At my wits' end with DS - CIO is the only option left but doesn't appeal. Help!

[NorkyButNice]

DS is 2.4 and an awful sleeper. He has a regular bedtime routine which starts at 7.30 but most nights is still whinging and crying at 9.30 and I just don't know what to do with him anymore.

We've tried going in as soon as he starts complaining, we've tried controlled crying (so letting him whinge for 5 minutes then going in), we've tried earlier bedtimes, later bedtimes, no TV, extra stories, bath before bed - all with no changes in his behaviour.

When we go in, whether he's been whinging or full on hysterics, he switches it off in seconds, beams at us and either asks for water (which is in his bed already in a non-spill cup), or to be tucked in (as he'll have intentionally kicked his duvet off.

To rub it in, he stays at my parents' once a week and sleeps for 12 hours straight there, going down without a whimper.

I've just switched the monitor off so I can't hear the whinging (will be able to hear loud crying) and am leaving him to it. If you have any ideas please let me know!

Anybody?

We caved on leaving him to cry so are back playing the usual silly games of whinge/water/whinge/tuck in.

I need him sleeping properly before DC2 comes in July!

Does he still nap? I had to stop DDs nap because she would still be chatting/singing/full of beans at 10pm with an afternoon sleep.

With no nap, she's out like a light by 8.30, up at 7.30/8ish. She was about 2y7m when we tried this.

What do your parents do differently?

Thanks for the replies!

Yes he still naps - up to an hour and a half at nursery along with the rest of his group.

Things my mum does differently - he sleeps in a travel cot there so he physically can't get out of bed. Also she uses blankets and sheets to tuck him in, rather than a duvet. Other than that, I guess the only difference is that he knows DH and I aren't there to pander to his every whim!

my ds is 2 and bad sleeper like yours. we pander to every need too and often co sleep, but what i have found works is that he likes me leaving him for a minute, to get water go to toilet etc, he calls to me all the while and i say i.m coming in a minute, then go in and make a big fuss about what a brave boy he is. it started with just a few seconds, but now it can be ten minutes, and once he actually just snuggled down and went back to sleep. its been a slow gradual process which i only do when he is not too distraught, but its working. hth

Not sure what to say... given that you say your Mum tucks him in, the one thing you can try is use a sheet or (if it's cold) a blanket to tuck in over the duvet to keep it in place. DD2 has always needed to be properly tucked in (she's almost 3 and went into a bed with duvet at 18 months) or she kicks her covers off and cries. So in summer I tuck a sheet over and in winter I use a blanket to keep her tightly tucked in. I would definitely forget the monitor provided you will hear if he really starts crying.