Advice please: what to do once DS wakes from predictably v short nap/ catnaps

[Suchanamateur]

I've posted before about my DS,then 6 weeks, now 8 weeks and his aversion to sleep in the day and night. I'm resigned for the moment to the frequent night wakings, but I'm really keen to try and work on his daytime naps a bit- as the lack of them are what gets him totally overtired.

What I'm confused about is this - what do I do with him when he wakes shortly into a nap and won't go back to sleep?. He'll frequently wake 20mins into a nap - or 45 mins if I'm lucky and then, despite much effort, he won't go back to sleep. Obviously if he'd had a nice long nap, I'd feed him (I'm bfing), have a little play and then settle him for his next sleep. But if I feed him when he's woken from a very brief nap, I'll be feeding every hour and a half or even more frequently. I don't want to keep him awake until he's really ready for his next feed because he'll then be awake for ages (feeds take a good hour) and be more difficult to settle next time. Recently, I've been putting him in the sling when he wakes - which sometimes sends him off, but usually only when I go out and walk. Any advice/thoughts?

Hi there S

I have a similar lively DS (#1 child) who thinks sleep is for losers though not quite so bad as your DS, by the sounds of it.

I'm surprised the sling doesn't work but if the baby likes motion have you tried putting her in the pram and rocking her and singing? My Mum showed me this trick and I was surprised it worked, it also gave me a break from the sling.

Also would it matter if you fed very regularly for now? This might reduce the length of each feed. My DS feeds frequently but it does mean more rest for everyone. But then he only tends to feed for 15 mins or so.

Your baby will change sooner or later and won't form habits at this early stage so it's worth trying anything!

Good luck!

I think your DS is very young... Both my DSs went through the 40/45-minute sleep cycle thing probably around 3-4 months. It's very natural as they still haven't learned how to self-settle. But I remember that when DS1 started doing this, it drove me demented! You don't have to feed him every time he wakes up. I would try, say, for 20 minutes to get him back to sleep. If he still doesn't go back down, let him wake, play a bit and see if he wants to go back to sleep. Feed him when he is showing signs of hunger or crying for a feed. Just go with the flow and one day he will surprise you. DS2 is now 6 months old and for the last month or so, is sleeping for longer more frequently. We now get a good 1.5-2 hours out of him, usually twice a day, unless we are out.

completely agree with everything angel1976 says. would be my advice.

Also agree with angel1976 Around about 5 months my DS started to sleep for longer during the day - nothing I did! I remember reading posts saying this would happen at the time - but I did not really believe it would happen! Have faith and try not to stress to much - just do whatever you need to get him to sleep - walk, car, sling etc!

Also, with my DS1, I remembered I used to get so bloody stressed out if he didn't nap the required amount for his age. But you know what? Babies don't die from lack of sleep! It's just one of those things and they self-regulate... Now I am a lot more relaxed with DS2. Yesterday morning he had an hour. We went shopping in the afternoon and he had about 40 minutes in the sling. That's all he had. This morning, he slept for almost 2 hours and another 2 hours in the afternoon. They just make up for it. I know it's easier said than done. But try not to stress, it's important to try and ensure they get plenty of sleep but if they don't, it really isn't the end of the world.

We had the same at this age, I think it's totally normal and I agree it seems that time is the main thing that will help! In the meantime, we also used to put DD in the sling if she couldn't get back to sleep but was still tired. If she was very overtired then yes it was sometimes hard to get her off to sleep in the sling too, but if you can't go outside with her then we found walking round the house in a bouncy way, and also doing a fairly loud "shh, shh" noise, helped to send her off again. Alternatively with DS we sometimes put him in the pushchair if he was still very tired, but that's harder to do once you have two!

Also, if overtiredness building up through the day is a problem, then it can help not to do every nap in bed - usually a good long pushchair (or sling) walk, or a ride in the car, once or twice a day gives them a chance to have a "full-length" nap and catch up on any lost sleep, which then seems to help them settle better next time too.

Eventually you should find he starts to get the hang of it - DD is nearly 12 weeks now and is starting to get there, she has had a few good long naps in bed now, and today was the first time she actually woke up fully but then managed to get back to sleep in her own bed (with a bit of help as I put her dummy back in and "shh"ed her a bit, but still it's progress!).

Thanks. I've almost had to give up on naps in cot as he simply won't however much I try so slings and pushchair walks look like the future. Thanks all for the reassurance. DS is getting far less sleep than is recommended at his age so I'm hoping thats just what he needs - although I thought he might self regulate by having longer sleeps if he'd had a day like you describe Angel1976 but it doesn't seem to happen. I'm trying not to be stressed about it but definitely not suceeding, as you might be able to tell... I suspect the hourly waking at night isn't helping my anxiety!

Suchanamateur My DS2 is 6 months old and yours is only 8 weeks old so don't stress! My DS2 at 8 weeks old had no routine whatsoever. I remember going to a friend's for dinner when he was 4 weeks old and just left him to sleep on and off in his car seat most of the day and night! DS1 was a real PFB and I never let him spent long sleeping in the car seat.

Lack of sleep does make everything seem a million times worse... DS2 has a bout of diarrhea at the moment thanks to teething and we were up on and off last night from about 3.45am onwards and god, I was a real grouch when I got up at 6.15am... Don't forget, every baby is different and yours might just not need that much sleep. Take care, I know what it is like to worry about your baby!

Suchanamateur- my dd was and is still the same at 4 months but despite so many different attempts at trying to get her back to sleep I just decided that we were both getting too stressed out to try and adhere to what is in books or recommended. As written above every baby is different - try just letting him do exactly what he wants for a few days without even trying to get him back and see how you feel. For me, the pressure of not trying to force him to sleep was a massive relief. If what other mums have said, it is quite likely that the sleep cycle gets longer natrually anyway.