Gina Ford - almost there... advice needed

[Shree]

Hi, I need advice regarding routines. I roughly followed the Gina Ford method for my first child and got lucky - he found his own groove and it wasn't too far off from the sleep patterns she explains. It also helped me feel like I knew what to expect as a first time mum but, now I have a second I'm at a complete loss!! Although I have to admit to being a little more relaxed this time - I just can't get a sensible routine working. I need help... please. Ok. So he's 11 weeks, follows 5 feeds, 7am, 10.45am, 2.30pm, 6.15pm and 10.30pm. However, he sleeps from 8.30am until 10am and only wakes to take his next feed, then he sleeps until 2.30pm. He is therefore awake from 7pm until 10.30pm. I have tried playing with him in the morning, changing clothes etc. he's wide awake but just dozes off on his playmat at 8.30am - no dummy required!! I'm worried he will develop bad sleep habits and wake my toddler from his settled routine.

I really need help moving his sleep about - but how do I do it? He's clearly sleeping the right number of hours - just at the worng time. I don't want to do any controlled crying with him - so what do I do? Usually we end up bringing him downstairs after several failed attempts at getting him back to sleep in the evening - and I can see that we are probably just setting things up to fail - but what should I be doing? I know he's just not tired in the evenings - as he has slept so much in the day!

Anyone out there know where I can bring this cycle to an end?

S.

Like you say, you 'got lucky' with your first. Theyre all different and how someone can write a book and expect all babies to follow it is beyond me!

He is only 11 weeks, I doubt I got into a proper until around 5 months. As hard as I tried at around 3 months, its just didnt work. If DS was tired he slept, if he was hungry he fed.

What I mean is, dont beat yourself up about it if it doesnt go exactly to plan just yet, things will even themselves out in time.

Think you are doing really well, my DD1 did a relaxed version of GF fine, DD2 was much harder and I contacted GF a couple of times for advice - e mail address in the back of her books). Someone also told me that the am sleep (8.30am) was an extension of the night sleep so if he's going to sleep at 10.30pm he's just shifted his day. GF says at this stage don't leave them to cry give them food/stimulation etc then try and work out why. When he wakes at 10am can you get him properly awake (even for 20 mins say and then try and extend it daily) ? Also can you stimulate him more at 8.30 (eg get him dressed then so he goes to sleep a bit closer to 9am). Also are you BF ? Often they are awake 7pm-10pm as they are hungry ? Mine anyway - I remember so many nights sitting with DD2 trying to settle her til 9/10pm and giving her endless top ups ! hang in there though, he'll get there and in a 3 months time it'll be a blur - 'specially when sitting up and playing .....!

Hi Shree...

um, unfortunately don't have any suggestions (not very useful am i?) sorry but thought i'd let you know am having same issues with dd!!! so, you're not alone!!!

take care, good luck... oh, when you do crack it, pls let us know!!!

Hi Shree , ditto with K&F ... am goign to watch this thread with interest.

Guard, interesting comment abt the 8.30 nap being an extension of the night nap, as she can sleep way past 10am too , but that is also because she is really wakeful from 5 am onwards too. Also, if GF says do not let them cry, then how are you supposed to settle them without dummies, or nursing or rocking and cuddling ???

Shree ad K&F , as I have been told, hang on in there !

Hi there,

Thank you for the words of encouragement.

We are making progress. It took a few nights of sitting with him from 7pm until 10pm and helping him to sleep through - then he managed to stay awake a bit better in the morning (still only until 8.30am). Things are by no means easy yet(!), but Guard, you are right - he did seem to be in a deep sleep all morning, now he seems to be actually napping 30-45 mins). I still struggle with the lunchtime nap - and have to admit I haven't yet taught him to get himself back to sleep by himself (perhaps he's just a sucky baby). That's my next challenge as I am sure, once he can settle himself he will get better quality sleep during the day and hence cope better during the day.

Thank you again... look forward to any other ways you guys have managed to make things better and how you are getting on.

S.

PS. No email addy for Gina Ford in the back of my book...

THe thing i dont get about G Ford is that she doesnt allow for babies who wont settle - or babies who wake up after 20 minutes from their "sleep which should last no longer than 2 and a half hours" !!!!!! Does anyones baby sleep for a stretch that long in the day??? I gave up her routines after a day and my baby has found his own - he still goes to bed at 7 or 8pm.
Although i do agree with what she says that if a baby wakes at 7am - there is enough time in the day for them to be properly tired and ready for bed by 7pm
Could you try bringing the 10.30pm bed time forward by half an hour a night??

i've got both the contented baby, and the baby whisperer books. dd, now 3, was on gford's routine, but ds,who's 13 weeks is on baby whisperer. he's a much more sleepy baby and tracy hogg allows a bit more sleep during the day. might be worth trying as i've found the main reason our ds is difficult to get down in the evening is when he's over tired. also, this routine suggests to feed, then bath and put to bed, rather than a feed after the bath. we swapped to this as ds was so sleepy after his bath, feeding was waking him up again.

but as my hv says, main problem with following these routines out of these books, is babies can't read!, and gford can be a bit like 'baby boot camp'