11m and constant night sucking (in addition to frequent feeds)

[tiredpooky]

hello, i really feel i have had enough. we have all been ill with diarrhoea and vomiting (and i had to cosleep whislt vomiting 2hourly then resettle DD after each vomit - dh in spare room before work, hes been struggling into work) then shes last 2d fed frequently in day and had 1-2h a night where she just wants to suck constantly. would be ok but she scratching/plucking/ pinching my neck , chest and arms and i cant stand it for long, if i hold her hands she goes mental. and i dont think shes swallowing at that time ?not enough milk cos i been poorly. although at nap today she did same thing and when i squeezed my nipple milk came. maybe she trying to build up my milk again? she refused formula and cows milk when i tried (i know she too young for cow as main milk)
so last night i left her in cot to scream (in same room) and kept going to lie her back down, saying go sleep night night, and she screamed and screamed and said mum mum mum. same the night before and in the end i gave her more breast and she conked
what can i do? she is so tiny under 2nd centile, maybe i need dh to get formula in to her he has done 3x before for a nap. he did say he'd come in bedroom tonight to help
what have i done wrong to have a baby who doesnt sleep? i am usually feeding her 6-10 x anyway and this has pushed me over the edge
DH told me this morning we would not be having anymore children, part of me feels like its my fault he wont let me have more children, because i havent been an earth mother coping well. altho at the mo i think hes right

Tiredpooky, I have no advice I'm afraid, but please don't beat yourself up. The only people who are 'earth mothers coping well' are people who are incredibly lucky to get an easy baby - or (more likely) who haven't reached the difficult bit yet. All of us have hideous spells where we feel like we can't go on and it's all our fault. It doesn't mean that it is your faulth, though.

My DH said that we won't be having any more children (when DS's sleep was hideous), but has since changed his mind. It is so easy for both of you to feel pessimistic when you've all been ill and are tired and have a difficult baby to deal with.

If you've recently fed her and don't think she's hungry, could you try a dummy? Could DH try to resettle her with a dummy / a finger to suck on?

thanks angeldog, i nealry bought a dummy yesterday then thought oh i dont want to go down that route, but i will get one today cos right now i'd give her whisky if i thought it make her sleep
am feeling better, have decided DD will have to accept mummy has boundaries and even if she goes cold turkey, by 12m there will be no night feeds, have also looked at booking a hol to greece even though i never wanted to fly with her yet. stuff that shes ready i say

Glad you're feeling a bit better. I hesitated about using a dummy, but I got to the point of feeling that a habit like that was preferable to a habit of not sleeping (or having to listen to DS crying for long periods of time).

Greece sounds good: it isn't that far - it's not like going trans-atlantic.

Hope tonight is better for you.