I really , really need some help

[Lilliput]

my ds is five months old and his sleep has never been great but has got steadily worse the last month. At one point he would have a good stretch of sleep for five/six hours, fed and then 2/3 hours. This I thought would then get longer until he was sleeping through. He now wakes at 10/11 after only going to bed at 8 and is taking longer to settle after feeding, he's pretty much asleep after his b/feed but as soon as I put him in the cot he's awake. His dummy doesn't seem to help anymore and tonight I am at my wits end.
It's my company he wants, he wants to be held, his crying subsides as soon as he hears me come into his room and stops when I pick him up. I'm scared my bond with him is breaking, I'm beginning to resent him in some ways and when he moams to be picked up during the day I don't feel motherly comfort for him I think oh for god's sake give me a break. I have felt really quite angry towards him tonight aqnd now feel hidiously guilty, he's only five months old. I need to get him into a better sleep pattern but don't know how, my hv is a lazy cow so very little help. I know some people have it worse but this is really killing me.

I don't have any answers for you as I always co-slept with mine. It is quite normal to resent being woken up all night though.

I think it might help you if you had a plan. Try choosing a method that you agree with like pick up put down or controlled crying and stick to it like glue for a fortnight. It might not work but it might make you feel more in control. Good luck.

PS they do get much better at sleeping once they are crawling for some reason so it may only be another couple of months if you can hold out that long

I am sure it will get better. My dd went through an awful patch of waking around five months - two or three weeks later (perhaps helped by putting her cot next door) she is sleeping much better. I sleep with my baby from time to time and found this has not stopped her from sleeping in her cot. When he wakes at 10/11 I presume you feed him, and then try to put him down - if you go to bed then could you lie down with him for a while at this point?
I do think that babies of this age seem to become much more aware and are about to have a huge developmental leap (my dd is starting to sit up, for example) and this can disturb their sleep temporarily.
Try to think of it as a shortlived phase - it WILL pass. And during the day, my advice is to be out and about as much as poss so you don't feel the walls closing in on you when you are tired and grumpy (and beleive me, I have been there with tired and grumpy!). Good luck.

What exactly is the pick up put down technique, how does it work?

Pick up put down is literally putting baby down and when they start getting upset picking them up and calming them and then as soon as they are calm putting them down again and again and again and again, it works but it will take a few days/a week to have the desired results, the first few nights you could find yourself repeating this process upto a hundred times but persistance has it's rewards, good luck

Do you have a DP who can help? What about doing one going-in session each and swapping over each time?

is five months too early? I know he's not hungry in the night he just wants comfort

we were doing pick up put down with dd at about the same age as your ds

How many times a night is he waking after 11pm?

How do you know hes not hungry?, sorry dont mean to be rude .

I think triceratops is right in that whatever you decide to do you must stick to it like glue.

what's your dd like now

DD was a brilliant sleeper in general put had the odd bad spell which we dealt with by using pick up put down and controlled crying when she was a bit older, she is now 20 months and being a bit of a bugger again but we've had to rethink our strtegy now as she is sharing a room with dd2

I agree with madmarchhare, he could be hungry, dd always had a dream feed at 10pm to see her through the night, right up until she was 12mths old!

He's waking three to five times after 11pm and I know he's not hungry for some of the wakings because he will wake half an hour or an hour after a feed, he also has breakfast and tea (I know I should have waited longer)

Do you have a set routine ith the feeds? What time is last feed in evening usually? Does he finish it?

PERSONALLY I would try getting your DP to go in to him when you KNOW he isn't hungry - i.e. if he's woken after 30 minutes. I prefer this to the crying options because he is learning (a) that he will get comfort from mummy AND daddy and (b) that mummy won't always come running.

he has a good bedtime routine and is breastfed on demand

Time to rope DH in on it then and do a bit of the old pick up put down/whatever (we went with the crying at around 7 months when we knew DS wasnt hungry).