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Crying to sleep.......

12 replies

Littlemai · 19/02/2010 13:14

Oh feeling a bit sad about my DS sleep at the mo (have not had the chance to come on here for ages and think I abandoned threads I started so also have guilt about not thanking people.. off task).
I have been co-sleeping with ds from the beginning although it was a slight accident, I like it and am in no real rush to change things but wanted to start gently moving forward. up until last week I would feed him in lounge he would fall asleep on me then we would go to bed together about 10.30 when he would feed and fall asleep. He woke a couple of times a night for food but he wouldn't cry and I would just swap boobs and go back to sleep, he would then wake at about 9.15 so all in all a good nights sleep for me and DH who never wakes up.
My mum got be a side-car crib for my birthday and I've started using that, I don't like the idea of cc and seem to be physically incapable of it anyway the problem is at night he feeds to sleep but for his daytime naps I try not too. I look out for signs of sleepyness take him to the bedroom put on lullabies and rock him but he never (well once in a very special bluemoon) falls asleep without really crying, this can sometime be more a sleepy whinge but more often than not is loud angry sounding cries with the odd scream thrown in. ALSO he naps for the longest of 45mins and when wakes up nearly always starts crying instantly I've tried to be there to pat him to try and get him to stay asleep but he just gets louder and louder and holds his legs in the air all tense and cross!
I want to be able to put him down awake but that seems so far away. Any ideas anyone????

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alittlebitshy · 19/02/2010 13:16

how old is he?

Littlemai · 19/02/2010 13:20

Oops fairly important he is 16weeks

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alittlebitshy · 19/02/2010 13:31

he is still so tiny.

you can't really do cc with one so small (and it sounds like you don@t want to anyway...).

I say give it time. My ds was being cuddled to sleep at that age. Suddenly at 6 months ish he would be put down awake and we have not looked back (bar one blip).

By then we had got ds into a bedtime routine - so he knew what was coming - last feed/cuddles etc and it worked. Yes he woke up for feeds in the night but bedtime was bedtime and we didn't have to watch out for if he was sleepy -his body clock had kicked in and knew it was bedtime.

how often does he nap in the day? some nap little and often... Will he sleep longer if you push him around in the pram (at that age both of mine napped in the pram all the time)

LaTrucha · 19/02/2010 13:31

Why do you want to put him down awake, out of curiosity?

DD bf to sleep until 10 months, by which time it had got a bit of a bind for her, really. She wanted to go to sleep more quickly.

We don't have any problems putting her down to sleep now - she's 25 months. Touch wood. You're not necessarily creating a habit that he won't just grow out of naturally.

You could try Elizabeth Pantley's gradual withdrawal method, though I won't describe it to you as I only read the one for the older baby and it may be different. It's in the No Cry Sleep Solution.

Littlemai · 19/02/2010 14:04

Thank you
I think Im just bit confused, I bought the no cry sleep solution am reading it at the mo, want be able to put him down awake cos everything i read says that's best. Thinking of my own routine(in the loosest possible terms) i just think its funny how/why i never really bf to sleep in day but have always done at night. I also now cant remember if he always cried himself to sleep? I just find it hard/upsetting when he's so sad and i can't help him. Maybe I should not worry about feeding to sleep and do that all the time but that confuses me too as we would have try and change our whole day.... just so confused also he is such a funny little thing he seems to be either really happy giggling and chatting or crying with very little middle ground x

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Littlemai · 19/02/2010 14:08

oh also meant to say he has 3 naps a day all max of 45 mins, I take him out in the pram at least once a day as he does normally sleep better then, in fact the one time he slept for 2 hours was during a walk and then i left him the buugy outside my back door and he stayed asleep x

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LaTrucha · 19/02/2010 17:01

I think it's about 4 months that they start remembering things other than your face etc.

Even my two-year old lives very much in the moment - it's either laughter or tears a lot of the time.

I think that it's very important that they get enough sleep. I'm not sure it matters how they get it. (Although I don't think it's a marvellous idea if they sleep in the day on top of you, because it's so lovely it's addictive!) Sometimes a feed, sometimes the pram, who cares?

There are a lot of books, and people, that will tell you it is very important not to sleep in the pram etc ad infinitum. IMO and IME if you find something that works for both of you, that's just dandy.

Littlemai · 19/02/2010 17:29

Thanks LaTrucha, I do completely agree with you about doing what works for you, and most of the time thats my philosophy I just have a crisis of confidence every now and then and panic about everything!

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LaTrucha · 19/02/2010 17:34

You and everyone else!

GhoulsAreLoud · 19/02/2010 17:36

Littlemai, re: naps, my DD was like this. 3 x 45 min naps a day.

She's 18 months now and occasionally naps for two hours but often only has 30 mins all day, so I think she may drop her naps altogether quite soon.

She also still has a little cry a lot of the time before she goes to sleep. We used to go back into her until we realised this was making her worse and that she wanted to be left alone so now we just leave her a max of 5 minutes to see if she settles and she normally does.

I think partly DD's naps and the way she goes to sleep are just part of her personality - there is so much she wants to do in a day she doesn't want to go to sleep and miss anything.

Not all babies are the same and I remember in the early days thinking I must be doing something wrong because all the other babies I knew were napping for hours at a time but I realise now they are just all different!

GhoulsAreLoud · 19/02/2010 17:37

Oops, just wanted to echo what la trucha said about where/how they nap. When DD was 4 months she could only be fed to sleep, between 6 and 9 months only slept in the pram and now she will pretty much only sleep in her cot. They change so much.

Littlemai · 21/02/2010 09:44

Thank you I will try and relax again and stop worrying about the "shoulds"

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