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Sleep

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Original poster

Feeding to sleep

15 replies

Cheezywotsit · 07/04/2010 22:14

Hi all

ok - so every parenting book I have read makes it clear that feeding to sleep is A Bad Thing ans that you should put baby to sleep in the cot sleepy but awake, but seriously, how does this work ??! My little un, unless comatose from milk starts to cry the minute is put to sleep not fast asleep iyswim...

Do they ever grow out of it? I was quite a laissez faire mummy but worried now that I've cocked the whole thing up and baby will need boobs to sleep for years to come...

Thanks

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thisisyesterday · 07/04/2010 22:16

yeah they do! i've fed all of mine to sleep and they're fine

PigeonPie · 07/04/2010 22:18

thisisyesterday - when did yours wean? DS2 still feeds to sleep at 2y2m and I'm starting to want to stop now!

ches · 08/04/2010 02:10

IME, if you feed to sleep and your baby then doesn't sleep through the night before one week old, the feeding to sleep gets blamed. In reality, some babies sleep well and others don't. It's a small number of babies for whom the feeding to sleep is the cause of the night waking -- just like there's a small number of babies with dummies who wake the instant it falls out.

When I caved to the pressure to stop feeding to sleep I lost peaceful, quick bedtimes and gained horrific hour and a half long screaming fests. My son couldn't sleep because he was not even six months old yet and was pulling up to stand, crawling and starting nursery all in one week. I started feeding him to sleep again a few months later and again, it made no difference to night waking.

MrsWobbleTheWaitress · 08/04/2010 06:17

Just feed them to sleep and enjoy it. Really special, warm cuddly time that, despite what the books say, will not last! Of course your 18yo is not going to still need feeding to sleep! It's a stupid theory and based on the idea that we all want our babies to grow up and be independent long before they're actually meant to.

Enjoy it - seriously. I fed all mine to sleep and just loved the warm cuddles. Now my 6yo doesn't want anyone near her when she goes to sleep, 5yo would like cuddles but is on the top bunk so settles for adult presence...which is there anyway as 3yo still needs it. 1yo feeds to sleep downstairs with me while DH is cuddling, reading to and loving the other three upstairs. Low stress, takes less time, less crying, and DH and I are more than happy to be spending this time with them as before long we'll be wondering where the hell they are of an evening!

EightiesChick · 13/04/2010 21:57

When should you stop feeding them to sleep though? My DS is 15 mos and I still feed him to sleep but am now watching Panorama: Spoilt Rotten and am worried that I'm wrecking his teeth! He has quite a few teeth. I do brush them before he goes up but then he has his feed.

Milsy · 15/04/2010 16:13

I think it's a good idea to stop feeding them to sleep once they have teeth. Do what you normally do, but swap the last bottle with a teeth clean before bed.

It's tough love I guess...?

ChocolateMoose · 21/04/2010 12:26

I stopped feeding DS to sleep at bedtime at about 6 1/2 months, and he will go to sleep quite easily lying on his side with me shushing him. Still feed to sleep in the night and for naps though (he's 8 months now and won't nap unless fed or in buggy).

MrsMotMot · 21/04/2010 12:33

I thought the jury was out on bf and tooth decay- surely if breastmilk caused terrible tooth decay this would be plain stupid from an evolutionary perspective?

I breastfeed DS (17m) to sleep at night and then when he wakes in the night as well. I do wonder how long I'll be doing it for but... it just feels the normal, natural and right thing for us...

babyphat · 21/04/2010 21:17

i bf dd to sleep but she sleeps through since i night weaned a few weeks ago, so don't think the two are inextricably linked

on the tooth decay, i think that milk is a problem for teeth if there is food left on them - so if you brush teeth after solid food then feeding to sleep shouldn't be a problem

the link here has a good explanation at para 6
www.kellymom.com/bf/older-baby/tooth-decay.html

sallyJayGorce · 21/04/2010 21:19

I ff mine to sleep, very cuddly and lovely. Would have bf them but it didn;t work out. Didn't think we should miss out of the cuddles and cosiness though.

CarGirl · 21/04/2010 21:25

I didn't feed mine to sleep I did pick up put down with them instead. No crying involved the slightest noise and they'd be picked up until calm again. When I did it with my 5 day old it only took 3 naps/sleeps and then she was happy to lie in her cot awake and go to sleep without being fed or cuddled.

HeadFairy · 21/04/2010 21:36

I fed ds to sleep until feeding no longer sent him off to sleep (at about 18 months) but by then he would have his feed and would be sleepy when he went in to his cot, then I'd turn on his musical light projector thing and he'd drift off on his own. I think he was old enough by this time to work out that a) I wasn't going to abandon him and b) if he closed his eyes he would fall asleep.

I fully intend on doing the same with dd. DS is such a brilliant sleeper it can't be that damaging. At 2.7 I can read him a bedtime story and leave him in his bed flicking through a book and know that in 15 mins he'll have fallen asleep with no effort from me.

TabithaTwitchet · 21/04/2010 21:49

I fed to sleep for as long as it worked, probably around 18 months DD would still be awake when she had finished feeding - I was horrified, as it had been my secret weapon for getting her to bed at a reasonable time.

We than had 6 months of bedtime struggles where DH or I had to lie beside her on our bed until she drifted off and we could surreptitiously lower her into her cot - if we tried the "sleepy but awake" thing she would scream the house down.

Then when she turned 2 we bought her a bed and a nightlight and she hasn't needed either of us at bedtime since .

hairymelons · 21/04/2010 21:58

Fed DS to sleep until we stopped BFing last week! He's 21mo. Have also intermittently tried putting him down awake for a few months now - he now says 'cot' if he wants to lie down and drift away or 'cuddle' if he wants to be in our arms. We prefer 'cuddle' because it takes 5 minutes, whereas he'll roll around, chat, sing etc in his cot for aaages before he drifts off.

He's been a rubbish sleeper until recently but I don't think it was the feeding to sleep so much- he just always needed lots of reassurance in the night. When he falls asleep now, he says 'help!' which means he wants his back rubbing as he drifts off. I wouldn't change our lovely bedtimes for anything. I know he won't want us there at all soon and, although it'll be easier. I think we'll miss watching him fall asleep.

MrsMotMot · 22/04/2010 14:44

It's so interesting how different things work for different people/babies- CarGirl I tried pick up put down when I was feeling pressure to 'sort' DS's sleeping out and it was dreadful- just did not work for us at all!

TabithaTwitchet and Headfairy oh my god you have both made me very afraid... bf=sleep at the moment! It's like magic!

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