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Will I always have a baby strapped to my chest?!

6 replies

Littlestlass · 11/02/2010 11:24

I'm completely at a loss on what to do to get my 6 week old DD to nap except to put her in a sleepy wrap and let her sleep on me.

Prior to doing that, she'd just scream and scream and scream whenever I tried to put her in a cot or whatever and I could see she was knackered (prior to the marathon screaming sessions she'd been yawning, had glazed eyes etc) but she just wouldn't sleep! After a few minutes crying she tends to be impossible to calm, so this would go on for hours.

I am happy to keep up the baby wearing for the moment but as I get backache everyday and can't sleep when she does as she's attached, I can?t do it forever. I asked the HV and doctor and they said if the sling works do that - but for how long?!?!

Strangely at night, she tends to feed to sleep after we've got past the colicky night time yelling session which is never entirely fixable by putting her in the wrap. I swear she's just trying to keep us on our toes.

Anyway, I realise she's only young and everyone says you can't spoil kids too much by holding them etc, but I was wondering if anyone had the same problem and how long it took to fix/what you did to fix it? Or do I just need to get a back brace?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
teaandcakeplease · 11/02/2010 11:39

When they are windy, as it hurts so much they find it very comforting to be close to you. Also being upright can help the wind come up. Sorry I am stating the obvious here.

Generally speaking I rolled with it with my two until about 4 months after any wind issues had long gone and then I did a gentle bit of sleep training using the Baby Whisperer pick up put down method.

Keep them awake for no more than 2 hours at this stage and watch for sleep signs i.e. decreased activity, slower motions, less vocal, quieter, calmer, eye lids drooping, yawning, eyes less focused, appears disinetrested in surroundings etc. AND then start the soothing to sleep.

Two hours of wakefulness is about the maximum a baby can endure without becoming overtired. Sometimes babies may need to go to sleep after only being awake for an hour, this usually occurs first thing in the morning. Try to soothe them to sleep before they become overtired. It's OK to soothe to sleep at this age, they're so little, you won't teach them bad habits, BF/ or bottle feed to sleep in a darkened room in the quiet, rocking, swaddling etc. And then gently laying down in the cot should be fine. Putting an item in the cot that smells of you can help too.

You could look into buying a different sling that is better for your back in the meantime? Or Co-sleep for daytime naps, let them fall asleep on you and you can have a nap too. Let the chores wait. Enjoy your baby, they grow so quickly.

Have you tried swaddling? In the early days with mine I would soothe to sleep on me, swaddled in a dark room and lay down once they were in a deep sleep.

It took with my second baby who was very windy up to 10 weeks to settle easier. Even at feeds at night he'd squirm with wind after and be uncomfortable for ages. My usual blurb I give out is basically to try not to worry. It's such early days; you cannot spoil a baby at this age. Do whatever it takes to survive

Soothe to sleep on you and roll with it my lovely. They'll settle down again soon enough.

My second child cried for 2 to 3 hours a night until aged 10 weeks and I spoke to my health visitor about it, she agreed it was probably colic and her tips to try were:

Warm bath covering tummy.
Lying him on his tummy with a warm (not hot) hot water bottle under him to soothe tummy.
Cycling his legs whilst he's on his back. Holding feet palm to palm and rocking legs sideways, whilst lying on floor or lap.
Or scooping with right hand down his right side whilst holding feet palm to palm.
Or rocking him face down well supported on legs.

She also said don't eat anything that gives you wind such as brocolli, cabbage, caffeine, cauliflower, garlic or other stimulants if BF. She said if none of the above did work I could try buying Colief drops from a chemist and mixing in with feed by expressing it first, as she said sometimes colic is caused by a lactose intolerance.

I found that out of all of those the cycling the legs was particularly good. I also found that as he had trouble burping, the infacol made him cry harder as it coalesced the bubbles into one big one that still went downwards but hurt more. But giving him gripe water after every feed straight away really soothed his tummy. I had to do it every feed though without fail.

The warm bath in quiet room was also a real help. Every night at the time he started to get agitated I would put in the bath, in a bath cradle and keep putting warm water on his tummy and every now and then top the bath up with warm water, so it wouldn't get too cold for him. Once or twice he was in the bath for 2 hours in the early days as it was really calming for him. Once he started doing big yawns and it was bedtime, I'd take him out into a dark bedroom and change him and BF him quietly and then often he'd go to sleep straight away. He'd wake for feeds at 10.30pm, 2am and 5 am often at this stage.

Remember things will get better soon lovely, sending you a hug x

I suspect I may have repeated myself here, as I need to dash off but wanted to send you my tips, for what its worth.

AngelDog · 11/02/2010 16:07

I sympathise; 6 week old DS will only go to sleep in his cot about 5% of the time; the rest has to be on my chest (or DH's). And what you say about her overtired behaviour sounds exactly like DS.

I agree with not keeping her awake for too long, as teaandcakes says. About an hour and a half is the most DS can manage before needing to wind down before a nap (that includes feeding time).

I find the key is to watch him like a hawk for the early signs of tiredness (in my case, a couple of yawns and starting to be grizzly). That is the time to start one of the soothing to sleep methods. If I start too early, he gets cross as he's not yet tired; if too late, he's over-tired and frazzled. That makes all the difference as to how easily one of the settling methods works. I've not cracked it yet myself, but we're getting better, and his ability to get to sleep is slowly improving.

Some possible suggestions (but you may well have tried all these - hope you don't think I'm being patronising :

Lying down in bed with her (Make sure you follow the safe co-sleeping guidelines.)

Holding her upright on your chest whilst sitting in a chair. My DS likes this, while I pat his back and shush loudly in his ear. Sometimes he starts kicking and crying, but he often calms down again. Or I sometimes cuddle him in a 'cradle' hold. Some people find the 'tiger in a tree' hold good for settling babies.

Using the sling, but sitting in a chair. If you have a rocking chair

Using a dummy. If DS is yelling because he's over-tired, this may calm him down enough for the back patting / shushing to work. You may need to hold the dummy in place if she won't keep it in her mouth.

Using white noise - a radio tuned to static, a vacuum cleaner, hairdryer, tumble dryer, fan / fan heater etc.

Taking her out in the pram (or even rocking in the pram indoors).

A vibrating chair / baby swing / bouncy chair.

Stroking her nose in a downwards direction when she's tired - it's supposed to help them be sleepy, and it seemed to work for DS earlier today.

Make sure you give the sling to DH in the evenings and at weekends!

HTH

dinkystinky · 11/02/2010 16:18

One word - swaddle! Its a godsend. Makes them feel like they're being held so they sleep better - even better if you combine it with white noise. You can buy miracle swaddle blankets from mothercare etc. Swore by it for my 2 in the early days.

AngelDog · 11/02/2010 21:27

I'd second dinkystinky's advice - we swaddled with a sheet, which DS kept escaping from, and waking himself up by thrashing around. Then we got a miracle blanket - it's fantastic and really difficult for baby to get out of.

mindtheagegap · 12/02/2010 15:28

Don't worry, you won't spoil her and it will pass - I 'wore' my baby in her sling up to about 10 weeks as it seemed the only way that she would nap in the day - she wouldn't go near her cot and hated the pram too. I didn't mind too much as my wrap sling was quite comfy but I was forced to make a change when I got an infected cyst in my breast which was SO painful i couldn't have any pressure against it. I was convinced it'd be hell and that she wouldn't sleep at all but the first day I had to go to the doctor and I put her in her pram suit and hat and put her in the pram when the phone rang - by the time I got off the phone (2 mins later) she had finished crying and was asleep! She still sleeps in the pram now for naps (15 weeks), but i have to shush her to sleep on my shoulder first or take her out for a walk and the motion sends her off. She also likes to be really warm and as her pram suit is a bit tight I think its like swaddling her. The needing a sleep after 2 hours is SO true too, when I worked that out it all became easier. Good luck!

jeffily · 14/02/2010 10:25

Hi there. Don't know if you will still be checking this, but thought I would just add that I wore DD until she was 4 months for naps, then gradually started trying to get her to sleep in the buggy as her naps settled down into more of a routine, then when we had established that (which I think was about 5 months) started trying to get her sleep in her cot for one nap a day, in sling for others, gradually upped it to all naps in cot by 61/2 months. We did have to have some crying to get it established, but she will throw herself into her cot now when she is tired, and refuses to nap anywhere else (which is it's own problem...) I still carry her everywhere now though, and she is 11 months now! It does get easier...

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