Hi,
I really need some help getting my toddler to sleep better at night. Any advice or illuminating observations greatly appreciated as I can't figure out what (if anything) is going wrong.
She is 28 months and is generally a happy girl. She can be quite serious and is known for being shy when in big groups, but I think this is more because she is mistaken for an older child quite often. She is very ahead for her age with talking (she has been using full sentences since she was about 13months and adults often ask her what year she is in at school!). Her emotional development is probably just as normal, though she is sensitive and empathetic. She doesn't cry much in the daytime and very very rarely has tantrums.
She also has two younger siblings (twins) who are 6 months. She is very affectionate and maternal towards them.
She has always been a difficult sleeper and regular night waker. She was breastfed until she was about 17 months. After this there was a window when she stopped waking at night. Then she moved out of a cot into a bed before the twins were born, as I anticipated that I would not be able to lift her after a c-section. She began sleeping all over her room on the floor and often ending up in our bed.
A couple of months ago she figured out how to open the doors, and since then she has been bedhopping and waking several times every night. At the moment I am sleeping in the twins' room and she is, more often than not, ending up either with me or with DH in our bed.
She does love her room though and always takes her friends and our guests up there to show it off.
She is always distressed when she wakes in the night and I know that letting her sleep wherever she wants is making things worse, but I can't see a way to get her happier in her own room. I really want her back in there so that I can move back into my own bed! (And also I want her to be happier and more settled at night of course).
I don't know whether to move her bed completely into the twins' room and have all three in there, or just give up and cosleep completely or something else- perhaps a stair gate on her doorway, but this would cause major hysteria, so I'm not keen really.
As you can see I am a bit confused. Am waking many times a night with twins anyway so dealing with her at night is just too much for me at the moment.
Looking back over this it seems fairly obvious that the twins' arrival has unsettled her and forced her into a relatively grown up role too quickly for her own comfort. I am sure this is partly the case but even if it is I don't know what to do about it.