DS2 (2 weeks) sleeps in day and feeds in night - how to fix?

[CinnabarRed]

DS's typical day:

Awake at 7 - cluster feed until 9 (BFing)
Sleep 9 - 12
Awake and cluster feeding until 2:30
Sleep 2:30 - 5
Awake and cluster feeding until 7
Sleep 7 - 10
Feed 10 - 10:30
Awake to feed hourly from midnight until 5

Each cluster feed session results in 2 or 3 good sized feeds. Each feed in the night lasts for a good 20 minutes. I have plenty of milk supply, and mostly DS2 winds nicely (although not always).

I'm on my knees looking after DS1 (2.5 years) during the day.

Is there anything I can do to lengthen the time between night feeds? Even 2 hourly rather than hourly would be an improvement. Or do I just have to live with it for now?

Ouch, you poor thing. There's not much you can do, but try taking him outside in the sunlight as early as possible in the morning so he starts to differentiate.

Frankly with hourly feeds at night I'd be cosleeping, too, but I know not everyone's comfortable with that.

I hope you have some help so you can nap a bit during the day, at least on weekends?

To be fair, I think DS2 does differentiate between day and night, in that he doesn't try and cluster feed at night and is not alert in the way he is during the day. It's just so frustrating when I know he can do 3 hours plus.

It's so hard at this age. I guess just try and space out the feeds a little each time. I have found some good baby sleep advice here - Sleepytot

But at 2 weeks, it's probably just a case of knowing it will get better soon. Although that's probably not much help!

I hate this so much. I love DS2 but I wish we hadn't had him.

I don't mean that at all. Sorry.

Aw, you sound really down.
My DD (2.5 weeks) is currently reminding me how terribly tiring the early weeks can be (DS 2.6 years is a good sleeper now but we did have 17 months of struggle to get here).
I am surviving by co-sleeping and a wonderful DH who helps out loads at night, despite the fact a bf.

i bf that is

Poor you, I felt exactly the same at that stage. I thought I'd made a big mistake, wished we'd just stuck with DD1 and thought I was the worst mother ever and would be forever. It has improved soooo much since then (DD2 is 8 weeks now) although still have my moments! DD2 was like this for the first 6 weeks or so, I found cosleeping a lifesaver as I could doze during feeds at least. It def helped to cope with DD1 in the day. Also use tv, snacks etc to mke life easier with toddler. I thought I was losing my mind in the first few weeks and actually posted to that effect but I feel a lot better now. Just do anything to survive and maximise your sleep and in a few weeks you'll feel so much better

Poor you

With the hourly night feeds, is your DS feeding properly or for comfort?

He's feeding properly at night- for around 25 mins each time (which is comparable to the length of his day feeds, being around 35 mins each). But if he doesn't drop off immediately after the feed finishes, for example because the wind doesn't come up easily, then he'll need a couple of minutes of comfort sucking afterwards.

My DS used to feed for ages at night - sometimes 90 mins if I let him... Turned out he had reflux so was feeding for comfort...

Do you switch sides? Or stick to one side during the marathon night feeds? I wondered if you stuck to one side say every 4 hours, might fill him up more as he'll get the fatty stuff.

Also what happens if you don't feed after an hour - can DH resettle?

I think you're right about comfort sucking - we've had some success with changing his nappy more frequently because he seems to have a stony adversion to having wet or dirty nappies. It took us a while to think of it because DS1 didn't give a stuff about the state of his nappies!

I felt like that after ds2 and now we're planning dc3 - crazy!

Could you try a dummy or do you not want to use them?