Questions about safe co-sleeping from a novice

[AngelDog]

Some silly questions about co-sleeping safely from a nervous novice - I'd be grateful for any suggestions. DS is nearly 11 weeks.

1. Should I avoid having a hot water bottle / pillow against my back in case I accidentally move them onto DS (or I get too hot & so make him too hot?) I struggle without heat on my aching back as I spend the whole day with DS on me in a sling (the only way he'll sleep during the day).

1. In fact, should I avoid a normal pillow altogether? Are there any safer alternatives?

1. I know you're not supposed to leave children on their own in an adult bed. At the moment, DS will sometimes only get to sleep by me feeding him to sleep lying where he will be sleeping all night (ie in my bed). If I try to move him once he's asleep, he wakes up. I can't always go to bed at the same time as him for various long & complicated reasons. What do other people do about this?

1. Bedside cots - how do you prevent them moving away from the side of the bed if baby accidentally rolls into the side of them, or is that not a problem? DS has to sleep between me and the edge of the bed as it's only a single one!

1. What tog of sleeping bag would you use for a co-sleeping baby in a 16-18 degree room? I know what I'd use if he were in his own cot, but does he need a lighter weight one because he's sleeping next to me?

1. How do you prop up DC to feed lying down? When I was shown how to do it, I was told put a rolled up towel behind his back so that he was lying facing me on his side. But wouldn't that towel be a suffocation risk kicking around in the bed once I've moved him onto his back? How do other people get their DC into the right position bf lying down?

Sorry if these are silly questions - I'm only co-sleeping as it's the only way to get DS to sleep. I don't disagree with it in principle, but frankly it's far too uncomfortable for me to want to continue for any length of time. (Although it does beat spreadeagling myself over the carry cot for half an hour or more at a time so I can bf DS to sleep, which is the alternative! )

Thanks!

I guess if you follow all the current safety advice to the letter, then you can't cosleep, so you are going to have to give up on some of the advice. Luckily I started cosleeping before the current guidelines so I find them easier to take with a pinch of salt.

1. Is the hot water bottle you use really that hot? I suspect I wouldn't worry about it, but I wouldn't need one all night, either.
2. I just used my usual pillow (I didn't worry about it)
3. I would leave baby alone in the adult bed (why not?). As long as I had taken measures to prevent them rolling off.
4. I wedged pillows or other objects next to cot legs or put cot between bed & wall -- so that it won't move.
5. That's a warm bedroom to me, I would think a 2-ish tog sleeping bag assuming they have a babygro on too, unless baby was under covers with me (which they probably were).
6. I never needed to prop baby up to feed lying down, they just lay on their side. I guess I could have wedged a jumper behind their back if needed.

I didn't much like cosleeping either, but it was better than the alternatives!

Thanks, lljkk. Your advice sounds very sensible - sometimes it takes hearing it from someone else to work out out a common sense approach for yourself!

Plus I feel generally more chilled after 3 or 4 nights without having squashed / suffocated / otherwise killedDS. I think co-sleeping with little babies is so alien in our culture that it's easy to be overly anxious. I know that by the time our babies were 2 weeks old, I was the only one of my NCT group not to have moved my baby into his own room - now I'm co-sleeping I feel like I'm extra odd!

On the positive side, both DS and I are sleeping much better than we were.