3 1/2 yr old and 22mnth old sharing a room - how to solve this nightmare

[lorisparkle]

DC3 is due in June and we decided to get DS1 and DS2 settled in their new room with both of them in single beds in plenty of time for the new arrival and before I get too big!

Anyway bed time is a complete nightmare and DH and I do not agree how to deal with it so any suggestions welcome.

At first DS1 is keen to please and get a sticker from the sleep fairy for settling down nicely. Unfortunately DS2 thinks this freedom is wonderful and jumps and runs around like a lunatic! DS1 can't stop himself and gets involved in the game and they both run around like lunatics. Then DS1 is overtired and overexcited and starts being a horror. He shuts DS2 out of the room, throws soft toys at him, takes the duvets off the bed, covers DS2 in the duvet. DS2 is then shattered and starts getting really upset. DS1 can't stop winding himself and DS2 up and DS2 can't settle cos DS1 is being a horror.

It eventually ends when something dramatic happens. Usually I get really angry am horrible to DS1. DS1 and DS2 are crying DH and I are shouting (at each other sometimes) We all cuddle and make up and the boys settle.

This usually takes 1 1/2 hours.

Please save our sanity (and marriage!)

That sounds hard. Are you in the room? light on? can you get one settled first and do a story with the other downstairs?

My 3.11 yo and 2.2yo share, and due dc3 in May

we turn light off (small night light left on) and I sit on end of ds1's bed cuddling ds2. ds2 still bf to sleep (no idea how i'll manage that with a newborn as well!) They know to be quiet once light off. They do run around crazily during the book/story stage some nights. i used to have to stay in room until ds1 asleep, but now once ds2 asllep i put him in cot and can usually creep out.

DH and I also disagree with bedtime routine, he has tried to just leave them in the room, but they cry and ds1 puts light on and starts playing with toys/runs out of room. So whilst i don't want to have to stay in the room come May, it works at the moment.

Will be interested in any tips that come along!

ahh sorry, i actually laughed out loud reading this, ebcause it's SO like my 2!

they WILL get over it. it's a novelty right now and eventually it will stop, i promise you.

i would maybe try to stagger bedtimes if you can. Get ds2 settled down first, and then take ds1 up once ds2 is asleep

has ds2 just gone into a bed from a cot? it might just take him a while to settle down in it

Mine share dd1(5)dd2(3)and yes we have had some carry on - it seems to come and go in phases. After summer we will be chucking DD3 in there too God help us.

Are they tired enough? Enough exercise? It really makes a difference.

They are excited cos it's still a novelty but I think you must stick to the routine and enforce it otherwise it is not going to work.

We read stories and put them yo bed, couple of songs, lights out. At first one of us would stay with them till all quiet. Eventually we could say goodnight and leave almost immediately. Have to say there was a phase when we would discover them playing behind the curtains. I was always scary cross mummy and they would scuttle back to bed. Now they are too knackered from school/ nursery yo get up again.

Our problem isn't them going yo sleep - it's the time that get up!

Other people I know let theirs listen to a story cd or dongs as they go to sleep

Sorry 'songs' iPhone crap

Thanks everyone for your understanding and suggestions. I think DH and I need to sit down and decide a strategy for tomorrow night. Yes DS2 has just moved into the bed for the first time. I was even more worried about what DS1 would do if DS2 was trapped in a cot in the same room as him but when we did this for two nights because the beds did not turn up things were much calmer.

Unfortunately DS1 and DS2 are both exhausted due to lack of sleep and lots of fresh air and exercise. Tiredness makes DS1 go into hyper mode - he has never been one for settling well. DS2 is desperate to settle but can't.

Lets hope for a calmer night tomorrow!

Well I thought about everything that everyone suggested and I thought about DS1 and how he reacts to things.

My plan was - a sticker chart for DS1 (and DS2 even though he does not understand it). He could get a sticker for every 2-4 minutes he was in his own bed and quiet. If he had lots of stickers he could have a reward (he chose a ride on one of those machines outside tesco!) and if he had a whole sheet of stickers he could ride on both machines!!! DS2 was put back into bed quietly and calmly and rewarded if he stayed in bed with a cuddle and a kiss.

Well the evening was very calm although DS1 took a while to settle down. DS2 was the mischief! It took a while but eventually they both fell asleep in their own beds with no shouting or upsets .

This means a ride on one of the machines hurrah!

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Hope to hear from you soon!

Nastasia
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