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Sleep

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Original poster

Too anxious to put 16 wk DD down...........HELP!

24 replies

sleepymummyzzzzzzzz · 15/04/2010 21:43

I let my 16 wk dd sleep downstairs until i go to bed and then she comes up with me and sleeps in my bed. Is this crazy? i'm starting to think so after seeing other threads! whenever i've put her in her cot (which is in my room)i end up sitting next to her making sure she is breathing! she will sleep from 8.30/9pm til 2/3am when she wakes for a feed. I have occasionally put her in her cot earlier than this, when i have visitors and i use the baby monitor- i have this clamped to my ear just in case anything happens and to check her breathing.
It sounds so silly when i read this back to myself. when i speak to other mums i just pretend i put her down just like everyone else, i really want to relax and be able to do it just feel really scared.
She is a happy baby, feeding well and is a good weight, has anyone else had this problem?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

emkana · 15/04/2010 21:46

I was the same with all my three, give yourself time, as time progresses you will find it easier to relax.

yellowbutterfly · 15/04/2010 21:47

Sweeties, you are normal and just love your baby IMO xx

lukewarmcupoftea · 15/04/2010 21:50

Nope (I couldn't get them into their own rooms fast enough!), but I wouldn't let what other people do worry you. If you're happy (and your DH/DP is happy) with spending that amount of time monitoring her, and she's sleeping well where she is, then what's the problem? You've got to do what you feel comfortable with - as you say, there's no point putting her upstairs if you then jump at every murmur. She won't be little for very long....

Ladyhaha · 15/04/2010 21:53

I know exactly how you feel. I've got an Angelcare monitor with a sleep sensor mat which is really reassuring. I think I'd go mad with worry without it.

sungirltan · 15/04/2010 21:56

you're not crazy, just a caring mum.

dd (6 months) started off sleeping in her basket in the living room, then basket in our bedroom and then eventually in her own cot. nevertheless i have to check on her about 30 times in between putting her down and going to bed myself, with both bedroom doors open and the baby monitor on.

you will calm down eventually but do it at your own pace

hairymelons · 15/04/2010 21:59

It took me months to relax about DS sleeping in another room- I couldn't believe that he'd remember to keep breathing all night, y'know without me there to remind him!

Got easier as he got bigger. Don't worry about what other people do- 16 weeks is teeny tiny and if it makes you feel better, keep doing it.

BTW, everyone pretends they are more relaxed than they actually are.

chiccadee · 15/04/2010 22:01

Completely normal - a loving, mother by the sound of it.

Co-sleeping is what most of the world do with their babies. If you are interested in support or just want to check the safe co-sleeping guidelines, check out this thread.

Best of luck.

waitingforbedtime · 15/04/2010 22:02

I did this too and ds made it worse by holding his breath in his sleep until I was frantic and then breathing again - nothing wrong with him just the way he is!

Youre normal whatever that may be.

cassell · 15/04/2010 22:22

Completely normal! I've lost count of the number of times I woke (and still do sometimes) at night worried that ds had stopped breathing and had to check him even when he was in his carrycot right next to me. I kept him in our room until he was 7mo and even since he's been in his own room if he was slightly ill or anything I end up sleeping on the floor in his room just in case his temp goes up/stops breathing etc... But it does get easier as they get older and you worry less. Ds is now 1yo and I'm much more relaxed than I used to be so don't stress and do whatever works for you and your dd!

Original poster

sleepymummyzzzzzzzz · 15/04/2010 22:25

Thank you, i think it is other people making me anxious to be honest.
I think being a single parent from day one (her father hasnt even seen her- but thats a different story!) has meant i have been able to please myself and do what i've felt comfortable with, plus i havent had anyone else to think about- just me and my perfect little one :-)

thanks chiccadee- that thread is helpful!

OP posts:

wukter · 15/04/2010 22:26

Normal! I remember the anxiety of the early days. It will wear off (hopefully). My DD is 10 months and not long in her own room. She sleeps much better in it but I still wake up a couple of times a night (if she doesn't) and sneak out and check her. If you are happy and only worried about what other people do just do what you need to do for yourself.

PiratePrincess · 15/04/2010 23:12

DS1 aged 10 weeks fell asleep on my arm. I stayed still for 3 hours as I didn't want to wake him!

He is now 7 years old and has a younger brother or sister. No way would I do that now...

You're normal. Precious first born and all that

AitchTwoZone · 15/04/2010 23:14

i did that with both of mine, they are SO LOVELY, why on earth wouldn't you want them with you? (plus it's the most up to date govt advice so it's a win-win).

Missus84 · 15/04/2010 23:15

If you think about it, human beings have evolved to have their small babies within arms reach at all times - it's modern society that thinks babies should sleep away from us.

If you're happy and your baby is happy, keep on doing what feels most comfortable for you.

MillyMollyMoo · 15/04/2010 23:21

Entirely normal exhausting behaviour.

Defluff · 15/04/2010 23:23

I was like that with my pfb dd. Checked on her constantly and couldn't sleep for fear something would happen to her in the night. Terribly anxious. I think its totally normal but I would say try and relax if you can (I know easier said than done!).

With my dd2, now 14 weeks, I'm much less stressed about it. She sleeps in her basket downstairs till I go to bed then sleeps next to me in her moses basket (as did her sister) but I'm not trying to stay awake to check on her all night though. I do still do that thing occasionally where I pat her cheek to try to make her move so I can check she really is breathing!

If it makes you and her happy then keep on. Everyone is like this with a new baby I think, just enjoy her

InmaculadaConcepcion · 20/04/2010 20:07

Another anxious mum here! I got a Respisense breathing monitor - great investment, gives me enough peace of mind that I sleep much better now.

whittywan · 20/04/2010 20:12

Normal, normal, normal. It's what I do too and I love it.

BlackFlyInYourChardonnay · 20/04/2010 20:21

Normal verdict here too!

I was on my own when my DD was born, and totally get where you're coming from when you say you only have you and your DD to please!

So make the most of it and enjoy her!

legscrossed · 20/04/2010 20:38

get an angelcare.......... but I still go and see her all the time

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 20/04/2010 20:45

I was totally the same with DS (now 4) I would put him to sleep in his own room, but be up and down the stairs every 20 minutes to check he was still breathing!

My sister gave me an angelcare monitor for DD and it gave me such peace of mind.

(Although it has nearly given me a heart attack a couple of times when it has gone off because dd is scrunched at the bottom of her cot).

I still use it now and DD is 15m

InmaculadaConcepcion · 21/04/2010 15:58

The Respisense is cool because it tucks into the waistband of the baby's nappy, so you're less likely to get a false alarm than with one that is a sensor in a sheet. In our case, even when it's come off the waistband, it still sits against the baby's body, so continues to work okay. Also, it means you can use it wherever your LO is sleeping (including in with you, if you want to) because the sensor is attached to the baby, not the bed.

Anyway, check it out - sounds like something like that or the Angelcare would be a real help to you. Both are priced in the 70-80 quid bracket. The Respisense only monitors breathing not sound, so if you want a sound monitor too, you'd need to get that separately.

fhutts · 22/04/2010 20:18

Yep totally normal although like others we have the Angelcare monitor with the breathing pad under the matress. When she was in her moses we also used it in there. (just make sure wire is tucked away so you don't trip on it)

littler1 · 27/04/2010 00:14

I have a maws (tomme tippee) sensor mat and a video monitor! you can get them cheap off ebay if money is tight. They are also doing one of the sensor monitors (cant remeber which) in the asda baby event for £40.

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