10 Month old taking a LONG time to fall asleep - please help!

[elk4baby]

Hi,
My DS is now 10.5 months. He's always been a very challenging baby sleep-wise. Starting from never sleeping in the buggy to the slightest sound waking him to frequent night wakings (still!).

What's bothering me most is how long he takes to fall asleep. It's really frustrating ! On average, it's 40min. at naptime and over an hour at night .
I have to stand over him and repeatedly put him down, when he sits/stands up, tell him to lie down many-many times oever. Most of the time, I don't touch him at all, but I have to be there and keep watch.
If I dare leave the room before he's completely out, his head just pops above the bumper, then he sits up, then he stands up. This happens at naps and bedtime (at night the room is dark, so he doesn't even see me leaving and I go as silently as possible).
I have tried leaving him to it, he can spend his entire nap playing in the cot (anything is a toy, even the mattress sheet ), standing, sitting, talking to himself. He doesn't cry like most mums' babies on here (I should probably count my blessings ), but he doesn't sleep!
I do make sure that he gets enough activity during the day and is tired by the time he needs to go to sleep. But no matter how tired he is and how ready he is to fall asleep, if I'm not there 'on guard' he doesn't go to sleep.
We have an extensive bedtime routine (and a shorter version for naps) and he's definitely sleepy when I put him down.

How do I teach him to just lie down and go to sleep on his own? Please help!

(sorry for the long post...)

Hi elk4baby,

if this was my DC I would just leave him to it, close the door and leave him. Can he lie down by himself? If not I would go in after 10 minutes or so and lie him down. Then just leave him to it. If he's tired, he'll sleep. I'd leave him then till it's time to get up.

Is he ready to drop a nap perhaps?

Good luck!

how many naps does he take now and how long are they? DD is exactly the same age and a demon napper. I'm still relying on feeding to sleep as it's the only way I can get her off, I know I need to make the change soon, but don't have the energy. - If anything disturbs her on her way to sleep that's it, ping, wide awake and nothing will get her back off until she's worked her way to being tired again in another hour or so. DS has just turned 3 and has probably contributed to this - he always managed to find a noisy toy just at her nap time, bless him! - DD generally just has one nap a day now, as I can't face the stress of struggling to get her off, usually it's 30-45 mins, sometimes it's an hour. If she wakes after 10mins or so, then she'll nap later in the day, then be a live wire at bedtime.

I'm so of parents who get a full hour or two to themselves a couple of times a day. - sorry, am not offering any help here whatsoever, just wanted to send my sympathy!

You say you have a nap and bedtime routine, so am assuming you've tried things like bedtime music, quiet stories etc.?

He's still doing two naps, each 30min-1.5hrs (it really varies). I thought that babies go to one nap around 15-18months? Is this an illusion?
I've tried the music, the humming, the stories... we've gone through the rocking phase. The music actually 'prevents' him sleeping, as he starts listening, the stories do the same... me humming seems to calm him a bit, but only for a short time and then he starts 'listening'

I've actually seen threads on here where babies have dropped their daytime naps by this stage - but there again, they've been babies who are already sleeping through, so it certainly stopped me worrying about how little DD has. Ah well, if we have number 3, I'll def be ordering a sleeper next time

dd and ds were both at 1 nap by 11 months so he could be moving towards that already.

Wow, that's really surprising. I was convinced that he should keep to two naps until he's well over 1yo.
The only problem is, he has never slept more than 1.5hrs at a time. A few times we had to have just one nap (due to trips or doctor app'ts), but he hasn't slept more than 1.5hrs. Right now, I get 2-2.5hrs daytime sleep from him (3 on a really good day). If we drop the second nap, he'll be getting half the daytime sleep he has now. Is that a bad thing?
Or will there be a 'transition' period, where he sleep a lot less during the day and then starts sleeping longer stretches? What's your experience?

My DS dropped to one nap at 10 months and it is about 1.5 hours - not longer. Occasionally he has two if tired or the night was too short.

I get DS to nap by rocking (he is so tired he drops off easily) but at bedtime I leave him awake in bed in the dark - he will stay awake if I am with him - on his own he hums happily and is asleep in 5 minutes. At night I have stayed with him on and off if he wakes but do sometimes wonder if my presence is overly stimulating for sleep? He now generally sleeps through tho or wakes, cries for a minute and sleeps again.

Try leaving the baby to it? If not crying then a bit of standing up and crawling in the cot may be what he needs to do to unwind. I know my DS wanders around the cot a bit to get to sleep... He likes motion!