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Anyone with experience of night terrors?

9 replies

katieskids · 29/03/2010 14:42

Hi, just wondered if anyone could help out with the reasons behind my ds's massive screaming session in his sleep? My ds is 16m old and always wakes at least once in the night. Last night was quite scary as he was crying uncontrollably in his sleep and I couldn't get through to him. I picked him up and usually that calms him, but he thrashed about in my arms as if in severe pain, I tried speaking softly and calmly to him but that made no difference. My DH took over and very gradually the sobs subsided and he seemed to 'come round'.
Can anyone explain why this happened and what could trigger it again.
Many thanks

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mjinhiding · 29/03/2010 14:44

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AntoinetteOuradi · 29/03/2010 14:47

My DS used to do this, only he would be thrashing and screaming. His eyes would be open, but he wouldn't even see us. We used to take him downstairs and turn all the lights on; sometimes we'd carry him kicking and screaming round the garden. Eventually he would 'come to', and would be able to talk to us. We would say 'we are putting you back to bed now', and that would be the end of it. It was horrendous. He was certainly doing it at 16 months; the last episode was around his fourth b'day. I don't know if we should have done anything different, though!

LowLevelWhinging · 29/03/2010 15:01

Yes my DS used to do this from about the same age. the first couple of time are really distressing aren't they?

He used to scream, thrash and cry, but like you say, you just can't get through to him. I did a bit of reading around the internet and it seems that they don't remember it afterwards and it's not actually doing them any harm - it's more upsetting for us!

Once I knew this we realised that the only thing we could do is sit with him and wait it out. There's nothing you can do to stop/shorten it, and they don't seem to even know that you're there do they? I used to just sit next to the cot ready to comfort him and tuck him in when it eventually stopped.

With our DS they seemed to happen when he was feeling stressed about things. He used to be really scared about fireworks and most of the terrors happened in those weeks around bonfire night when there's random fireworks going off at night. He is now 4 and he hasn't had one now for probably about 18 months.

DP used to have them as a child/teenager and they were also connected to stress - things like Christmas/birthday excitement was enough to trigger them.

newmomma · 30/03/2010 10:49

My son has just got over a stage of night terrors - he was approx 12 months when they started.

Same story - eyes wide open, screaming, thrashing, didn't want to be held/put down... Nothing calmed him down. It took about 4 hours to get him to stop screaming on several occasions.

I spoke to the HV who said they're quite common and there unfortunately isn't much you can do do stop them. Apparently they usually coincide with a period of developmental change. My son started walking on his 1st birthday and that was pretty much exactly when they started. I just hadn't put 2 and 2 together.

Anyway - my advice...

We did as some other people have suggested - bring him downstairs, telly on, lights on because it was the only way he would stop freaking out. It worked and finally he would be calm enough (and awake by that stage, I think) to go back to sleep).

After three weeks of 2-4 hours stints trying to calm him down - I decided not to bring him out of his room anymore, but try and calm him down in his nursery. I kept a store of books in his nursery (he loves them so they were a great help to stop the sobbing) and used to read him books over and over again in the dimmed lights of his nursery.

It then started to take only 20 mins to calm him down. Hooray!

The problem we then encountered was that although he was calm and quiet - he was used to playing in the living room with Mummy and Daddy until he felt tired again - so we had to do another period of sleep training to get him back to understanding that it was night-time, not play time. And that he'd have to cope with just one of us.

Finally he went through a short period of waking up grizzling; a far cry from the terrifying night screams we'd experienced and he'd very quickly put himself back to sleep.

Last point - I also cut his sugar intake right back at the same time. We'd crept into giving him bits of icecream, cake, anything nice we were eating and I truly believe it had an effect. After we stopped the sugar things quickly returned back to normal. About a month ago my MIL gave him some cake and I remember saying 'if we're up at 3am I'm going to phone you up and tell you!' - and bugger me... we were. We had three more nights of terrors. So now - I just stick to 'baby/children' desserts with minimal sugar and he seems much much better.

The thing to remember is - it feels like the end of the world while they're happening but the whole episode was over in about 6 weeks. And it's quickly forgotten.

I'm sure I'll regret saying this but he's been sleeping through 11-12 hours every night since we got it sorted, so it doesn't affect them forever. Although I'm sure he'll have another episode at some stage or another.

Try not to listen to some people who tell you its because they're starting to remember things from the daytime in their dreams, or whatever - I used to get so upset wondering why his life was so bad suddenly that he would wake up in such a state. I truly believe it has no relevance with conscious behaviour. DS1 is a sunny, happy child normally but the 'night terror' child was like something out of 'The Exorcist'.

Sorry for the massive post - but I hope some of it helps. Best of luck.

Bucharest · 30/03/2010 10:52

dd had these on and off from the age of 2 to 4. She would seem sometimes to be awake, eyes open, the lot, but just screaming hysterically.

Rescue Remedy drops (you can get alcohol free) worked miracles. (don't know if it was because of something icky tasting being dropped in her mush or if they really worked, but they always did!)

mjinhiding · 30/03/2010 10:53

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AlicesWonderland · 30/03/2010 11:10

yes DS used to do this from about the same age right through to about being 3 or 4

It was awful like he was awake but he was still asleep he would kick you and hit you cos he didn;t know it was you.

in the end he ended up sleeping in our bed most nights as he just didn't seem to get the terrors that way, and thankfully he grew out of it

WowOoo · 30/03/2010 11:11

Ds1 used to scare the living daylights out of me.

He would say things like:I don't need a poo/I don't like peas/ put the teddy in the corner NOW/! And mention things from TV adverts or progs.

I was always a bit less strict with him the next day as I think these were the things that he was dreaming of.

I also ban adverts and innapropriate Tv as I know that caused my night terrors when younger (I was scared of random, silly things)

katieskids · 30/03/2010 21:05

Wow thanks for so many replies. One thing I remember feeling was 'this is scary'. DS was absolutely fine the next morning, maybe a little more sleepy than usual, but I still felt wobbly. Good to hear from you that you all felt the same.
newmomma you've got me thinking re: sugar, DS had for the first time a Goodies banana & date fruit bar and wolfed it down! I'm usually a control freak with him & snacks but that day we had cylced to the park (me & DH not DS!!!), stopped at a picnic bench to unpack the flask etc, DS spied the bar & grabbed it, didn't like to say no. Perhaps that was IT-sugar overload.

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