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how do you have energy to do stuff when you are sleep deprived?

23 replies

katechristie · 21/03/2010 15:13

DD is 11mo and still regularly wakes 3 times a night. We co-sleep from whenever she wakes after our bedtime, but I don't get a lot of sleep that way either. DS has just turned 3 and only reliably started sleeping through a few months ago, so it's been 3 years or broken sleep. - 1st time around with DS it was easier to cope, as I could sit around to recharge when he didn't need too much entertaining, or get out for a long walk with the pram to wake me up, but this time around, of course, he's full of energy all day, so I don't get a break.

Just wondering how others cope and motivate yourself if you are in a similar situation?

OP posts:
carocaro · 22/03/2010 00:22

I used to just go to bed when they did and leave all the crap.

SLeep was more important than a tidy clean house.

It's hard, but it won't last forever.

Is DS at pre-school? When DD naps can you sleep then?

carocaro · 22/03/2010 00:24

I also used to have MOT sleeps, as I used to all them, go to my Mum's (about 45 mins away) from about 6pm on a Sat eve and come back around lunchtime.

DH was fine and the kids were fine and I felt a hell of a lot better!

Even just sitting on the sofa with my eyes shut whilst the TV was on, baby in the playpen used to help.

CoolTumble · 22/03/2010 00:26

Strong coffee with 2 sugars

katechristie · 22/03/2010 16:27

Yes, this time around I've not been able to "sleep when they do" as DS dropped his nap not long after turning 2, and that's when we get some time together, whilst DD naps (sadly she's a short napper too so altho I use the time to sit on the sofa and read with DS thus giving myself a break, she's usually awake within 30-45 mins!) DS doesn't start pre-school until Sept, by which time hopefully all will be better - as well as getting a rest when I go back to work in a few weeks.

I really only do the basics of housework now, but still seem to spend my time sorting the washing in-between meals, clearing up food from the floor and nappies. At this stage it seems like you've just cleared up one meal and it's time for the next by the time you've managed to do one thing!

Ah well, I do remember things had got so much better by the time DS was 18mo, so I guess it's not long to go. If only I drank coffee! - have never liked either tea or coffee so can't rely on caffeine to help me through - instead I eat too much chocolate.

great idea about the mot sleeps, - not possible at the moment as stil BF DD at night (that's the main problem i think, it's crazy when you're too tired to change anything isn't it? - DH was off last week and we were really going to go for it with trying to reduce the night wakings, then both DCs full of cold and poorly, so couldn't do anything!)

thanks very much for the replies, I know deep down there's no wonder solution, but it just helps to hear from others who've also been there .

How sad is it that I was glad when it rained today so didn't have to go out in the garden and run around (even though I know when I actually get out I do feel better for it).

OP posts:
nzbabies · 22/03/2010 21:27

Hi Katechristie, I am going through exactly the same right now! Well, almost. DD is 11 months and wakes 3 times or much more and we co-sleep most of the night. I feed her but am planning to nightwean v soon. DS (3.3yrs) still wakes too though - usually twice a night. Most days I feel so awful and I can't remember what it is like to feel vitality and the day not be something I am dragging myself through...just washing the dishes and making food seems to take up most of the day, what with DD clinging onto my legs and DS wanting things...So, yes, I know what you mean!!!! But I guess it will get easier. I just pray that DS stops waking up, and then I can hope that DD will be a better sleeper, and then one day, oh, yes, one historic day, the whole family will sleep ALL NIGHT!!!!! And the next night, and the next...
Its enough to send you completely bonkers!!!

nzbabies · 22/03/2010 21:28

Oh and in answer to your original question, I eat a LOT of chocolate too!!!

chickenlickin · 22/03/2010 22:17

I have nearly 3 year old and 12 month old. Feel your pain!!! I have started giving 12 month frequent night waking babe porridge before bed then a dream feed of cows milk and then sneaky breastfeed if desperate in the night. Usually gets him through till 4am ish then in our bed for last few hours.
Have bought my 3 year old a Grobag gro clock which is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!! Stays in bed till what ever time you set the clock (LED light with sun that rises). Can use it for day time naps (not that she has them anymore). Best thing i have ever bought.
Just wish they understood that mummy would be much happier and cheerful if she had a little more sleep!!!!!!! Good luck x

tutu100 · 22/03/2010 22:22

I don't. I feel like shit. House looks like shit. I'm constantly shouting at everyone, very short tempered and quite frankly don't know how I'm going to survive (or my kids for that matter!). But somehow I just keep going.

I second lots of chocolate . And only doing absolutely vital stuff. Nothing gets done round here until it hits emergency status!

1stMrsF · 23/03/2010 20:53

Twins, almost 11 months. One single solitary fully night's sleep since they were born (and grateful for that). I can't even drink coffee as I've discovered it distrupts their sleep even more!! I drink a lot of hot chocolate and eat a lot of biscuits in the day and drink a lot of wine after they go to sleep. And I do NOTHING that I don't have to - got a cleaner, shop online, don't phone friends, forget birthdays etc etc

Elsy · 24/03/2010 18:16

I am in exactly the same boat. DD1 is 3 and is a great sleeper and always has been. DD2 just turned 1 and has done one fortnight of sleeping through at around 9 months. Going through a particularly bad patch with her at the moment with lots of night waking and early starts.

Am really struggling with it to be honest. I just feel so frustrated that I can't enjoy my time with the children because all I want to do is sleep. I do MOT sleeps occasionally but am also getting insomnia because of the stress of the frequent night waking so doesn't always work. The only thing that helps is to believe that it won't go on forever, but sometimes I find that hard to believe!

sarah293 · 24/03/2010 18:28

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abride · 24/03/2010 18:33

Going without sleep is not healthy: it's been linked with lots of problems. SOmetimes I think the pendulum has swung too far towards not encouraging babies to sleep through.

sarah293 · 25/03/2010 07:56

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TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 25/03/2010 08:01

naps wheneer they are not here
alot of chocolate

and no I dont get enough done

in april it will be 5 years without a stretch of sleep longer than 3 hours

sarah293 · 25/03/2010 08:02

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TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 25/03/2010 08:07

social worker was here yesterday to check the kids have beds

she is to come every week

next week she will be talking to the kids on their own

she said she will only just the beds occasionally incase we chop them up for firewood

I have a cleaner coming this afternoon and then regularly from then (will have to meal plan....baked beans to afford it lol)

I'm getting the kids to school on time and in uniform

I'm exhausted and just stay in the house to keep it tidy

bereavement counselling hasn't started

dd2 is definitely getting worse, she sobs for her dad and she will fall apart and sob about the littlest thing

but were ok, I think

how is your dd after her fit?
are you ok?

sarah293 · 25/03/2010 08:12

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TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 25/03/2010 08:15

wow riven that would be very useful

craig and his gf would really appreciate that for when their little one is big enough for a bed
she will be sharing with dd2 and gecko

shouldn't you be selling it though?
what would you like for it?

sarah293 · 25/03/2010 08:30

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abride · 25/03/2010 08:37

Oh, Riven, I wasn't thinking of your case at all! I was thinking of parents of older babies who could afford to be a leetle more gently insistent on good sleeping habits earlier on.

Sometimes I think saying this is a MN taboo, though (not saying this is what you think, btw, just in general).

sarah293 · 25/03/2010 08:58

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mrsgboring · 25/03/2010 09:15

I'm finding it harder this time round too. DS1 is 4.5 and now sleeps through the night but gets up excruciatingly early. DS2 still only 11 months and not a great sleeper. I haven't slept the night through since getting pregnant first time round with DD (who was stillborn) over 6 years ago.

ds1 does a lot of preschool and i eat a lot of cake etc which is a sort term fix but crap in the long run. Caffeine and alcohol are a disaster - I can't cope at all if I have more than a glass of wine or a couple of cups of caffeinated tea in the day.

getting exercise genuinely helps and also reading books while I'm feeding DS2 (so I get a bit of me time) but I do find the chores and the grind and the tiredness are getting on top of me a little.

Ignoring children whilst MNing also helps but I had better stop that now.

Also, it really doesn't help to dwell on how little sleep you've had and how tired you are. It makes it ten times worse

TrinityIsFuckingTrying · 25/03/2010 09:25

riven that would be fab
thankyou so much
sorry I had to leave for school drop offs just got back

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