Has anyone done controlled crying on a 3yr 1mth old toddler?

[chelbelle71]

Hi there, we are desperate for advice. I have 2 sons, 3yr 1 mth and 16mths. Am expecting also in 10 weeks. For the last 3 weeks my 3 yr old has decided he doesn't like sleep. Before this he slept without any trouble from 7-7.30 through to the morning between 7-8. Our routine has not changed and nothing has happened to disrupt him.

He gets really upset now and won't go to sleep unless either me or hubby lie with him. He finally goes to sleep but wakes up half dozen times. Again having to stay with him until he falls alseep. There is no same time he wakes, the timings are all over the place.

He has slept in our bed a few times but that because he insisted and screamed the house down. Sometimes he sleeps ok but then wakes early and othertimes, he's tossing and turning and moaning.

We have nice bed routine, bath, story etc. We have tried soft approach and supernappy approach but nothing working.

Did by the gro clock but that did not work, have tried sticker chart, bribes, lamp on in morning on a timer to let him know it's morning but so far nothing is working, he's ignoring it all and still stomping around screaming cause he doesn't want to be on his own and sleep.

I have tried talking to him in the day to find out what is wrong and he laughs and says "me sleep in mummy's bed" with a big grin on his face.

We so so tired and I need to try and crack this before new baby arrives as I co-sleep with baby until they 10mths which is what I have done with my other 2.

Luckily my 16mth is sleeping through all the noise but sometimes end up bouncing between the two boys through the night as little one is teething like crazy at moment.

I'm have also been playing relaxing mozart at bedtime as well now hoping that will settle him but no affect.

He does not sleep in the day, he hasn't since he was a baby. He's very active, we always out playgroups or out visiting or go walking so he's plenty of exercise to wear him out.

It's like a switch, come bed time he turns into a monster and is just hysterical so we have to lie with him to get him settled.

I am so so tired and last night topped it all. He finally fell asleep at 8pm with me sitting on the bed with him but just after midnight he woke and started the creeping into our bed. I kept returning him to his room and getting him into bed and he's whimpering saying lie with me lie with me and if I don't he starts screaming. I really lost my temper last night which I do not like doing but I've had no sleep now for 3 weeks and I'm now starting to worry what affect this is having on my little one growing.

I took him to docs yesterday and physcially nothing wrong with him. She said I must to the controlled crying to get him back into routine. Our HV is too busy at moment to see us so I'm having to figure it out for myself.

Has anyone done CC on their toddler who's behaviour is like my DS? Refusing to stay in bed, screaming, chasing you to the door and not only that it's the persistent waking and the same process all through the night?

I need help and if anyone can offer advise on cc that would be great. Me and Hubby have said yes we need to do it so we will stay strong but I need guidance on methods please. I have looked on web and have an idea but want some advise if possible from someone who has already done it.

Welcome all replies

i have done it with several families i have worked for and afraid to say this but he thinks he has you wrapped round his finger at bedtime and but you giving in to lying with him he wins and by you giving in he wins . i am a qualified nursery nurse nanny and if you want any advice i can talk you through it just a bit hard to tell you through text.

perhaps this is his way of telling you that he is worried? he knows something is going on, that a new baby is on the way, and he needs you right now.

personally i think it's really important that we respond to our children when they're saying that they need us. that isn't to say you can't gently encourage him to stay in bed, but I don't think leaving him to cry is really giving a very nice message to him

personally i would maybe look at doing something like gradual withdrawal, or look at the toddler version of the no-cry sleep solution

I totally feel for you about being so horribly tired - I have a 3 yr old who v v v rarely sleeps through and a 10 month old who wakes a few times...Anyway, 3 is quite common for nightmares and having lots of little fears and anxieties. My 3 yr old needs a lot of reassurance and almost every night dh goes into sleep with him at some point. We are stuck too about how to stop him waking...but one suggestion in the nocrysleepsolution is putting a mattress or sleeping bag on the floor at the foot of your bed and telling him strictly that he can come in quietly and sleep there if he needs to. We can't do this as 10month old is in our room, so you prob have the same problem. Hmmm...I am not much help sorry. What about putting your two lo's in together - that might comfort him? We are considering this too, but waiting for 10m old to sleep better. Oh god! Its hard isn't it?! Could your dh take over responsibility for going to him?

Hi nzbabies, yes my dh went into him last night because I said I was so so tired I couldn't do it and he slept with him from 1am til the morning. He moaned when he got up how tired he was. Welcome to parenting I thought as upto now it has mostly been me tending to both the kids through the night. I got a little more sleep at least. Thing is DH works on ladders all day so he can't afford to get too tired for h&s, he may slip fall cause he's not paying attention. We also thought about putting the boys in together but worried cause DS2 who is 16 mths sleeps well and only wakes when he's poorly, teething. We didn't want DS1 distrubing him and then two boys awake all night. We've discussed the CC and not sure if that is the route to take so torn what to do. Our bedroom isn't big enough to put mattress on floor for him because we bought the biggest bed SK as we've co-slept when they were babies so wanted a nice big bed so our room is full up with bed and wardrobe! I mentioned to DH last night maybe buy a single futon chair bed for DS1 room and when he wakes one of us crashes on that so at least in room with him but not co-sleeping so he doesn't get dependant on it and then try a withdrawal when he's back sleeping through. Talk about emotional torture. Good luck with your two.

Hi tigergirl, thanks for your message. We are torn as to how to handle it. One minute thinking yes we need to try the cc then emotions take over and we say maybe not and should try other methods. Which methods have you used for your families you have worked for. Maybe a talk would be helpful. How would I contact you and when is appropriate time? many thanks

[email protected]. it hard my families found it easier as i did it whilst they slept and first 6 days i did it then the following week once parents had had a good sleep they did it for 2 days and then they all slept fine . which is what i wish for you let alone being pregnant and about to drop you all need rest .