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In need of help - going mad without sleep

7 replies

needcoffeenow · 09/03/2010 11:04

I am in need of help as my 14 month old boy has terrible sleep problems. He needs motion to go to sleep which means either myself or my husband have to take him out in the pram at night to get him to fall asleep come wind, rain or shine. We have tried controlled crying a couple of times and it hasn't worked. He gets himself so worked up that he is making himself sick and soiling his nappy. He is wet with sweat from the crying and there is no way that he would then drop off to sleep. I have a 4 year old daughter and controlled crying worked with her and she took to it straight away, so I know it's not down to me not trying enough. Once he is asleep we used to put him into his cot but he would wake up a couple of times even before we would go to bed and would always end up in our bed. We don't even bother doing this and just leave him in the pram till we go and then put him straight into our bed just so we can get a few more hours of sleep. As well as having problems getting to sleep once he is asleep he can wake up during the night and can be wide awake and be up for at least 2 - 3 hours at a time. Nothing will get him to sleep unless he is being rocked after milk and having a play. I am feeling so lost as not sure what to do and worry that I may have left it to late to fix. Have spoken to my GP but they were useless and have been referred to a child Psychotherapist. I have no idea what they can suggest but thought I would see if anyone out there could help me. Sorry for all the waffle. Thanks for reading my plea!

OP posts:
IWillNotNeverEatATomato · 09/03/2010 11:39

Seeing as he likes motion to go off to sleep, could you try putting him down in the cot and putting you hand on his tummy (or back if he sleeps on his back) quite firmly so that he can't roll over and then agitate him so that he is being rocked slightly,
and put on a piece of music to calm him down, and continually 'shush' while you do this.

the first time you should probably do this until he goes of to sleep,

repeat if he wakes up

then repeat the same routine every night but slowly reducing the amount that you agitate him but continue to shush and play the music
so that he slowly learns to settle himself.

eventually the music on its own will calm him enough for him to settle himself

it will take time but it worked really well for my DS

BoBoo · 09/03/2010 15:25

It's never too late! I don't really have any advice but am often amazed at how short a space of time it can take to change something with my children. How does he sleep in the day? It can be really difficult to try anything different at night when everyone is desperate for sleep so it might be best to try and introduce any new techniques to his daytime nap first of all.

Maybe cranial osteopathy would help, but doesn't sound like you're GP would be sympathetic enough to consider a referral.

Good luck, and I hope someone comes up with something that helps.

Igglybuff · 09/03/2010 19:22

needcoffee can you try rocking to sleep then gradually lessen the rocking over a couple of weeks? So rock, put down asleep, rock, put down almost asleep etc etc? If he gets upset, pick up and rerock then put down?

Has he got a bedtime routine? Maybe introduce one and give him a week to get used to it. Finish off with rocking to sleep then once he knows the routine you can try the reduced rocking thing? Basically like what IWillNot said.

Is he teething at all? Does he sleep well on the day - being awake at night sounds like he might be overtired?

I'm just guessing - someone with more experience will hopefully be along!

needcoffeenow · 10/03/2010 13:26

Thank you all for your advice, something has got to work.

Thanks IWillNot for the movement suggestion. I think had I contacted Mumsnet a few months ago it could have worked but he is a big 14 month old and the idea of trying to keep him lying down while rocking would not work. He is very strong minded and I know for a fact that he would put up a big fight if I even tried.

BoBoo thanks also for your support and suggesting cranial osteopathy. I used this on my daughter when she was a new born and it did work wonders for her wind problems. I will look into that and contact the place I visited before, no harm in trying.

We do have a bedtime routine that we stick to but to be honest I can't see it makes much of a difference really. The main part if pulling the pram out and putting him in after his bottle and going for a walk round the block!

I am thinking of contacting a sleep clinic or perhaps trying to find someone to come in and stay to help me. I feel it's a bit of a cop out and part of me thinks I should just put up with it and maybe he will grow out of it. Where as another part of me thinks this could go on for years and maybe I should face the fact that I need expert help and it's not my fault.

So, anyone know of any good clinics?

OP posts:
Igglybuff · 10/03/2010 19:45

needcoffee I've heard that millpond is very good. I've been thinking of using them to help me with my 5 month DS! Here is their website

bippyhippy · 11/03/2010 11:20

Millpond are really good. And you can also get some good free baby sleep advice here.

bbcwomen · 17/03/2010 14:28

Hi there,

I'm working for Channel 4 and we are looking for families who are having difficulty getting their unders 4s to sleep to take part in a new series.

The families would get the opportunity to work with a top child sleep expert on a one-to-one basis. The expert believes that they can deal with most sleep issues within a 4 week period, and that sleepless nights will be a thing of the past.

If you want to know more please contact me/respond to this post or see our ad in the media requests forum

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/media_nonmember_requests/923567-Are-you-a-sleep-deprived-Parent-A-new-Channel-4

I have permission to put this post up by Mumsnet HQ.

Hope to hear from you soon!

Nastasia
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