Breastfeeding led down is the only way she will sleep

[sjbarbs]

Help. My little one is just 6 weeks old, everynight I lie on the bed and feed her until she rolls off asleep. I have tried for hours on end rocking her asleep and putting her down, putting her down awake but nothing works. I know she is still very young, anyone else got this problem, any advice? Also, the only way she will sleep in the day is in my arms or after alot of protesting during a car journaey or buggy ride. When should I worry? Will she learn to fall asleep on her own?

Hi there, my baby is 3 weeks old and up until the past few days she has slept well in her basket. However, for the past few days she will only fall asleep in our arms and has been screaming in her basket. Today she has been lying on me sleeping and again when I put her in her basket she immediatly wakens an starts to cry - she is now in her pram sound asleep! So we are in a smilar situation - although she did sleep well during the night in her basket, so not sure whats going on?!

my baby is also 3 weeks... I read somewhere that you should put them down half awake so they learn to fall asleep on their own...however I have only managed to do this once. most of the time I have to hold her to fall asleep then put her down...

I do not know how to 'teach them to settle themselves' I am feeling your pain and giving sympathy...lets hope someone else has advice or answers..

sjarbs, same here, DS4 is 7 weeks tomorrow.

IMO there is nothing wrong with feeding to sleep a tiny baby like that. In fact it is great to have a Magic Bullet to get them to sleep reliably .

And where they are older there is plenty of time for teaching them to self-soothe if they haven't done so themselves already. I found 'The No Cry Sleep Solution' is quite a good book with suggestions for the older baby (6monts+).

DSs1-3 (ages 7, 6, 2) are all great sleepers and have been from 6-10 months old.
There is no need to worry, just go with the flow and before you know she will not want you so much any more and you will miss it

Really don't worry about it, for now just do what results in the most sleep for both of you.
If, from time to time, you try with the putting down dozy but awake, or rocking instead of feeding to sleep,or whatever it is you want to achieve, she will eventually catch on. If she is falling to sleep easily on the boob right now, I personally would stick to the Magic Bullet, as Pacific says!
The No Cry Sleep Solution is worth taking a look when you get chance.

Your babies are all so young! My DS is 7 months and only in the last 6 weeks has he self settled reliably (but not always). I, however, didn't put him down drowsy/awake til about 5 months. He also has reflux which meant he didn't sleep for long or easily.

The time goes so fast and a lot of how your baby gets to sleep is to do with their temperament.

In the first few weeks it's important that they sleep not how they get there. I'd start to try and get them self settling from 3-4 months (so put down drowsy after a feed, working up to putting down awake). But I think babies can do it from 4-6 months provided you give them the chance.

Beware though - teething, growth spurts, illness etc will mean they'll need a bit of help now and then

Oh enjoy your cuddles. Before you know it they'll be running away in the opposite direction, chasing the cat and too busy screeching for sleepy cuddles.

Can you imagine if the bfing didn't work. Now THAT would be hellish.

It's normal. And isn't forever. Just feed to sleep. Perhaps consider a sling during the day. It'll be very different soon enough.

Thank you all. just some people are telling me i shouldnt be doing that and she will never learn to sleep independantly. I had a fab night sleep last night and it is only necause i breastfeed little one to sleep in bed, she rolls off and we are both out for the count. I am now sat with her in my arms asleep so she does get her daytime naps......and I get lots of precious cuddles!! x

DS used to only sleep at night if I fed him to the point of complete unconsciousness. If I put him down awake he cried. But from about 12 weeks I started to be able to put him down sometimes before he was fast asleep. Now (15.5 weeks) he's pretty good at going to sleep on his own from drowsy, although he generally needs feeding or a dummy to get drowsy in the first place.

A few times lately I've fed him, then changed his nappy etc, and he has managed to go to sleep with just a bit of patting to re-settle him once he's in the cot.

A lot of babies do get easier to settle after 6-8 weeks, or 3-4 months or so.

If you need to feed/rock/whatever baby to sleep and then want to put them down, waiting 15-20 mins may mean they're in a deep enough sleep to be put down. The No-Cry Nap Solution by Elizabeth Pantley has a suggestion to help you get the hang of putting down a baby without them waking & yelling (although I've not tried it myself).

Enjoy those cuddles and don't feel pressured by what other people think you should do.

Def. enjoy those cuddles - just like others have said, they will def. not last forever and there is plenty of time for teaching self settling.

my ds has got better and better at self settling without tears smply because he is growing up and doesn't need to b comatose when he goes down. These past few weeks feeding to sleep is not working and he settles to sleep on his own. in his cot, after playing with a couple of toys that have always been there with him.

Everyone warned - especially those books, but he is 7mo now (it goes SOOO quickly!) fast becoming a little boy and happier and happier about going to sleep on his own.

I too have used the gradual approach in NCSS. Put them down drowsy getting progressively more awake as the weeks go by. If they start to fuss/cry, simply feed him / rock him until he settles... again and again - eventually they understand that bed is a nice place to be and they fall asleep alone and wake up happy too.

(disclaimer - this is just my experience - other babies might be different!)

ruby I've said this many a time - your DS sounds like mine!

My DS only feeds to sleep if something is wrong (teething, cold etc) and gets grumpy if I try patting etc to sleep. So popping him in the cot, letting him flop around etc usually means he gets to sleep so much faster. It's just trusting your instinct - I had a feeling I was making things worse trying to soothe him so put him down to see what happened!

Unfortunately he's not so compliant with day naps yet -there's too much going on so he needs help switching off.

Ah I do miss having a cuddly newborn, I have to say

its true iggly! sometimes he likes a bit of rocking but sometimes he just starts fidgeting - i felt like i was making it worse so i just put him down too!

i agree that naps are more difficult - tired but all so exciting!

Hi, my son is 11 weeks old and in the day he'll only fall asleep in our arms. At night we've started putting him in his cot and he's sleeping for at least 5 hours in one go. After that it's different every night, sometimes feeding after every hour!

In the day though, the minute we put him down he wakes up. So know exactly how you're feeling. Initially we were walking him to sleep as well but have completely dropped that habit since he's becoming so heavy!

Bena - same here. Last 2 nights we have done every hr on the hr, got the HV coming today to chat about it, she is bringing something called mill pond sleep info - I will let you know. It is so hard hey!!! I am sat here with her sleeping soundly in my arms - I so wish I could put her down to catch up on some zzzz's myself x

sjbarbs, there is a 6 week growth spurt which may be partly why she is waking so often at night. DS's spurt started on the dot of 6 weeks and finished by 7.5 weeks.

If your baby only sleeps in your arms in the day, try a sling (a proper fabric sort, not a Baby Bjorn type carrier). It saved my sanity until DS got easier to settle at about 13 weeks. For a month before that it was the only way to get him to sleep in the day. At least you can have a drink / go to the loo / browse Mumsnet while you're holding a sleeping baby.

Thank you angeldog, just got a cloth sling x

Hope it helps! The best advice I had about sling use is that your DD may not like it at first - it may take a few goes to get the hang of. If that's the case, don't stay indoors - go out for a walk. The motion will send her off, and she'll get used to it. The first couple of times I tried the sling, it didn't work as I was only jiggling about indoors.

DS used to cry when going to sleep in the sling, but he stopped as he got the hang of going to sleep a bit better. Now he doesn't even cry, but snuggles down into the fabric. I can now use it indoors too, without having to go for a walk.