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Can't seem to put 11 month old in own room - someone give me a shove!

8 replies

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 22/03/2010 16:26

DS2 is nearly one and is still sleeping in a cot in our room - most nights he wakes around 1-2am and I bring him into bed and feed him and he spends the rest of the night there.

DS1 moved into his own room at 9 months and I remember he slept better afterwards - I think we're disturbing DS2 when we come to bed and he's a rotten sleeper anyway so rationally I know he ought to be in his own room.

Various things have happened since he got old enough to move - we moved house, so I didn't want to put him in his own room until he'd settled into the new place, my mum has been diagnosed with a rare and incurable cancer so life has been a bit emotional to say the least, and DS2 has just started nursery, as I'm due back at work in May and really don't want to go, and I really miss him crawling around tugging on my trouser leg . Plus they're making redundancies so job is under threat as well.

So anyhow, all this means emotionally I'm having real trouble moving him - we've got the room all ready, it just needs me to do the final push, and I just can't do it.

Someone come and tell me I'm being daft - he needs his own room, it's not doing our marital life any good and I'm sure we'll all sleep better. So why can't I just do it?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
WhatFreshHellIsThis · 22/03/2010 17:35

bump?

OP posts:
GabrieleJ · 22/03/2010 17:39

I can understand that it must be really nice having him in the room and cuddling him at night, but the longer you leave it the harder it will be. One day you'll realise that you want your bedroom back but your DS2 might not want to go anywhere... Then both of you will struggle... He'll be happy in his room and in few weeks it will be just normal for both of you

Good luck x x

juuule · 22/03/2010 17:45

"So why can't I just do it?"

Because you are just not ready for it yet. Why not leave it a bit longer. See how you feel after you've been back at work a couple of months. There's not really any real reason to rush, is there? There's no guarantee that he will not still wake up at 1-2am even if he is in his own room and then you'll have that to contend with as well as return to work. By leaving things as they are for now you will still have the comfort of each other at night even if you miss each other during the day.

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 22/03/2010 18:23

Thank you - two completely opposing views! I do enjoy cuddling him at night, but it's not really much good for our sex life - not that DP is complaining, he's very busy at work and what with Mum's illness and everything it's not exactly top of our list at the moment, but that's not exactly a healthy state of affairs, is it...

I know it's got to be done. Poo.

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tartyhighheels · 22/03/2010 18:30

If you are fine with it then carry on - you are both gaining comfort from this and although you have had another child, they are not the same so I reckon you should not give yourself a hard time. You really do have enough on your plate at the mo and I think let it go for a while and see how it feels in a few weeks or couple of months maybe. All of mine have slept in our room past this age - my 15 month old is still in with us but we are going to have to make the move as a new bub is due in sept but honestly, it is a wrench for me too.

Unless you are 100% then don't do it, please be kind to yourself, you are doing really well under a great deal of pressure and this really isn't that important.

Just for the record all my dcs are really good sleepers and go to bed and stay there so i don't think it has damaged them in any way whatsoever.

LadyintheRadiator · 22/03/2010 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 22/03/2010 18:54

Maybe you're right - I do like it and feel really sad about the thought of him sleeping elsewhere Will see if DP minds if he stays - to give him his due he hasn't made any complaint at all about it, it's all me putting pressure on myself.

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dycey · 22/03/2010 20:24

If I were you I would keep things how they are for now.... it's worse being up at night when the baby sleeps in another room... you need your rest and you get more the way things are.

Babies are very adaptable. When you are ready it will be relatively easy, I reckon. It has seemed that way to me with moving DS and stopping night feeds etc... I dreaded it all year and it was fairly easy when I was ready.

Totally symapthise about not wanting to go back to work. Is it full time? I felt the same (luckily only part time) but it is okay!

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