3 wk old who seems to hate 11-3am with a passion...tips please!?!?!??

[cleo78]

Hi, I've got a 3 wk old and he's taking about 120ml each feed (which is usually every 3 hrs through the day and 4-5 hrs through the night). EVERY night from about 12-3am, he turns from this happy little baby into the screaming monster and if i try to give him more food (i found sometimes that he seemed to be really hungry at night) he just ends up throwing it back up. He just keeps going and going with the crying, but we (reluctantly) started using a dummy which we obviously have to keep replacing. I try to leave him to cry out but generally we end up checking for wind, nappies etc until we're at our wits end- and then at 3am, when I offer him another feed, he takes it quietly, and goes off soundly to sleep till maybe even 8 or 9am??? I just don't know what to do sometimes.I know I'm lucky that he sleeps so long in the end, but I really want to at least shift the timings! Luckily, my husband doesn't seem to be as affected by the crying in the middle of the night as I do, but I'm really worried about going back to work in a 4-5 weeks and him still being in this horrible routine?? It's 'ok' at the mo when I can sleep with him in the late morning, but how on earth will it work when I'm working all day. I'm dreading the fatigue already...

I think all newborns have an unsettled slot of time within 24 hours. With both my DS's it was between 6pm and 10pm which is slightly more sociable I guess. They were both breastfed but on three/four hourly feeds of their own accord (big babies) but for some reason they just would not settle after the 6pm feed.

We just used to rock them, cuddle them, give them the dummy for those three or four hours. It was pointless feeding them because as you said they just chuck it back up as it's not a hunger cry.

Eventually around the six/eight week mark they stopped doing it and would settle at 7pm no problem. I know it's easy to say but the best thing you can do is just go with the flow and just be grateful you can get a chunk of six hours uninterupted sleep for now.

The only thing which rememdies the situation is time I'm afraid. You'll hear this a lot but it's just a phase. The chances are by the time you go back to work he will be in a completely different routine.

I agree with countrylover- 4-5 weeks is a long time in baby world. Anything can happen, don't panic.

Thank you! I guess I knew that deep down it would just be time that would do it- it's just nice to get some reassurance!
It was his 3am feed that was the unsettled one last night...so he's obviously willing to slight changes, so maybe there is hope that we can shift him a wee bit anyway!!

r u sure he isnt over-tired? I find mine gets totally wired if she is too tired, and then cant get to sleep. with her we need a dummy too (its driving me mad, but needs must) and tried swaddling, though she didnt like it - might be worth a try? we also find white noise helps - we have an old radio we leave between stations! good luck

My DS was exactly the same at that age. We foundthzt he got overstimulated incredibly easy and with time plus strict nap/awake times it settled down. I got quite anal about it and wouldn't let him stay awake more than 45 mins to an hour and as soon as he looked tired (glazed eyes, zombie look, etc etc) I'd get him to sleep. Wasn't popular with the grandparents but it stopped him getting overtired. We also banned visitors after 5pm as it was too exciting for DS!

We also realised he had silent reflux which unsettled him and he'd bring up his feed late at night. He'd only sleep upright on me/DH which was tiring!

I sound like a right routine freak - I'm not - we just learnt the hard way that our DS is so easily excited. Even now at 5 months we have to watch it!

It will get better with time, I promise!

I find chanting over and over "this will pass, this will pass" helps

Have same issue. Sending you some I Feel Your Pain vibes.

Thanks for suggestions re him being overtired- that wasn't something we had even considered! We've even been trying to keep him awake during the day in the hope that he sleeps better at night?! Oh god...so much to consider eh? Hubbie is obsessed with keeping him awake a wee bit more and I have to say that the only night he slept literally like a baby (!?!!?) was when he didn't sleep as much during the day and then we had loads of family over at night...
Last night I was on my own and ended up taking him into my bed and having him sleeping right beside me as I was just so tired and it meant I could pass the 'witching 2 hours' more easily with the dummy replacement thing going on- it worked and seemed much easier but was it a really bad thing to do?

If it worked I wouldn't worry.

I'm not convinced of the idea of keeping baby awake - it's not fair on them and makes them grumpy. I think there's anecdotal evidence it makes the witching hour worse. More sleep makes a baby more relaxed and better able to sleep.
Your baby will learn the difference between night & day. I read something somewhere which said babies learn faster if they're out in daylight in early/mid afternoon. Can't remember where I read it. So keeps days bright etc etc and nights dull and your baby will learn in time!

I agree that generally sleep begets sleep. I also am a great fan of doing whatever it takes to get maximum rest so think it was a great idea to bring him in with you. He's so tiny you are not building bad habits, don't worry. IT WILL PASS IT WILL PASS IT WILL PASS- and weirdly, you will forget he ever did it!