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Six month old BF baby won't sleep unless in my arms or on the boob. Not prepared to do cc.

6 replies

Adamsmam · 14/05/2010 09:24

Well, the title says it all really. DS has been sleeping through, from anywhere between 7 and 10 until 6/7 since he was three months! I know! He's always been reliant on the boob to go off but had started to settle himself once we stirred him after a feed. Then teething started and he became less settled. No teeth yet. Just the last month he has cried every time he's put in his cot. I can't even put him down next to me and co-sleep without him crying. He has to be either in my arms or on my boob. This is progress as we did have a point where he only settled for the latter.

I've tried pick up, put down but only got as far as ten times cos eventually he won't even settle in my arms and has to go on the boob so it feels like it just agitates. I also find myself getting frustrated at this as he's fine until I put him down. He sleeps in his cot for pockets ranging from 5 minutes to 2 hours. If he wakes after 5 minutes he needs me to settle him. If he wakes after two hours he sometimes settles himself and goes back off. We have a bedtime routine that we follow, although it's not always at the same time as some nights he just wasn't tired. Once we get the first sleepy signal we're off - pjs on early cos he's not keen on getting changed, feed downstairs, final nappy change, story, feed in bed with me. He sometimes comes off me and sleeps until moved. He used to come off me and then settle in his cot. As soon as I pick him up he settles. As soon as I put him down he cries. Sometimes he won't settle unless back on the boob. Whether this be for a feed and therefore some sleepy hormone, or just the comfort. He won't settle for DH. I'm feeling a little shackled. He's a good baby, rarely cries. I'm not prepared to do any controlled crying. As he rarely cries it's just too distressing for all concerned. Independent during the day. Can leave him playing in his cot for up to 15 minutes quite happily. Just night time. Any thoughts? I need some advice please, if not just reassurance that it won't be like this forever! Thanks!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MoChan · 14/05/2010 09:55

My daughter was like this. Went through long process of teaching her to self-settle.

I would lie her down in the cot, she would cry, I would sit next to the cot with my hand on her tummy, and she would cry. I would stay like this for a while. If she carried on crying for a long time, I would take her out and cuddle/feed her. If she settled a bit, I would carry on sitting at the side of the cot, and on some occasions she would fall asleep. Eventually, she could fall asleep without crying, and then, eventually, on her own.

We had been co-sleeping. The only reason I did this was because she was no longer able to do so. She was waking up every half hour through the night, and was permanently cross and tired, so I had to help her learn to sleep on her own. Spent a LOT of hours on my knees by the side of the cot.

She is now great at settling herself, and has been for a while (she's 2 and a half-ish)

I wouldn't rush it, though. I think it's pretty normal for a baby this age to be dependent on a feed/contact to get to sleep, and my daughter was older when we did the 'sleep training' thing.

Adamsmam · 14/05/2010 16:25

Thanks for that. It helps knowing our situation is normal! At 4am it feels like I'm the only one suffering!

OP posts:
OrganicHairbrush · 17/05/2010 23:57

My DD is the same... just as you describe, and won't do more than 3 minutes at a stretch in her cot. So whereas I've got no advice, I just wanted you to know you're not alone...

NoSleepTillWeaning · 21/05/2010 10:28

What about the no cry sleep solution approach? I know nothing about it except I think it is meant to be a gentle appraoch to stopping feeding to sleep. Google Elizabeth Pantley or ask on here - someone must know more!

mummamango · 21/05/2010 22:06

Hi Adamsmam,
I have a 6 month old baby boy who won't go to sleep unless on the boob. Am also not prepared to use CC. Sometimes worry about the fact that everyone else thinks he should be self settling / sleeping through in his cot but then part of me thinks it's the most natural thing in the world for babies to want their mum to get to sleep and CC just feels wrong to me (although not wanting to judge anyone for whom it has worked). Can't quite bring myself to 'train' him yet either.
I know it is a bit old fashioned but I have read that babies who are comforted to sleep will be more secure as they get older and this makes me feel like it is good for him. Sorry that's not much help but just wanted to let you know that you are certainly not alone!

CarGirl · 21/05/2010 22:09

I think Pick up put down is the way to go but you need to accept it will take a long time to let your ds feel safe to go to sleep on his own after being cuddled or fed to sleep.

PUPD isn't traumatic for them because they're not left to get upset.

Book some help, time off work etc and resolve to do it.

Other than that just co-sleep.

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