My DD has always been an appauling sleeper but we've slowly chipped away at some of the 'bad' things and improved things though for the last year or so we've been stuck in the same position. She goes to bed without any bother and gets to sleep fine (sometimes plays a little) but wakes several times a night crying and can't get back to sleep.
Some nights she sleeps through (a few a month at best) so we know she can. Some nights she wakes lots for 5 mins. However most nights she wakes and simply can't get back to sleep. She doesn't chat, won't tell us what is wrong really and isn't mucking about, just cries and tries to sleep. I either go in and out to her to reassure her (typically she cries every 20 mins) or lie beside her where she tosses and turns, goes into REM sleep, wakes, goes into REM sleep etc until 2-3 hours passes and she has a meltdown and sleeps from exhaustion.
I'm reasonably confident she's not just arsing us about and I'm fairly confident that it's not habit as she does sleep through now and again and her pattern changes. She has eczema, and we've always blamed that (she's often scratching) but it's great at the moment and she's still as bad. Antihistamines have done nothing for her and don't make her drowsy.
She doesn't nap and hasn't done so for over a year. She could probably do with it as she's shattered but always struggled with napping.
I've driven myself mad with sleep deprivation (though the worst thing is not knowing what sort of night lies ahead!) I've read every book, tried every technique (though not for some time) and tried a hotter room, cooler room, different duvets, different rooms, different bedtimes, more exercise, less exercise, more fresh air etc. She stayed with my parents last night and gave my mum a night of hell. When I told her she wouldn't be going back until she started sleeping better she sobbed and said she didn't mean to and didn't know what was wrong.
I've made an appointment with my GP (not for 3 wks!) to speak to her. From what I've read, our options at the age 3+ stage are "stronger sedating antihistamines", "sleep clinic referral" (private one will see her now she's 3) or "behavioural training". The training would be controlled crying really. I'm not sure I can go through it again. I did it for days a few times before and she only ever fell asleep from exhaustion after hours and being sick etc and things never improved. I'm not sure I could do it again.
I just want things sorted for her (she'll start school next year) and for DS (who is tired from being woken too, he's 4.5) and DH and I's marriage!
Is it possible she'll just grow out of it sometime? Or do I need expert help? The sleep clinic referral would be good but they generally don't take NHS patients so we'd be forking out privately. I just really need a cure and some sleep. Any experiences or suggestions would be really welcome.