can I bring bedtime forward for an evening cluster-feeder?

[curlyLJ]

My dd is 8 weeks and tends to cluster feed (a lot) in the evenings... She will practically be on my boob all evening between 7 & 10pm - although she falls asleep there frequently and I just let her nap on me (for a bit of peace and quiet [wink[ )

When it comes to bedtime, I have to feed her to sleep, but very rarely will she go doen and stay down before 11.30. Last night it was 12.15 and I was shattered. SHe just kept falling into what seemed like a deep sleep and then would wake the second I put her in her moses basket.

I know she can sleep well when she wants to as we have had some 5 or 6 (even one 7) hour stretches.

What I would really like to do is to bring bedtime forward - even 9pm would be better - but have I got any hope while she cluster feeds? Is cluster feeding something they grow out of?

Yes, I think cluster feeding is something they generally grow out of. My advice would be to wait a few more weeks.

'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child' by Marc Weissbluth says that past 6 weeks of age, biologically driven bedtimes tend to become earlier. This takes longer to develop for colicky babies.

6-8 weeks is when fussiness peaks so you are right in the worst of it. Hopefully it should gradually disappear by 12-14 weeks or so, when babies become a bit more settled and able to self-soothe (even if they can't then settle themselves to sleep).

I would try making the evening from 10pm like night-time ie darkened room, no eye contact, no talking etc, to help teach her that it is night time, not play time. And once she's asleep you could try holding onto her until she's in a deep sleep - it was 15-20 mins for my DS. As she gets bigger she should stop cluster feeding, naturally want to go to bed earlier and find it easier to stay asleep after you've put her down.

The No-Cry Nap Solution by Elizabeth Pantley has a suggestion for teaching a sleeping baby how to be put down in their cot without waking and protesting.

It does get better. My DS wouldn't go to sleep till 9pm (earlier than your DD, I know) but now at 17 weeks I can put him to bed at 6pm and he'll generally stay asleep.

HTH

My baby cluster fed all evening at first. She started to settle after her 6.30pm feed when I started to make that feed "bedtime". Before, I was feeding her downstairs amid noise and light, and keeping her downstairs all evening in her bouncy chair between feeds. She would nod off then wake up and we'd do the old "dinner with one hand, bounce the baby with the other" routine.

Then at about 6 weeks I started a little ritual,from about 6pm onwards. I draw all the curtains upstairs and keep the light low. She either has a bath or a wash, then I put her in her pyjamas, talking to her in a soothing voice the whole time. Then we have a really quiet feed- and I make sure it's a big one, sometimes she switches sides more than once- and a cuddle, and I put her in her crib.

To be honest I started this ritual as much for me as for her- it's a lovely relaxing time that helped me cope with the chaos of the newborn days. The first few nights of doing this, she would wake up for feeds in the evening, and I'd feed her upstairs quietly in the dim light and put her back in her crib. We were surprised (and joyful) the first time she stayed down and we could enjoy dinner without our little companion!

She's 13 weeks now and ever since that first night, she always (touch wood) goes down after her teatime feed and stays down all evening. Bliss.

The timing could have been a coincidence, but it's worth a pop.

Good luck!

thanks for the tips. we tried something similar to your suggestions last night - also tips from the book Teach Yourself Baby Sleep,and put DD down in her basket awake but tired. Although we had some crying and shouting, she finally fell asleep on her own for the first time without me having to feed her to sleep and try to get her in without walking her.
Admittedly we left it too late I think and she had reached the point of overtiredness, so tonight the ritual is going to start earlier...
Also did the same thing after her 4.30am feed, put her back in the cot drowsy and she did it on her own again. It did take her a while to completley drop off, but I guess this will get quicker as she gets more used to it?

meant to also say that I actually think all the fussing and crying has been overtiredness and so she is sucking for comfort, rather than hunger... lets see how tonight goes - fingers crossed!