controlled crying getting worse...my poor dd

[icantgetnosleep]

so since birth my 15mth dd has co-slept and bf pretty much all night.

desperate for some change after hours spent trying to settle in cot, waking for hours to play in the middle of the night, constant feeding all night, grunpyness in the daytime (both me and her) not settleing for anyone but me...etc etc i started controlled crying. We are on night 6 and it seems to be getting worse, everyday she wakes around 2am and the last 6 nights have been as follows:

night1-longest cry 45min
nihgt2-longest cry 3 hours
night3-longest cry 5min
night4-longest cry 5 min
night5-longest cry 1 hour
night6-longest cry 1 hour

and tonight it has taking 20mins of screaming to get here to sleep after less than 5mins the last few days...

the fact that she only wakes once in the night is a massive improvement on the 15 or so times she was befor, but she is STILL crying loads its breaking my heart to hear her after such a gentle and loving routein until the last week. I really dont no if this is going to work but if i give up now will that be worse as will be back to square one and all that crying for nothing

i read the ncss and would love to do that but im just so tired and my dp is not supportive and gets pissed off saying it is all my fault for bf and co-sleeping, as i didnt do it with my ds and he sleeps perfectly.

argh... anyone got any ideas/ had any sucsess??

should she still be screaming after 6nights? it seems so wrong

i no people will prob trhink im a b*h for doing cc but so do i

any help would be greatly appreciated

You're not a b*ch, you're tired and desperate and I have every sympathy for you!

Maybe CC was not the right route for you both, if you BF and co-slept perhaps it is too much too soon? Have you read this?

I can't comment on CC because we didn't do it. But DS only started sleeping through around 16 months and still doesn't many nights, but I decided not to worry about it and just bring him into the spare bed when he wakes... we all sleep better and I'm sure he'll get better at sleeping as he gets older...

Are you doing strict 2 minute increases? Eg first cry 5 mins, next 7 etc? In the toddler taming book he seems to think this aspect is crucial.

Can't help you beyond that, sorry, as I've only had to do it for one night at a time (but we weren't trying to change routines so drastically as you are).

By the way, much sympathy and no you are not a whatever, you're just a mum trying to do the best for her child. Good luck, you will get there in the end.

We did the Dr Jay Gordon night weaning thingy first off when DS was 14mo. He's 21 mo now and has only recently started sleeping through regularly so it's not exactly a quick fix.
If the CC is breaking your heart or doesn't seem to be working you could step back from it. Maybe try the night weaning first, then get a bit stricter about the going to bed bit later?
There is nothing wrong with you trying to sort your DD's sleep out by the way. We never did CC, mainly because DS is a puker and was always sick within seconds of starting to howl and he was also been constantly ill or teething between 6 and 12 months. Otherwise, believe me we would have tried it.
I know lots of people have good results with CC, but there are exceptions. It's always worth a shot but if it's not working for you don't worry about giving up.
Hopefully someone will be along with some practical CC advice for you soon!

Our local sleep clinic recommend doing a gentle form of CC where you go in every minute instead of leaving it for 5, 7, 9 etc mins.

When I did this with my ds it had mixed results. Intially it didn't work at all, but this was because (I subsequently realised) his teeth were coming through and he was in a great deal of pain. Once the pain was over, it worked well. He was bloody cross that I left him, but he wasn't anxiously distressed, and for me that made it a lot easier to cope with.

I think CC can work well, but if there is some underlying problem (e.g. pain, illness etc) then it won't. It's horrible to have to do, but when you're at the end of your tether, IMO, it can be the best of a number of bad options.

I did CC much too late with my DS. We had almost 3 years of getting up in the night before I did it.

Make sure that there is no other reason for her crying. Not teething, hungry, ill.

It will be a big change for her to go from cosleeping and bf to being alone in her cot and expected to sleep.

Are you putting her into her bed awake? I found that helped as they then know where they are when they waken up.

Agree with neolara - I think most supporters of CC say not to leave for longer than 10 mins at a time - otherwise it becomes Cry it out - which is a completely different strategy. I had pretty good results with CC, but never left DD longer than 10 mins at a time.

Dr. Jay Gordon/NCSS/etc. was pants. Finally, when DS was nearly 3, I night weaned by telling him no nursing overnight and then putting him on the floor when he didn't accept no for an answer in the night. He only ever cried for 5 minutes and always got back into bed with me, cuddled up and went straight back to sleep. That was over 6 months ago and he'll still sometimes ask to nurse in the night and still wakes up at least once, usually twice (~midnight to wee, ~4:30am to come in with us).