DS is 12 weeks. He really struggles to get to sleep, needs loads of sleep, can only sleep in a sling during the day, and gets overtired at the drop of a hat, with unpleasant consequences all round.
I've asked various health professionals for advice on how I can help him to get to sleep more easily. The responses have been:
HV 1: Leave him to cry. He needs to go to sleep on his own. You're a neurotic mother.
HV 2: I wouldn't recommend controlled crying this young. Just leave him to cry. He needs to go to sleep on his own. He's manipulating you so that you'll hold him. You're a neurotic mother.
GP: Leave him to cry. He needs to go to sleep on his own. He's manipulating you so that you'll hold him. You're a neurotic mother.
Cranial osteopath: Try this book. It suggests controlled crying. Babies often struggle to sleep because of tension at home (= you're a neurotic mother).
Given that at least 10% of women have PND and are therefore likely to be sensistive to comments about their parenting, I didn't think that any of these comments were particularly helpfully phrased, even if I am a neurotic mother (which of course I don't think I am!)
I don't understand why babies wanting to be held by their parents is supposed to be an evil trait which must be trained out of them as soon as possible. They're babies - of course they need cuddles. They've just spent 24 hours a day for 9 months being cuddled. It's entirely natural for them to want to be held at least some of the time.
Nor do I understand why babies going to sleep on their own is some wonderful goal they must achieve within the first couple of months. If I don't think it's a problem that DS hasn't learnt how to go to sleep on his own yet, why do all the HCPs think it's a problem?
I find it hard to believe that the only people who have babies who learn to go to sleep are those who leave them to cry.
Apart from the fact that I don't agree with doing this, in DS's case it wouldn't work anyway, as once he gets overtired (which he does if he's left to scream), he can only stay asleep for 30 mins before he wakes up screaming again because he is so tired, at which point it all starts over again.
Sorry to rant; glad to get it off my chest. I can't imagine how people cope who don't know about MN and just ask the Gestapo professionals for advice.
I shall just have to continue with my hippy baby-wearing, sporadically co-sleeping, tree hugging ways in the absence of any better suggestions.