Kind of co-sleeping but ready to stop. How?

[llareggub]

DS2 is 1 and is an accidental co-sleeper. Every single night since birth he has ended up sleeping in bed with me, not particularly because of any decision but just because it was the easiest course of action.

Between 8 and 20 odd weeks he slept pretty well and I decided to move him into his own room at around 6 months. Since then he has been extremely unsettled and I usually give up trying to settle him in his own room around midnight and bring him into bed, where he has a good feed before sleeping until 6ish, which I accept is pretty good.

However, I'm shattered and now back in work and frankly we want our bedroom back. I also think by now he should be sleeping through without a feed at midnight but I'd be prepared to put up with that if he'd go back in his cot afterwards.

I suspect that controlled crying would wake-up DS1 who is a nightmare when woken so I want to avoid that. I really don't know where to go from here. Any thoughts?

I wanted to add that of course I've made the bed as safe as possible and we don't smoke or drink. He does sleep when he is with us so whilst I'd normally believe in not breaking something that isn't fixed, I really want my bed to myself again.

I've been here twice.

With DS1 we told him "no bottle in the night" He was just over 12 months, and understood, and didn't ask for a bottle in the night after that. (He had been having 3X 8oz bottles) I do appreciate if you are breast feeding, it may be much harder) The sleeping though was not so easy...it took 6 weeks of settling him back to sleep, and not letting him into out bed. It nearly killed me (actually I nearly killed DH because I was sooo tired) but it worked.

DS2 was easier. I breast fed him during the night until he was 15 months....just sticking him on my boob was easier than trying to settle him. But when he was 18 months, we asked him to sleep through, and he did.

This post probably sounds twatish, but what I'm trying to say is: I've been there, I know how you feel. And try telling him what you are doing, don't expect him to sleep though the night in his cot with out explaining to him what you want.

Thanks, it doesn't sound twattish at all. I remember saying the same sort of thing to DS1 at around 14 months or so when he refused to go to bed at night. DS2 just seems so younger though and we never did the co-sleeping thing with DS1.

His daytime naps are pretty rubbish too.

Thanks for responding; at least I am not alone!

We bought a low double bed for DS1 room when he was 1 (if that's an option for you, if not single). I placed one million pillows around the edges (or it looked that way). When it was sleep time I lay with DS1 until he drifted off (rod for my own back) and he slept there. Upon waking in the middle of the night and if he wouldn't go back to sleep I would pop in there with him until he drifted off. Sometimes I'd be there until the morning and sometimes I would be able to sneak back out again.

What I'm saying is after that long explanation is that if he likes Co-sleeping then instead of going cold turkey maybe you being in the bed as he drifts off would be an alternative. I loved sleep too much to try anything else. Ds1 is now nearly 4 btw and sleeps well. He still likes to snuggle in and drift off after reading a story but I class that as 1 on 1 time that he enjoys where he gets Mum all to himself. Hope that sort of helps.