When will the time come for sleep filled nights?

[wendywoos]

Hi, I am new to mumsnet, joined yesterday. My second daughter is now almost 19 months. She has never slept through the night, although on two accasions I got a 7.30pm til 6.00, which was bliss. I had forgotten what it felt like to fell normal the next day!
I can leave Emily to cry it out at night, and it works for a bit then goes down hill again. You see, she settles back fine when given a bottle of milk/juice, but screams for half hour or more when just left. I did all the sleep methods when she was yound which really helped in getting her down to bed. I realise that she is useing the bottle as a prop to get herself to sleep, much like a dummy. This is why she feels she needs it at night, its my own fault I should have never allowed her to go to bed on a bottle like that, but it seemed the earier option at the time. I was on the Gena Ford website last night and she had posted a reply to someone saying "in my opion a child that isn't sleeping through the night by the age of one, doesn't do so for mant more years" I was gutted at reading that. I just don't know what to do next. Its at a stage where I can't even ask people to baby sit over night because it seems unfair that have to endure the same kind of sleep I have. What to do. Has anybody else out there had a child that woke during the night at a late age and went on to sleep through? If so what sort of age did you get results and what did you do?
I really should go cold turkey, grit my teeth and bare it! I find when I do, night one is bad, tow better, night three goes down hill a bit, but by night four - dramatic improvments . Then as soon as I get somewhere, say down to one wake at 6, she gets a cold or something. We were doing well, then went on holiday last month, now back to square one. I just give in for an easy life. So tired!
I looked after my 10 week old niece that slept at mine, she went down at 7.30, then went through til 5.30, she does usually go to 6.00 , some people really do get it easy!

My DD didn't really get the whole sleep thing until she was 2 and stopped teething. She is now 3.2 and we still have good weeks and bad weeks. We did controlled crying at 18mths which worked to a certain extent and had the added bonus of getting her into a daytime nap routine which she had never done before. How does your DD nap? TBH I would take Gina with a pinch of salt, although there are lots of people who stand by her. We have had marked improvements from ages 2-3. Go with what works for you. By giving her a bottle at night she settles quickly and you get back to bed with minimal interuption. I would say that that is preferable to hours of screaming? But I was happy to get up for 10mins for a drink of water after losing 3-4hrs every night.... Not getting up at all is much better though and night time drinking does have knock on effects when potty training if it becomes a habit. There is no right or wrong here and nothing you must or musn't do. You have to find a happy medium for you and your daughter. Bit vague and waffly I'm afraid, but we still haven't cracked it, so am probably not the best person to give advice!!

I think some kids just take longer to do it than others. None of my three slept through until they were 18-20 mths old. I tried pretty much everything with DS1, got very stressed about it and it was only when I gave up that it became easier to deal with. I put him in a toddler bed so that when he woke up, he could just get up and come and find me, rather than than me having to get up for him.

With DS2 and DD I just assumed from the start that they might not sleep and worked out ways of coping with being woken up.

Don't worry about the GF thing, her opinion is just that, an opinion not fact (and I won't give you my feelings on GF generally )

I do think you need to get rid of the bottle though, but you have to balance whats more important. You can get rid of it now (and be tough - throw them away so you can't backslide!) and have a few crappy weeks, or let things lie and wait for her to grow out of it. Only you can decide what will work best for you.

Thanks for your replys. Generally Emily sleeps well during the day. As a young baby she didn't, little naps here and there using controlled crying too. As time has gone by she has got better. Emi likes to go down at 11.00am and will noramlly sleep between two and three hours. Which is great if your at home. If im out and about she gets her sleep in the car or pushchair, but will never sleep as long. I do find she is more content at night if she has a good kip during the day. I guess thats because she hasn't got over tired. Sometimes when she wakes at night and I have given her the bottle she might not settle after, so I leave her to cry until she does go to sleep. So I think if it works then, to be fare to her too, I should go cold turkey with her. I could wait until she wakes, then I could call out and say "go bub buys emily", which is our bed time word. This way she knows what I mean and she knows im there. There can't be anything worse than a baby calling out for attention and know-one replying, it may make her frightened.
If someone could say" do blahh blahhh blahh" and you'll get results garanteed, it'd do it! Its all the tears, and I am quite strong in leaving her to cry now, but she's still my little baby and I hate to hear her so unset. But I really do have to get a grip on this now for her own sake. You also mentioned possible problems when potty training, well I have started to introduce her to potty trainig this week, and so hteres another reason to get her off of the bottle at night or we're going to have trouble getting her dry at night.thanks xxxx

I reckon you'll have no luck until you give up the night bottle altogether. I can really relate as my dd was still waking up at 18 months for night-time breastfeeds. I never tried the thing with the water or juice but I doubt it would work as they are still getting something rather than learning to just go back to sleep.
It's crap, though, that a babe of 12 months who doesn't sleep thru won't do so for years. I got around this with the 'crying it out' method eventually but you have to get tough and not relapse into night feeds of any kind (unless of course babe is sick).
Maybe your child has an emotional attachment to the bottle? Certainly mine had one to the breast. You might find that she won't get over this unless you get her onto a cup fullstop, in the daytime as well. 'Crying it out' was never an unqualified success for me until I weaned my daughter from the breast entirely. She would go well for up to two months and then revert to night wakes until I weaned her. I am guessing that a bottle is analogous to the breast in this respect: it's a psychological attachment that the babe needs to get over if she is to learn to sleep through.
I guess what I am saying is: wean her from bottle if you are really serious about getting her to sleep through! At 19 months she should be old enough to handle it.