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Isn't bedtime for a 20 month old supposed to be way before 10 pm?

8 replies

connyrabbit · 02/02/2010 11:49

My 20 month old DS won't go to bet until 10+ in the evening. It's been going on for quite a few weeks now and it's hard work.
He doesn't seem tired, remains his happy self but gets very cranky if we try to put him to bed any earlier.
I think that part of the reason he stays up so late is that he keeps himself up to see daddy. Daddy is adored and awaited all day long.
DH does adore him back, enjoys having him around very much, but it would be nice to have a dinner "à deux" from time to time as he does require a lot of attention.

There is no chance of trying sleep training and controlled crying because his father just cannot bear to hear him cry. Goes ballistic.
He has bitter memories of having been forced to bed night after night so won't put DS to bed if there is any sign of protest (and I am sure DS knows this and pulls that string deliberately).

And anyway DS does sleep through the night apart from that.
He does do a 2 hour nap after lunch every day, which he seems to need.

Has anyone else gone through this and how did you resolve it? I so miss the days when he went to bed at 7 (but he would wake up 3 times a night then...)!!
Maybe I should just get used to the fact that me, the I-need-my-10-hours lady has given birth to a child that needs little sleep... sob!

Thanks all!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Ineedsomesleep · 02/02/2010 11:51

Think you know the answer to this one.

And if its really getting on your nerves, get him up after half an hour in the day.

ShauntheSheep · 02/02/2010 12:01

Dd had a bedtime of 9 when little and then woke at 9 in the morning which was fine because both dp and I were happy with this.

If you are not happy (as you arent) then you need to sit down with your dp and discuss this.

LowLevelWhingeing · 02/02/2010 12:08

IMHO a 20 month old should not be deciding his own bedtime. That is far too young to be able to understand his own needs.

My 2 and 4 year olds go to bed at 7pm, which I guess is far too early for your DS, but there must be some middle ground that fits in with your whole family?

You don't have to go straight for full on sleep training, you can try other gentle methods for establishing a bed-time routine.

LoveBeingAMummy · 02/02/2010 12:10

Does he get proper daddy time, how about if dp put him to bed?

louii · 02/02/2010 12:14

DS always fell asleep late, between 9 and 10, suited me as he slept till 9ish in the morning and got daddy time in the evening.

We were pretty relaxed with bed-times etc, he started going to bed earlier once he started playgroup when he was 3.

addictedtolatte · 02/02/2010 12:20

the naps have to go am afraid. its the only way. i have just started cutting my 20 month ds naps out for the same reason and it has worked what time does he get up in the morning?

connyrabbit · 02/02/2010 12:35

Addoctedtolatte - he gets up between 6 and 7 in the morning. Painfully short nights...

Lovebeingamummy - if daddy puts him to bed they just giggle until he is so excited DH just "has to" take him out again... useless!

Lowlevelwingeing - That is my view too, but DH so violently disagrees that I've kind of let it go, no energy for a fight at that time of day, and more importantly since DS shows no signs of stress or tiredness and remains his charming self, I'm slowly coming round to the opposite view.

Anyway to start with I am going to wake him up from his nap right away (50 minutes).

Back in a tick!

OP posts:
Ineedsomesleep · 03/02/2010 15:43

If he gets up so early, can't he have Daddy time then?

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