and if I woke them at 10.30 they immediately reverted to their day time pattern of approx 3 hrly feeds. So to get them to sleep through I had to wait for the time between feeds to extend from 7pm. Other babies naturally seem to have their long sleep period later - say from 11pm, in which case the dream feed works well for them.

I think natural rhythms are best. I would not mess with that good lunchtime sleep. Most people's days with an 11 week old are a bit hectic and all over the place - for you it's just the afternoons and in no time they will improve. All mine stopped needing that third nap soon after 3 months so I think you'll find your afternoons are less grumpy really quite soon.

Always woke them up at 10.30. This worked as it got them through the night and much easier to break that night time feed.

Hard work and extremely exhausting but worth it I had DS1 sleeping through at 12 weeks and DS2 (much more free spirited) 4 months.

dreamfeed

Have dream fed both mine - Ds1 slept through from 8 weeks and DS2 from 11 weeks. However, I'm wondering whether I really need to with DS2 as he is huge and, as he has bad reflux, it means we have to sit up with him for at least an hour afterwards. Not sure how to stop it without going back to feeding in the night though - the tv is better at 11.30p.m than at 4a.m!!

Go with the flow. As long as the baby is eating enough during the day, she should gradually wake later and later for feeds, dropping them one at a time until the only wake for a feed is at 6/7am, assuming the last 'legitimate!!' feed is at about 7.00pm.

I'm just not a fan of ever giving the impression that waking at night time is my idea - same for toilet training!

Just the way it worked in our family since my Great Granny's day but all families are different.
Good luck!

just asking out of interest because i was planning on trying dream feeds on my 8 week old...is it necessary to wake them up for the feed? i thought i could literally try and feed them whilst asleep.

Oh yes, DS1 slept through the night, 7pm til 7am from 10 weeks and DS2 from 12 doing this! Probably the genes rather than the technique!

Poonchi, I know of friends who co sleep who manage to achieve feeding their babies at night with the mother hardly knowing. I think the babies need to be at least a bit conscious to feed. Maybe you could try it and see. I wonder if they got into the habit of a 10.30 dream feed they would wake if they hadn't had it. People do say it can sometimes be tricky to lose this feed.

I did the Gina Ford way which was to wake them up - taking off blankets, lights on etc. I found it difficult as always sliping back into sleep - but worth it. I found baby didnt drink if sleeping so it was constant blowing and talking.

Depends on whether you want to get baby into a strict routine and get life back on track too.

Both times worked a treat!

thanks for the advice. will give it a try.

Thanks all. Thinking about it and hearing your comments, I think I am reluctant to try the dream feed - both because i also realise i believe that me waking her at night might give her the idea it's ok to get up after going to bed "properly" at 7, and also i have been finding that my own best sleep is between 8 and 12!!! Ok, it doesn't do much for the social/marital life and I haven't seen anything but daytime tv for months, but at least it's keeping me sort of sane.

Will stick with it as is, try to get her to eat more during the day, and hope and pray that it's not too long before she drops the night feeds.