it's nearly 3 am. up yet again with dd. How do I change this before I collapse?

[ErnestTheBavarian]

So dd goes to bed at 7.30/8.

All too often, say 3 or 4 nights a week she wakes up about 12 and just screams and screams and screams and screams and screams and screams and screams until I finally give up and get her up.

Then about 5 ish she might go to sleep, leaving me with about 2 or 3 hours sleep a night.

I am really depressed about it. The kids are on holidays, so I have 4 to cope with all day with no respite.

The amount of day time sleep she has, the time of her nap, nothing seems to make any impact.

She will be 2 in June btw.

I have tried cc so going in every 5 mins, min. contact etc she just gets angrier and angrier, screaming the house down and waking up dss & dh. I have tried just ignoring (v. hard). Honestly when she starts up it's like a knife in my heart.

Tell me somebody please how to deal with this.

She is my 4th, but I never had anything like this with ds1, 2 or 3.

I cannot live on 2 or 3 hours sleep.

Has this been going on all the time? Or is it recent enough that it could be, say, molars coming through or an ear infection? Sorry, if you've got 4 you've probably thought of those things, but it was my first thought.

Honestly at 2 I'd leave her to it. It will be awfull and hard but will work in the end

on and off for a while. I have taken her to the docs several times hoping he'll say ear infection, but she's then declared fit. ds2 has had many many ear infections so that is never far from my mind. I wish I had one of those gadgets so I could have a quick peek and know. Half tempted to go to docs just to be sure (again). She has had a cold (last week) but that's all but passsed now.

Did give her nasal spray and a bit of neurofen tonight but didn't make any difference.

Hadn't thought of molars tbh.

But if it is teeth, I just have this nightmare to look forward to every night indefinately?

Do I just sit up with her for hours or leave her to scream? I genuinely don't know what to do, but I know I will crack under this before long.

I cannot wit till she can talk

I feel your pain, work, stress, relationship and screaming background noise! All helps hey, it does pass, don't fear, just watch the drug intake to calm levels.

Feeding baby so typing not great. Rapid return method from no cry sleep solution worked for us. Does she calm down if you comfort her? Does she want you to stay?

High twofalls, thanks. What does this mean? "Rapid return method from no cry sleep solution worked for us".

If I go into her room to do the cc thing she gets hysterically angry.
She wants to be up.

I tried bringing her into bed with me. She doesn't want to be in bed. She sits on my, climbs all over me. She's wandering round now singing.

And I'm thinking how fun today is going to be with 4 kids to look after.

If so then leaving her for literally 30 seconds (say you are popping to the loo ircsomething) and then going back to reassure her you are going back. Gradually youeave the room for longer periods of time but because she knows you will always ce back she wi stY calm. Eventually she will go to sleep. I haven't described it welll but it is called rapid return and is from no cry sllep solution for toddlers which is great book.

Sorry one finger typing. Have you tried putting a story cd on for her? This worked for dd at this age. Rapid return was great for us but dd wanted comfort and for me to stay so maybe not so great for you

Twofalls is very right, this will work, but you must start it on good terms! So try and raise spirits first. good luck

That might be worth a try at some point.

Just answering your prev. Q has made me realise - she napped from 10 am till noon (normally noon till 2), so she went from 12 till 8 pm with no sleep, then slept from 8pm till midnight. Now she's up and about full of beans (it's almost 4 am here).

I'm confused why she's awake and wanting to be up. Why is she not knackered. I know I am, and feeling quite tearful about fast approaching morning.

Saying that she has just yawned, so I might try and put her down soon, so if I don't reply, that's why.

Ime trying to analyse why just frustrates you even more! She has just got into a habit. Rapid return with a story cd worked for us bur it is not a quick fix and needs you to be consistent and comittes. It changes my life tho! I really feel for you. Will try to find a dew threads tgat talk about this method in morning.

thanks twofalls. Your lo still v. little? You are tf or the assault story, non? Been lurking. Good luck with that.

Have just put her in bed. She complained when I went into the room, but I fed her and put her down. so far not a sound, so will attempt to go to bed myself now then. At ten past 4

No, I speak too soon. She is screaming.

Yes that is me! Dd1 is 4 and was a terrible deeper until I found the no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth pantley. Dd2 is 6 weeks and seems to feed all might at the moment. I hope you get her settled soon. It'd awful.

thanks tf, good luck with dd2. Hope you're managing to rest.

dd finally went down at 4.30- I crawled into bed, only to find the bloody cat had got in. I as not pleased to be disturbed again I can tell you.

dd was then up and about this morning like nothing had happened (didn't sleep in or anything). Is that not weird?

firsttimestepdad have you also ried this methpd? I've never heard of it before.

a friend recently went through a patch of what she thought was night terrors with her nearly 2 year old which sounds very similar to yours. Except her were at random times overnight.

With night terrors the advice is to rouse them 10 - 15 minutes before they usually wake to reset their sleep pattern - could be worth a go?

My friend couldn't do that as the timings were completely random so she tried Bachs rescue remedy which apparently worked a treat!

thanks blow.

DOn't think it's night terrors (she doesn't seem scared...?)

I think I need rescuing though.

All I can say is ds did this for about 4 months - he would wake at 2/3 and stay awake until 6/7 then sleep for a couple fo hours. he just wanted to play but would cry and cry if he wasnt allowed.

He just stopped one night, we didnt have a magic trick to stop it, only thing we DID do was not allow him out of his room at all once he ahd gone to bed. No matter what.

interested in what you have to say, waiting. So, did you actually go into him? If she had a single bed in there I'd be tempted to go in and lie down in there with her.

If I knew for sure she wasn't ill (ear infection eg) and I knew she would stop after 2 nights I could be hardened enough to leave her to cry. But there's always the doubt and fear. Did your ds just get up and play then bwn 2 & 6? What did you do with him during those hours?

She has always been a crap sleeper. I am still bf. Until recently (say Jan, 18 months old) she was still waking 2 or 3 times a night for a feed. Then she got ill (ear infection, cold) and it led to her waking every 2 or 3 hours. It was killing me, so we got tough on her, tried cc. After say 3 nights she slept through. OMG the bliss that felt.

Now though we have the situation where oddly, she either sleeps through (still a novelty) or she's literally up all night. So I dread going to bed, not knowing which of the 2 extremes it will be.

This might be off the mark... but is she eating enough? I know my DDs dont sleep well if they havent eaten properly during the day.

We have the same rule as waitingforbedtime about once you are in bed you stay in your room unless your leg is falling off (or similar). DD2 went through a stage of wanting to go come into our bed at stupid o clock and this drove me to distraction as she is a bit like a restless octopus. We found leaving the landing light on for her helped. Not sure if any of this is helpful.

I dont think I could just leave either DD to cry it out...

mrspink, I was wondering that last night too, as she kept going to the fridge. But then the focus of her attention was her chocolate rabbit, so inconclusive.....

Will keep an eye on it. We do tend to eat late, and I always try to give her as much as she will eat. Maybe I should move dinner time earlier (not easy tbh but if it helped I'd do anything).

She clearly understands a lot, but I think explaining to her she can get up and play but has to stay in her room is a bit beyond her capabilities, so how do I achieve this?

I also can't leave her to cry - 1st from a leaving her to cry pov, but also cos she wakes up her 3 brothers and dh, and probably the entire bloody street.

I would say 2 things perhaps she just doesn't need much sleep and they day time nap as to go I'm sure you well need respite from her during to the day so not a nice thought.

My super non-sleeping child turned out to be producing too much adrenalin so I got treatment for that but under 2 is probably a bit young to get her tested for that!

He didnt have toys in his room (still doesnt at 3!) as whilst he's a pain in the arse little I want to get it across that bedtime and bedroom is for sleeping.

I did go in to him, I could never do cc and I dont think he'd respond well to it. I went in to him, told him it was sleepy time and sung to him etc and cuddles etc - I knwo this would go against what the 'books' would say to do but its all that worked for us or he got so so so upset he'd never sleep. I didnt allow boisterous play or anything though and like I said never, ever out his room. He did used to come downstairs with me but then he'd wake up properly, see his toys, go mental and never want to sleep ever again!

Hope thats made some sense. I really think the 'stay in the room unless its on fire' method is the way to go.

car irl, I would happily drop the nap, but she does seem to be so tired (even the day after she's slept through) so not sure.

My boys were so much easier - self weaned at 9 months, all sleeping through at under a year. They have their own little moments, but sleep has never been a biggie until now...

So plan of action

• drop/reduce nap to max say 1 hour?
• bring dinner time earlier eg 6? and make sure she eats loads.
• then try rr (really not sure on this - going in to her seems to makes her angrier and scream more) wtf do I do at migninht when she's screaming . I see the logic of not letting her out, but then what do I do? The options are go in to her myself or leave her?

Can you get your dh to help you and take it turns at night? He needs to agree to do exactly the same as you though.

I guess you carry on with rr and ignore the screaming. It sounds like she will be a tough cookie to crack from her point of view she is used to sleeping when she wants to sleep and playing when she wants to play, suits her fine!

dh no help. first he doesn't wake up when she cries (not unless she's going for ages) and by that time I'm wide awake anway, plus he works long hours in stressful job. I'm knackered and still in pj unable to function - he couldn't do that, so I don't resent him for it. Plus he is firmly of the completely ignore her and leave her to scream, whether that's for 10 mins or 4 hours camp, something which I can't do.

so rr - spell it out to me & I'll give it a go.

Thank you