losing my sanity over daytime naps

[ExistentialistCat]

We're working with a sleep clinic to sort DD's sleep. She's 8 months old and we'd fallen into a pattern of very frequent night wakings after a bout of teething and illness.

The sleep clinic is helpful. We're well on our way to being able to stop night feeds, the wakings have got less frequent and DD is getting better at settling back to sleep by herself when she wakes (and no, we haven't done CC). But she's now waking very early in the morning.

I've been told to address this problem by sticking to a daytime napping schedule "like glue".This means a nap 9.30-10.30 and another one 2-3.30. And there's the rub: I'm completely torn on this issue. A rigid napping shcedule makes it impossible for us to do most of the baby activities that we usually enjoy (so many seem to start at 10!). I feel like I have to make a choice between any semblance of normal sleep (and I am EXHAUSTED) and any chance of a social life and getting out of the house.

What do other people do? Is a rigid nap schedule really a foolproof way towards restful nights and therefore worth it?

I do think naps are important to promote good night time sleep but I don't think you have to ruin your life to get those naps. Did the clinic set those specific nap times, or did they mean, find 2 nap times in the day that are reasonable for your child? It's a bit out of order for them to tell you when your child 'should' be tired.

At 8 months, DS did sleep from about 9.30 til 10.30 and then about 12.30 til 2.30 but if I wanted to go to an activity, I'd just make the morning nap be in the buggy. OK, I'd have to leave early for the group and walk around my town/park for an hour, but my arse and thighs looked bloody fabulous as a result.

Perhaps that could be a compromise for you and as long as his long nap is at home (which is quite nice anyway as you get to lounge around/do jobs/mumsnet while DD sleeps) then does it really matter that the morning sleep is elsewhere?

Hope the night times keep getting better.

Think lovelymama's idea is right, if you can make it work - can she nap in the pram in the morning? Good luck - ds is a rubbish night sleeper, but ok in the day (asleep outside as I type!).

If you get into a good routine at home then you can have the shorter nap when out and about in a car or buggy. I think it is worth the sacrifice of a few weeks without any activities at the beginning.

Thanks for the replies.

The suggested timings of the naps are based on a baseline sleep diary, so hopefully tailored to DD's needs. She does tend to sleep pretty reliably for an hour in the mornings, but afternoons are difficult. She won't sleep in the pram. The car does tend to get her off to sleep but she's often awake again after just 25 minutes and nothing I do gets her back to sleep.

I'm pretty sure she's not getting enough sleep in the afternoon unless we're at home (and even then it can be hit and miss). But it's so gutting to stay at home specially for the afternoon nap for it then not to happen anyway!!

I really appreciate everyone's thoughts on this. I feel like I'm making rather heavy weather out of what should be a fairly straightforward issue!

It's really easy to become obsessed by these things - I was completely the same. I think it is worth some focus but if you're trying as hard as you clearly are to get the naps sorted out, please don't stress about it when things don't go according to plan. You'll go crazy.

How about this for an idea - for now, just let DD have 25 mins on a morning in the car so you can go to your groups (or 'sanity savers' as I like to call them) and then perhaps the lunch time nap might be easier to get DD to settle for because she'll be more tired after having a short morning nap. It's worth a go.

At around 10 months the morning nap got more difficult for us because DS was getting ready to drop it so possibly your DD doesn't need that much sleep in the morning. Just speculation....

I was going to say the same as lovelymama - 1 hour in the morning might be a bit too long to get another decent sleep in the afternoon.

We cut our DS's morning nap bit by bit, so started with 45 mins for a few weeks, then 30, then 20. You'll have to do the afternoon nap a bit earlier as she'll be more tired having only had a little kip in the morning.

We always did the short morning nap in the buggy on the way to a group or whatever, and then came home for lunch and a longer nap in the afternoon.